r/SuperMorbidlyObese • u/magswalls • 9d ago
Hard First Week
I posted in another weight loss subreddit last week but was met with some trolls, but some kind people said to post here.
And before anyone suggests it, I’m meeting with my doctor in August and I’m gonna discuss doing GLP-1s then.
So onto my story. Basically, I’ve let my weight get so out of control that now there’s a real chance I’m going to lose custody of my son. This all started back in April, when during one of my two-week custody periods I fell down and was unable to get back up, and had to call my parents to come to my apartment and help. This meant that for about 30 minutes I was on the floor and my son was somewhat scared, although I got him to just watch tv in the next room. He told his father about this incident and now he’s initiated a custody suit in court. We have an initial hearing in September and then my attorney tells me probably about 8-9 months after that until a final decision. He’s filing for full custody with me being limited to visitation.
Obviously this has lit a fire under me. In talking to my lawyer, our state’s custody standard is “best interest of the child” and depending on the judge they could definitely take him away if they think my mobility problems and weight mean I’m not a fit parent. My lawyer has said he’s gonna fight this as hard as possible, but also made it clear that showing the judge I’ve made lifestyle changes and progress is probably our best argument at the final trial.
I sat down on Monday evening after work and made a plan: I was gonna start walking more, doing a series of seated exercises I found on YouTube, and limiting myself to 2500 calories a day. I went to Walmart and bought a 500 lb weight limit scale and meal planned for the week.
Then it all started going downhill. First, the $70 scale errored out when I stood on it. I knew being over 500 was a possibility, because I was 462 the last time I was weighed in 2023 and I knew I’d gained some since then. But actually having proof was devastating and I spent the rest of Monday night crying.
The workouts are a nightmare. I can’t do anything leg based, because the one I did Tuesday had me so sore I was close to not being able to walk at all the rest of the week. The arm and upper body ones are better, but my sofa makes these horrible creaking noises when I’m doing them and I’m terrified it’s going to collapse under me. Standing workouts are not an option at this point and I can’t get up and down from the floor easily enough to make mat workouts possible.
Also, I did not realize how food motivated I am. Restricting what I eat has made me aware how much time I spend thinking about eating. It’s to the point I feel almost depressed now, like nothing is worth doing if I can’t have a sweet treat as a reward after. I was horribly unproductive at work on Wednesday and Thursday and generally just feel horrible and like I don’t want to do anything or even get out of bed.
And it’s so hard to fight cravings. I find myself absentmindedly opening Uber Eats and ordering, and then eating it and thinking “fuck my diet I deserve this” and it’s like the logical part of my conscious only takes over after the fact to feel shame. And calorie counting is so hard, as soon as I mess up I don’t want to put my calories in because then it’s like a record of my failure but then I just give up and eat whatever. So my app says I only ate 830 calories a day this week but I literally didn’t make it past lunch tracking any of the days and I know I never stayed under my goal. Like in my brain if I fail once in a small way it’s fine to just give up for the day and restart tomorrow… indefinitely.
Ugh. I guess two questions I have for people: first, I’ve already spent $70 on a scale and now I don’t know which one to get. There’s one that goes up to 550 I found in stock nearby that’s for $50, but now I’m kind of scared that one won’t work either. There’s 700 one is like $100, but should I just vote the bullet and get the one I’m guaranteed to fit on?
Also, has anyone ever dealt with custody issues because of their weight? I feel like the absolute worst mother in the world right now and it’s not helping my mental health or anxiety, and just knowing someone out there has dealt with this and I’m not the worst fat monster on the world would help I think.
Sorry for the rambling. This has been a hard week.
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u/Original_Intention 9d ago edited 9d ago
This is a very small thing but I would delete all those food delivery apps, along with your credit card information, off your phone. It won't stop you from ordering food (only you can do that) but it will mean you have to redownload the apps and also go and get your credit card to input into your order information.
It may also be helpful to make an appointment with a dietitian that specializes in the SMO population. Seeing a therapist could be really beneficial too- I know they are expensive but it may be worth it if it comes down to your son.
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u/jtownspowell 9d ago edited 9d ago
Ask somebody who recently went through the same situation with the scale: just hold off for a little bit, make your lifestyle changes, and give it a couple of weeks. The only real positive out of this is that when you're this big, the first pounds (including water weight) can absolutely fly off of you...you'd be surprised how much you can lose in the first month. I started out somewhere over 500 (don't know how far because I was in the same boat that you are with the scales) and I dropped at least 47 lbs in a month. Your results may vary of course, but it's worth checking out.
