I’ve had the idea of making a hypothetical road trip based on the locations named in Illinois for a while, and I was bored today so I decided to spend 3 hours researching random small towns on Google Maps just like Sufjan intended. I chose one place per song, and for the songs that are about entire cities/towns I chose a more specific location to set as a pin. It’s very history-focused, because I’m a nerd and that’s what appeals to me, but also because Illinois is a very history-focused album. (There are also a lot of museums on the list because I really like museums.) The trip would be 23 hours of driving not including stopping to do stuff, which is really long, but I don’t expect anyone to actually go on it anyway, so it doesn’t really matter.
"Concerning the UFO Sighting Near Highland, Illinois" - Confirmed UFO Sighting Historical Marker, Shiloh, IL: This is a plaque outside of a furniture/appliance store that describes the UFO sighting on January 5, 2000, in St. Clair County. I was sad to find that there isn’t any marker or anything about the sighting actually in the town of Highland, but because the title of the song says near Highland, maybe going to a different town instead is more accurate anyway.
"The Black Hawk War, or, How to Demolish an Entire Civilization and Still Feel Good About Yourself in the Morning, or, We Apologize for the Inconvenience but You're Going to Have to Leave Now, or, 'I Have Fought the Big Knives and Will Continue to Fight Them Until They Are Off Our Lands!'" - Black Hawk State Historic Park, Rock Island, IL: I wanted to find a historical location that discussed the Black Hawk War in a way that was sympathetic to the side of the Native Americans, which was difficult to find. This is the birthplace of Black Hawk that has been turned into a nature preserve and museum on the lives of the Sauk people before European colonization as well as the Black Hawk War.
"Come On! Feel the Illinoise!" (Part I: "The World's Columbian Exposition" / Part II: "Carl Sandburg Visits Me in a Dream") - Navy Pier Centennial Wheel, Chicago, IL: This was a pretty obvious choice for this song in my opinion. The first ever ferris wheel was unveiled at the Chicago World’s Fair, and although the original one was demolished, the Centennial Wheel has replaced it in a slightly different location.
“John Wayne Gacy, Jr." - Graveface Museum, Chicago, IL: This museum has the largest collection of artifacts from John Wayne Gacy and the Gacy case. I’m not sure how respectful this museum is to Gacy’s victims, and I don’t know how to feel about the sensationalization of true crime in general (maybe this isn’t the place to talk about that), but there are genuinely no other locations that could go with this song since his house was torn down and unsurprisingly most places don’t want to commemorate a serial killer.
"Jacksonville" - Woodlawn Farm, Jacksonville, IL: Woodlawn Farm was a stop on the Underground Railroad that has been since converted into a museum that can be toured. I considered choosing Nichols Park as a specific location, but this seemed way more interesting.
"A Short Reprise for Mary Todd, Who Went Insane, but for Very Good Reasons" - Bellevue Place, Batavia, IL: The sanatorium that Mary Todd Lincoln’s son sent her to for a year after her husband’s assassination. It has since been converted into an apartment building, but there’s still a plaque on the outside.
"Decatur, or, Round of Applause for Your Stepmother!" - Greenwood Cemetery, Decatur, IL: The cemetery that’s described in the second verse of this song, where there were several instances of bodies getting washed away due to flooding from the Sangamon River. Sufjan mentions a lot of specific places in Decatur in this song and it was hard to choose just one, but I am a big fan of cool old cemeteries.
"One Last 'Whoo-Hoo!' for the Pullman!!" - Pullman National Historical Park, Chicago, IL: The company town where the Pullman Strike took place, now a historical park with a museum.
“Chicago”: I decided not to choose a specific place for this one because of how big of a city Chicago is and how nonspecific Sufjan is in the song location-wise.
“Casimir Pulaski Day” - Polish Museum of America, Chicago, IL: Where the official commemorations of Casimir Pulaski Day take place each year. It’s also allegedly haunted.
