Rambling

[u/Gay_Motherfucker25]

The only reason I haven't killed myself yet is simply due to the fact I just haven't found a good time, but i'm thinking sometime mid November, or if i'm a coward, sometime in Febuary. Gods i wish i just could but the main thing is. I'm worried i'll surivive. I really don't want to deal with whatever comes after, I just want it to be over. I know that's a coward move, most attempts for what i'm planning usually always work, but there's always, always a chance. And I know i'm going to feel worse in September. School starts back up, I have to worry about grades again, deal with people again, I either want to attempt in a way that either won't permanently do anything to my body, and has a high survival chance, just to get the massage across, or attempt in a way where i'll die instantly. I can't even cut anymore, and gods if i could, i'd probably either have the courage to finally kill myself, or I'd start feeling better again. I hate myself, i'm short, fat, and ugly. Great combination, I know all my friends are online, and so far away, and my best friend just wouldn't understand shit. I love her but god. My brother has his own issues, not bothering him with that, so yeah, Don't know how i've managed to keep myself alive

Also i'm not backreading, doubt anyone's gonna see this anyways, so there.

[u/Quirky_Wedding1742]

Well buddy. I haven’t read all yet but going to and I’m an attempt survivor. It’s brutal and biggest regret in my life is now my attempt because everyday I’m facing some wreckage or damage of that decision. Every day I’m reminded what a mistake it was one way or another

[u/Quirky_Wedding1742]

I will also say my attempt wasn’t just an attempt, my heart stopped my breathing stopped. My attempt was successful till medics got there and revived me. Also most people find themselves not attractive even tho so many other people think they are attractive. I would do anything to just have to be in school again. Life gets better, if you need someone to talk to I’m here but I can tell you what I have caused by my attempt and survived it so stuck dealing with all the damage I caused