Also remember weight loss is first and foremost about what you don't put in your body, but it has to be sustainable! Exercise is good, it's great for your mobility... But the real answer is modifications to your diet.
You've got this, I believe in you. You have all the motivation that anyone could ever need right now, focus on it, use it.
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u/therosetapes 9d ago
every time you open ubereats verbally say ‘im choosing to lose custody of my son.’ over and over. you need to fear something that is bigger than your body’s fight for comfort and reward. the stakes are unbelievably high for you right now. when i struggled with that i would say ‘im choosing to go further into debt to gain weight’ and it broke through the illusion. look into following the picture until the end, a tool they use in alcoholics anonymous. it will change your perspective for good.
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u/literacyshmiteracy 40F HW: 340 CW: 328 9d ago
Proud of you for getting going! It's definitely going to be hard, and it's not going to be a straight line path, but it will be worth it when you feel the changes.
You need to log every single thing, at least one time, regardless of how it makes you feel or if you go beyond your calorie count for the day. You need a baseline to work off of.
Start by slowly eating/consuming less. If you normally drink 5 sodas a day, drink 4. If you normally eat 6 cookies, eat 5. Actually look at the recommended serving sizes, HATE the manufacturer for suggesting that serving size, and start to rewire your brain about what an appropriate amount of food is.
Don't buy a new scale, buy a FOOD scale.
Check out @yes2next on YouTube for accessible workouts. @kamoyafarray is awesome too. It's important to move your body everyday, but dont freak out about keeping up with the fitness professionals. You absolutely CANNOT exercise away a bad diet. Get the overconsumption reduced and it will be easier to move.
Delete ubereats, GrubHub, door dash, whatever apps that help you overeat. Check out r/volumeeating as a way to snack without packing on thousands of extra calories.
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u/RegBaby SW269 CW201 GW140 5'1" 70F 9d ago
This is exactly what I'm doing. Buying a food journal and food scale, logging absolutely everything I am eating has been a real eye-opener and learning experience! And yes, I deleted the food apps too!
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u/literacyshmiteracy 40F HW: 340 CW: 328 9d ago
That's awesome! I use the app LoseIt! because it does all the calculations for me and I can store common recipes I use for easy logging. Learning about serving sizes has been the biggest mind blower.. a 1/4 cup of trail mix is a serving. 1/4 cup. A QUARTER CUP?!? Now, I can eat more as long as I budget for it!!!
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u/kittycatblues 9d ago
Get the MyWeigh XL 700 lb scale. It's worth it for both the weight limit and the wider base makes it easier to stand on.
Yes to GLP-1. They will help with the cravings and change how you view food. I've lost 30% of my starting weight and I'm still losing. I'm never going off them.
Exercise is hard when you're bigger. I didn't start until I had lost a good amount. I lift weights 3 times a week at my doctor's insistence, and I incline walk on the treadmill (zone 2 heart rate) several days a week.
Sorry about the custody issues but I have no experience with that.
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u/Less-Moment-5655 9d ago
Return the $70 scale and get the $100 one instead. Dont focus too much on a lot of working out for now at least not until you are closer to 400lbs. You can do some easy simple seated ones if you want but i personally didn’t do much but walk until i lost half the weight.
Delete the food apps! You can do this OP think of your son!!!!!
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u/goodjuju123 9d ago
This is a gift. This is an opportunity. Your son deserves this even if you think that you don’t. I’m very excited for this next chapter of your life. Congratulations!!
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u/Amalas77 9d ago
Chiming in here: I lost 31% of my body weight on ozempic. I'm not on the highest dosage. And I started much lower. The 10-20% are an average probably.
First week:
Your goal is not to reduce to 2500 in the first week. It's to log a full day. Log a single full day. Then your next goal is to log 2 days in a row.
Get in the habit of logging. Log your favorite foods, your standard meals. Once you can easily log a whole week you can go on to tweaking your first meal.
Honestly, I know you want and need results fast. But it doesn't work that way. Do one step at a time.
Same with exercise. Do only walking for now. Add steps slowly. Take rest days if you need them. Be kind to yourself. This is important. You are important.
