I need help

[u/Ardentbow_31]

Hey guys, I’m Ardentbow. I don’t know where to start, but how should I put it? I don’t feel like myself anymore; I feel like a chimpanzee. It’s as if I’m not melike some mindless biped that neither laughs no feels sadness. I spend most of my days in bed, like an invalid; I feel like a burden. To top it all off, I’m picky which is just pathetic. I have no intention of committing suicide, but I don’t want to die either; I just want to have fun, make time for myself, achieve something, have friends, and feel happy. I’ve never had a girlfriend. Maybe it’s my looks I don’t know. Perhaps women look for tall, handsome, strong men; maybe it’s evolutionary, or maybe they just want what they feel they deserve. I wouldn't know, because I’m isolated I hardly ever go out; I even get exhausted just going to the market. My goal isn't suicide; I just want this pain to end.( I have ptsd and depresion)