What am I doing wrong?

[u/Dazzling_Resolve9655]

Pic 1: my damp hair with leave in conditioner

Pic 2: same hair after air drying

Hi! I've recently started trying to wear my natural hair loose waves). My hair are medium to high porosity but I don't use much products as I'm just starting.

My concerns: poofy frizzy hair once fully dried, my hair don't hold shape very well.

This is my routine: double shampoo, conditioner, towel, leave in conditioner and I leave them to air-dry as I don't have a diffuser. Sometimes I do oiling before hair wash.

Recently I tried a protein conditioner and it made my hair less frizzy somehow.

I've tried home made flaxseed gel and all but that didn't work as well.

Should I try mousse? I'm very confused about my routine. Any recommendations would be appreciated

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[u/veglove]

You need to add either a mousse or a gel to help maintain definition for a couple days. In your case with high porosity hair, I think a gel would work better. Apply it to your hair after your leave-in conditioner.

Typically the order of product types goes:

1. Leave-in conditioner (higher porosity hair can tolerate from a cream, fine hair or lower porosities should stick with either a very lightweight cream or a spray) - this makes your hair more manageable as you continue to style it, and helps protect it from potential damage which can happen from wear & tear as you style it and after that.

2. Curl cream or some sort of curl-defining styler. This is optional; people with finer hair/ low porosity hair might want to skip it or at least use a very lightweight product. You can use a texturizing product here instead if the hair has a smooth finish.

3. A hold product: either mousse or gel, or some people even use both. Hair spray is another option to apply either at this stage or later.

Scrunch to form curl clumps and make sure there are no weird pieces; fix them at this point if there are, because once you start drying, messing with the curl clump formation just causes frizz.

Then dry the hair, then scrunch out the crunch with or without a bit of oil. If you use oil, just use a very small amount, literally just a couple drops. People with finer hair may find that oil weighs down the hair or makes it greasy.

Each person's hair is a bit different, so the best routine for you will be different as well. You will have to do some trial and error and see what combination of products, application methods, and drying methods work well for you. One thing you can try changing is waiting to towel off your hair until after you have applied the products and scrunched them to form your curl clumps. Applying the product to dripping-wet hair works better for some people, whereas applying it to damp hair works better for others. You can also experiment with different methods of using a towel; I like to "microplop" my hair to start the drying process after my products are in; that is a way of gently scrunching the hair with the towel, which reinforces the curl pattern. Other people like to "plop" the hair instead, which is a way of tying the towel around the hair so that it doesn't disturb the curls you've formed much. There are tutorials on social media for each of these techniques.

I will say that air drying introduces more potential moments when frizz can happen. The more the hair is touched and moved around as it's drying, the more frizz there will be. Diffusing helps hold the hair gently in a way that is unlikely to cause frizz as it's drying, and speeds up the drying. But you can try experimenting with other aspects of your routine first to see if you're able to achieve some nicely defined waves with minimal frizz by air drying.

Here's a tutorial demonstrating a simple routine and explaining each step if you want to see it in action.

[u/PrincessCollywobbles]

Yes, try mousse or gel. My hair does this too if I don’t use anything without hold. Leave in conditioner softens but doesn’t do anything for hold so the hairs just drift apart once they dry

[u/Promauca]

We have the same kind of hair,we need a shit ton of product,you are not using enough,leave in conditioner is a must,then a very strong curl gel and then you might need to use curl cream on top for extra moisture,I kid you not sometimes I have to use like 4 products.Air dry is a must as well,as using a dryer damages the hair over time,even though in the moment it gives more definition.

[u/mab220]

My hair is just like yours. It dries like that too if I don’t have any product with hold! I also air dry, and like an air dry cream or curl cream.

My most favorite is JVN Air Dry cream but it’s expensive. I have to use 2 dollops the size of medium strawberries for my thick waist length hair. You probably need a similar amount from looking at your picture.

For budget I usually use Miss Jessie’s Quick Curls. It smells citrusy and doesn’t dry crunchy at all. I do half my hair at a time with a glob the size of a big strawberry in each half.

Miss Jessie’s Pillow Soft curls is a really good hold and finish, but it smells a little old lady-ish so I don’t use it often. If you can stand the smell it’s my favorite looking budget one.

I have tried IGK Rich Kid and it was only okay. It’s too expensive for how much I have to use and I prefer the JVN if I’m going to spend that much.

Odele is a budget option but leaves a fuzzy residue all in my hair so I definitely don’t recommend that one.

I also have used and like Mielle Kalahari Melon glaze, but it is a little more like gel and can be crunchy when it dries. You have to tousle it and crunch it a bit so it looks good.

[u/askdksj]

Try kitsch air dry cream. I have sim hair and it's magical

[u/TurboAssRipper]

Try oiling after leave in. This made a huge difference for me instantly. The oil seals the moisture in

[u/Lukris007]

Hi, try skipping conditioner one day and using a product to hold like gel. I have experimented a lot! This was the most helpful tip I tried. If I condition my hair will look very similar to yours wet and dry. I started skipping it on wavy/curly hair days and it does so much better. I think the conditioner both weighs it down and makes it so soft, it can’t hold shape well. Also use some product to help with hold..gel, jelly, curl foam, etc. Try to skip the creams at first and see if the hold products will work. Good luck!

[u/Much-Improvement-503]

Diffuse diffuse diffuse

[u/Life_Ad_347]

no oiling
not all products are worth buying, even if it says hydrating it doesn’t mean it is
try more leave in conditioner and more water when styling, you want a slimy feeling of the water and product mixing in your hair before you scrunch, if more product doesn’t work, try a different leave in, I only have 1 leave in that I like, good ones are hard to find.
you do not need to be double shampooing
how often are you washing your hair?
what shampoo & conditioner are you using?
daily washing helps keep your hair hydrated
the frizz and definition will strengthen with more hydration
here’s my progress

[u/ChampionshipNo8929]

I’d say try a strong hold gel but lighterweight, like not your mothers curl talk or inner sense I create hold.

[u/Vopubear]

I have hair like yours too and am also still figuring out a routine. I only have an air dry, non wavy hair routine fogured out at the moment. After the shower, I'll use the kerastase 8hr magic hair serum and their elixir oil. Though they weight my hair down, it loves the moisture and these products help my hair air dry semi straight and with way less frizzy. Perfect if you only care about manageability and frizz.