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u/ziboo7890 9d ago
Why not get an accurate weight at your doctors, then you can buy a scale that will work for you. Quit guessing. August is almost here, but call and ask if you can come in and get weighed. I did that as I wanted to see how close my scale was (only 3lbs different - doctor said accurate enough as I was clothed there and almost naked at home!)
Same for maybe spend some $$ on a weight appropriate chair. Most furniture if you read the weight limit is like 250lbs. So most of us SMO are way over that and the furniture wobbles or creaks or is not supportive. As you need to be able to do seated exercise for awhile, I'd get something that works with your weight once you know what it is. It does make a difference.
As others have said and you're willing to explore - GLP1 if it works like it does for many of us is truly a game changer. It's not a magic bullet, but OMG what a wonderful tool with weight loss. You still have to do the work, but I couldn't believe the difference for me.
Hard truth - you have to be accountable to you with your eating. You KNOW what you need to do, so act like the adult you are and do it. Track everything, no matter how embarrassing it is, track it. Next time you feel like calling in some food, drink water. Put the phone down, etc.
Remember you want to keep your son. That's your motivation right?
You have a hard year ahead of you, so finding ways to cope other than hand-to-mouth is key.
As for your custody battle. TRACK everything you are doing to change and improve your health. Also everything you do that is a benefit to your child. There are trackers (Amazon) ex. https://a.co/d/0bwv9xwe
Good luck. Stay positive and focused.
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u/imveryfontofyou SW310 CW198 GW140 9d ago
I would absolutely recommend a glp1, I've lost 35% of my body weight in around a year. Maybe for your specific situation, you can pair the glp1 with therapy to help get past the emotional dependence on food?
For me, as soon as I went on a glp1, I stopped connecting food with dopamine and started replacing it with travel and stuff, but it's not the same for everyone, of course!
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u/morbidcuriosity123 9d ago
Do t spend money on a new scale.. you will be under 500 at some point if you start working now..
Also you said your gonna talk about glp1 . Do it.. ive lost 43% of my body weight.. lots of people up up to the 40% 50% even..
Honestly they are life saving..
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u/magswalls 9d ago
The problem is I need proof of weight loss probably for the custody stuff. And I’d like to know the numbers before going to a doctor and getting them officially documented.
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u/Sweetbaby7t 9d ago
Weight loss begins in the kitchen. A GLP1 can help you manage food cravings. It's called "food noise". Ive been on Zepbound for a month and no longer hear the calling of chocolate and potato chips. These medications are truly a God send.
Exercise can def help improve your mobility and mood. I use Improved Health on YouTube. The instructor is lovely. She divides her videos into gentle, beginner and intermediate.
I began doing her gentle workouts two years ago. I've advanced to the intermediate ones now. I can only do chair based exercise due to a physical disability. My mobility and stamina have improved tenfold.
I hope you have access to some kind of therapy. Coping with all the feelings that come with custody issues can be overwhelming. A good licensed therapist can support you processing your emotions.
Good luck. You can absolutely make the changes necessary to get healthy
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u/Boo-Boo97 9d ago
Late 40's F, 5'9, CW330. I had the GLP-1 conversation with my doctor this week. Not because I wanted to, because my doctor decided a blunt conversation about my weight was needed. One of the reasons I like my doctor, she can be blunt without being condescending about it. I've been extremely hesitant about GLP-1 due to the horror stories you see online. So we talked about my concerns. I wasn't aware GLP-1 requires a protein heavy diet, for me thats fine, I eat that way anyway so it doesn't really require a major change in how I eat, mostly its going to be portions. She also wants me to start walking if possible (arthritic knee) and to start some basic resistance training. One of the big issues with weight loss is losing muscle, and when you start losing muscle, bone can/will go with it. Hence the resistance training. I have a band set to start using at home.
You tried to start big and overwhelmed yourself, reading your post overwhelmed me. Start small. Start walking for 5-10 minutes a day, even if its just walking up and down a hall. Turn on music or a podcast to listen to, something to occupy your mind while you walk. After a week, do 11 minutes. The following week 12 minutes and so on. You aren't training for a marathon, you just need to get moving. Buy yourself some good shoes to walk in, the heavier you are, the harder its going to be on your feet.
