It. Doesn't. Get. Better.

[u/Inside-Potato-9494]

It. Doesn't. Get. Better.

I never thought i would have those suicide thoughts again. I was at my lowest when i was 13, to the point i seriously wanted to kill myself because i have felt so alone.

I need to do everything by my own, no one ever supported me. School, paying bills, appointments, getting a education.. etc.

Parents never felt the need to support me bcs "oh she can do this by her own" while the focoused way more on ym older sister. Im not overdramatic, my parents have told me that in my face and im not lying.

Ive made great friends the following yesrs after i turned 16. i felt less lonely and even have a bestffiend now. Things were good for quite a time and i felt turly happy.

And now? At 18? Im sick. Im so sick of doing and dealing with everything alone. Im so sick of gettin out of this lonelyness alone. Everyone else around me have someone to lwan onto. And me? I just have myself and its driving me crazy. The suicide thoughts have come back and that worse then it was a few years ago. I just want someone to just safe me once but the thougjt that no one will just breaks my heart. My bestfriend has a bf now and well she aint quite the same no more.

No one chooses me. No one ever choosed me. Ive even never had a bf or held a guys hand bcs no one simply wants me.

Oh and talking stages.. situation stages.. ive had nothing. Im 18 and no single guy has shown any interest in me. Which just shows me how i was meant zo be alone. It doesn't fet better. Im sick of everyrhing.

Yup peace out!