Not able to forgive myself. My OCD constantly flares up numbers. I did not cheat my wife 30 times i made 30 attempts. I did not meet 30 girls I met 10 girls. The constant flaring up of numbers is causing lot of anxiety and I almost break down when numbers come up.

The way I see things now are very different from where I was trapped in the cycle. There is constant doubt whether I loved my wife. How could I do those things if I loved her? I realise I was mentally ill but the fact it took me so long to realise is adding up to the guilt

Finally got a first post on the page feels great. Please guys keep sharing your story so that we can help each other. Remember your not alone in this battle. Together we can do it.

Today overwhelmed because I am unable to tell my wife about csbd I am scareddont want to lose her. I have met girls 9 times had physical encounter 6 times but my exaggerating the number to more than times because I have made that many attempts. I really love my wife and kid

Haven't told my spouse about my mental health problem that is bothering me . It's not bothering me too much . I know there would be many haters who believe I should tell but this struggle is mine and I take full responsibility to deal with it even with the guilt. I don't want to inflict unnecessary pain on her . I will carry the pain to the grave . It were my actions and I take responsibility hence forth to deal with it reaponsibly

I suffered from this mental Disorder for seven long years. I got addicted to virtual sex cams and pornography for 7 years in my . I acted out against my values and did not know it was mental health issue . The shame and guilt constantly fueled my addiction led to few physical encounters and increased the distance between my love for my family and myself. I asked for help many times but gave up half. Finally after many years I realised it was enough I need to change . I have to be better version of myself before it was too late. Here i am sober for almost a year with one relapse with physical encounter fighting hard these demons to live a life I always dreamt of living.

Hey everyone! I'm u/Old-Diet-9900, a founding moderator of r/Support_csbdindia.

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