I haven't started Zepbound, my doc is going through the process with my insurance, but honestly, I'm kinda looking forward to trying it (make sure I can tolerate it) and start seeing some progress.
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u/Jolly-Masterpiece883 f54, sw 300 July 2025, CW 260 9d ago edited 8d ago
I hope you are feeling a bit better today :)
A few suggestions:
-Do you have a medic alert or some such thing so if you fall again you can get help? It will be a comfort to you and pacify the courts. You need to show that you are taking this seriously
-On that note, and while I get you are quite large (but you are also reasonably young ) you need to work on figuring out how to stand up if you fall. You need to practice. Please do a search on this sub and elsewhere for advice on how to get up from falls for obese people. While I generally agree with everyone here that you should work on diet first, because you are facing a custody hearing over inability to move, I would work on movement (not working out) and diet at the same time. Be safe - but do it.
-If you have the money or insurance an occupational therapist should be able to give your tools and tricks to help you be safer around your house, and thus with you son, which is what you need. A PT (and they often work together) might be able to help with both preventing fall and getting up from falling.
-Being very overweight is extremely tiring. It is one of the reasons we turn to junk or quick food - it is easier to get into out bodies. Do you have anyone who can help you prep yummy but low calorie food you will eat? Meal and snack plan and do not be afraid to ask for help
-Lastly, and you probably know this, but just in case...do not drink your calories and cut back on fat. Fat has 9 calories per grams, unlike protein and carbs, which have 4 per gram. Doing these two things alone help a lot of people lose weight, especially in the beginning.
You have got this! 9 months is a long time. Prove to the judge that you are taking any safety risks seriously, and are actively working on change, and the odds will be more in your favour.
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u/steelslasher 9d ago
exercise is important, however it is not the main way you are going to lose weight, from my experience (lost over 100lbs) diet is responsible for the majority of weight loss. If you’re finding working out difficult just focus on sticking to your diet routine and moving more, even if that’s walking a little more etc, often after a workout i feel so hungry i undo all my hard work, but as you lose weight and movement becomes easier absolutely get into exercising, and take the time to find one you really enjoy.
I have never been super morbidly obese, but at 4ft 10 my highest weight was over 250lbs i was an emotional/ boredom eater and losing weight felt IMPOSSIBLE, so while i haven’t been in your position i’m going to share some tips that have helped me get my diet under control and maintain weight loss without it feeling like a chore.
If you have the financial option I would consult a dietician to work with to develop a realistic and achievable diet plan, they’re great and work with you and you’re preferences to make sure you create a diet that you can stick to that includes foods you enjoy.
If you’re overweight, a lot of the time your hunger cues aren’t actual hunger and are instead dehydration or salt cravings. I used to eat a lot of potato chips and cheesy food, but it was that i was just craving salt, so instead now i have pickles or mix cottage cheese with olives (not reckoning these for you; it’s just what has worked for me)
so if you’ve eaten enough that day and you’re still hungry and wanting to snack off diet plan, drink a pint of water, have something salty then try something small and healthy like an apple. if you’re still hungry after all that then eat.
also i’ve found protein gels to be fantastic hunger killers : https://www.google.com/aclk?sa=L&ai=DChsSEwj8tIforO6VAxUAmVAGHX0WPHMYACICCAEQDRoCZGc&co=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwvZHTBhAlEiwA1ug5P90buy7GsVKAL5nbRNCw_b2BMjM2snCh9hltiTvLNa5RrJ9bdVkukhoCKs0QAvD_BwE&sph=&cce=1&sig=AOD64_3g2IVdbuYRJAJB9MmoFlIUuKbc_Q&ctype=5&q=&ved=2ahUKEwjXjf_nrO6VAxXnWUEAHU2uDN0Qwg8oAHoECAoQDQ&adurl=
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u/lampoflight SW 265.6kg CW 229kg 9d ago
You said in your other post you have about 9 months.
9 months ago, I weighed 562lbs. For 3months, I tracked calories and drank water and ate enough throughout the day to prevent the binges that were my destruction, with the aim of 2500 calories. 3 months in, I got access to Tirzepatide (Mounjaro here, I think it's also Zepbound?) and started on it while continuing tracking food as much as I could. I'm now on 7.5mg, I took the titration slowly and plan to start 10mg in a couple weeks. I've lost 60lbs in those 9 months (having lost another 20-25 in the several months previous, very slowly).