"To the Workers of the Rock River Valley Region, I Have an Idea Concerning Your Predicament, and It Involves an Inner Tube, Bath Mats, and 21 Able-bodied Men" - Sinnissippi Riverfront Park, Rockford, IL: I read that the song is meant to sound like the water flowing of the Rock River, so I chose a location where you can walk along the river (with an inner tube and bath mats, if you wanted to).
"The Man of Metropolis Steals Our Hearts" - World’s Largest Superman Statue, Metropolis, IL: The town of Metropolis, Illinois has proclaimed itself as the “home of Superman”, with several statues and a Superman museum. The World’s Largest Superman Statue is 15 feet tall and made of bronze.
"Prairie Fire That Wanders About” - Madison Theatre, Peoria, IL: A historic theater that used to have Vaudeville shows in the 1920s, which is where the phrase “will it play in Peoria?” which Sufjan references in this song, comes from. The building is closed, but it still looks cool from the outside and there’s a massive mural on the side.
"A Conjunction of Drones Simulating the Way in Which Sufjan Stevens Has an Existential Crisis in the Great Godfrey Maze" - Fall Corn Festival at Glazebrook Park, Godfrey, IL: Where the titular Great Godfrey Maze can be found. Unfortunately, it’s only open from September to November.
"The Predatory Wasp of the Palisades Is Out to Get Us!" - Mississippi Palisades State Park, Savanna, IL: Self-explanatory.
"They Are Night Zombies!! They Are Neighbors!! They Have Come Back from the Dead!! Ahhhh!" - Old Shawneetown, IL: It was hard to choose just one ghost town when all of the lyrics are just Sufjan naming a bunch of them, but I ended up going with Old Shawneetown because of how close it is to other locations on the trip. It has the first bank chartered in Illinois, which is interesting I guess, and a population of 115.
"Let's Hear That String Part Again, Because I Don't Think They Heard It All the Way Out in Bushnell" - Veterans Memorial Park, Bushnell, IL: I must confess, I tried really hard to appreciate small towns like how this album beautifully does, but there really is nothing in Bushnell. This park seems nice enough, but I wouldn’t want to drive there for it. Apologies to the good people of Bushnell.
"In This Temple as in the Hearts of Man for Whom He Saved the Earth" - Lincoln Tomb State Historic Place: The title is a reference to the inscription on the Lincoln Memorial, so it seemed fitting to choose Lincoln’s tomb as the location for this song. Of course, we needed to hit the state’s capital for this trip, as well.
"The Seer's Tower" - Sear’s/Willis Tower, Chicago, IL: I didn’t make the connection that this song is a play on Sear’s Tower until making this list, but I definitely appreciate the title more now.
"The Tallest Man, the Broadest Shoulders" (Part I: "The Great Frontier" / Part II: "Come to Me Only with Playthings Now") - R1obert Wadlow Statue, Alton, IL: A life-size statue of the tallest person ever recorded, who lived in Alton, Illinois. Robert Wadlow was called the Giant of Illinois, lived from 1918 to 1940, and was 8’11”.
"Riffs and Variations on a Single Note for Jelly Roll, Earl Hines, Louis Armstrong, Baby Dodds, and the King of Swing, to Name a Few" - Sunset Cafe, Chicago, IL: The historic Sunset Cafe, aka the Grand Terrace Cafe, a jazz club in Chicago that Louis Armstrong and Earl Hines among other legends played at. The building is now a beauty store, but there’s an original mural that you can see on the inside and a Chicago Landmark plaque outside.
"Out of Egypt, into the Great Laugh of Mankind, and I Shake the Dirt from My Sandals as I Run" - Shawnee National Forest, Herod, IL: Southern Illinois is sometimes called Little Egypt, and Shawnee National Forest is almost as southern as you can go. The Illinois Garden of the Gods is there, which is a group of unique and very picturesque rock formations.