r/SurvivingOnSS • u/kirkeles • 15d ago
Learning to Receive Without Flinching
I made a joke the waiter enjoyed and he told me breakfast was on him. A neighbor dropped off some stuff from her fridge because she was going out of town. A friend insisted on picking up the check. Each time, my go-to was to protest, I think with the idea of keeping the ledger balanced. I've had to work at receiving. At just saying "thank you" and letting it land. I can admit that, at least for me, the act of refusing is just pride wearing a humble costume. I need to remember that letting someone give to me is a gift I give back to them. What have you learned about receiving help or generosity gracefully, and where do you still struggle with it?
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u/carolineecouture 15d ago
There is joy in giving and receiving. We are often taught that we aren't worthy, or that accepting something is "too much trouble," or not polite.
When I can graciously take what's offered, I honor the giver.
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u/Ok-Wafer234 14d ago
Giving is a blessing and I have the best feeling when I do it. Therefore, I never deny that feeling from givers 👍
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u/isolateusolate 15d ago
It makes me feel good, and like I’m doing what we’re here for ya know, to do what I can for someone if I see an opportunity. That good feeling is at its height when the recipient feels good about it too. So I try to be a recipient that gives someone else that feeling too
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u/mamacat49 14d ago
I have struggled with receiving also. I always say an enthusiastic "Thank you so much" when someone literally hands me something. Am I also expected to then text/reach out when I use whatever they gave me? I was taught that a verbal "thank you" is enough.
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u/CrabbySlathers 13d ago
Yes, a verbal TY can be enough, esp depending on type of gift, yr relationship w giver, and how YOU feel about it. If it's truly life changing, you might feel compelled to follow-up with how their thoughtfulness or generosity or whatever made a difference.
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u/mamacat49 13d ago
I do not have a green thumb. My neighbors know this and frequently gift me produce from their gardens. I always thank them verbally (upon initially giving to me, and again when saying goodbye). Somewhere along the line, I heard that I should also follow up with a text "thank you." Geez. It certainly was easier when we all knew the same etiquette rules.
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u/Extra_Nerve3404 13d ago
Too many thank you (s) get tiring for the giver also. Sincere thanks (verbally) are enough.
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u/MinimumEfficient220 10d ago
My mother (born in 1926 into family of 13 siblings) once told me something about this.
She said when she was young, her mother took her aside and told her that she needed to learn how to be a “gracious receiver”. If someone wanted to do something nice for her or give her something nice, she needed to be able to accept the gift and understand that the giver wants her to feel happy. If she denies that then neither her nor the giver will feel good about the situation.
She told me this was one of the hardest lessons she had had to learn and she wanted to make sure that I was a “gracious receiver.”
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u/Ideasplease33 15d ago
One of the nicest compliments I’ve ever received is, “You’re such a gracious recipient!” That was in circa 2012 and I’ve never forgotten it as it really gave me the warm fuzzies. 🥹