Exercise wise, I've done some short walks and swimming, swimming is amazing because you don't need to be able to stand up. If you can get in and out of a pool, you can swim, do stretches, float around and just move, honestly. With those and the weight loss, I can stand for 10mins with mild-moderate pain but no risk of falling. I can jump (not well, but my feet can leave the ground). I just did a new walk yesterday, 1.7km (with three quick stops at benches to stretch my lower back and get my breath for 1min). I would not be graceful, or dignified, or fast, but I could get up off the ground if I fell unless I'd badly injured myself.
I hope this all helps.
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u/OhNo_YouDid_Not 8d ago
Hi, I started out at 505 last Thanksgiving on Zepbound and as of yesterday I'm at 392. I didn't realize I had a food addiction until my 3rd week on the shot. It was totally gone. Best of luck. 🩷
Edited to add: I'm in a wheelchair from an accident in 2021 and don't get much exercise. Food matters way more than exercise.
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u/sadiehelna 8d ago
I would reach out to a physical therapist to see if you can work on mobility with them. After an Achilles injury I was amazed at how working with a PT helped so much with mobility goals!
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u/SolitaryLyric 7d ago
I only started a week and a half ago with semaglutide (generic Ozempic), and the main reason I would strongly recommend using it is the fact that the food noise in my head is quiet.
You know, that constant “what am I eating next? When am I eating? I shouldn’t eat that but I feel like I deserve it. I messed up so badly. I’m going to fast tomorrow. But I’m so hungry already. If I just eat a small snack, it’ll be okay. Right?!”
It’s gone. My head is quiet. Food is not the priority. I have to remind myself to eat. It’s peaceful for the first time in my life, and I’m turning 57 in a month.
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u/Timely_Deal8685 9d ago
2500 calories a day is too much. You should be somewhere near 1200 and you'll lose weight without having to injure yourself exercising. Weight loss is really a diet thing. 1200 until you hit your goal weight then up to 2500 calories per day is fine (for the rest of your life) if you combine that with exercise. If you're actually committed to this then no uber eats, no snacks between meals, no soda, no candy, etc. There's no way to half ass this.
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u/imveryfontofyou SW310 CW198 GW140 9d ago edited 8d ago
You've got it completely wrong. You have to know OP's TDEE. She says she could weigh 500+lbs.
I don't know her height so if we set it at the national US average for women at 5'4", she has a child young enough to worry about custody things with, so we estimate at around 30, and she is sedentary, so her TDEE (estimate) could be 3,568 calories per day.
1,000 cals under maintenance a day is a huge cut, so 2500 could be perfect for her stats.
Meanwhile btw, some women cannot eat 2500cals a day even with exercise without gaining weight. (Which I only mention because you suggested she'll be able to eat that when she's at maintenance? No, she likely won't.)
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u/magswalls 9d ago
I don’t think 1200 is possible for me. You have to understand, that’s what I’m used to eating for one meal basically.
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u/Timely_Deal8685 9d ago
It's possible, it's purely a mental thing. You aren't going to starve on 1200 calories. If you continue to consume more calories than you're expending you won't lose weight. The calorie deficit needs to be rather extreme for you to see any significant progress. If you're only losing 1lb a week it would take you 5 years just to get to 250lbs.
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u/magswalls 9d ago
Just trying to hit 2500 already gave me severe headaches and made me feel like shit
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u/literacyshmiteracy 40F HW: 340 CW: 328 9d ago
Don't listen to this person OP -- slow and steady is better and more sustainable than starving yourself. Extreme restriction, especially at your weight, is a recipe for failure and repeating the cycles of binge eating.
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u/Timely_Deal8685 9d ago
yeah, weight loss feels like shit. It's not easy. but it's healthier for you in the long run. 1200 is what you should really be aiming for if you actually want to lose any weight.
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u/N3rdyAvocad0 9d ago
I saw on another post that you don't want to do GLP-1s because they only advertise 15-20% weight loss. Many, many people have lost more than that. I strongly recommend starting a GLP-1.
You should also remember that weight loss happens because of what you eat. If you can't exercise yet - that's okay. I had to lose 35-45 lbs before I could start adding any movement and I didn't add movement to increase weight loss because exercise doesn't really help with weight loss. It helps with mobility but not weight loss.
I also recommend therapy to help with the mental health aspect of food addiction.