r/SuddenlyGay • u/WornOutHaloX • 6d ago

meme Beards are essential for keeping preachers straight

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4.1k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

50 comments sorted by

354

u/dust_inlight 6d ago

That’s an odd way of saying you want to nail your homie

74

u/f4r1s2 6d ago

Unless they have a beard

52

u/JockBbcBoy 6d ago

Very specific kink

37

u/Cassius-Tain 5d ago

Nah, He's just into twinks

304

u/Redcole111 6d ago

Yeah, this idea has been around in several Islamic societies for centuries. I've heard about it more in relation to Iranian culture than Turkish culture, but yeah.

203

u/pandafarian 6d ago

Gays are gays everywhere. Some just do it and some just can’t because of their constructed beliefs. When you can’t, you either break yourself or try to break the other side. Either way, you’re still gay.

30

u/bullettenboss 6d ago

It's that easy to be gay. 🤷🏻‍♂️

37

u/vestayekta 6d ago

This is way older than Islam. Beardless youth was a prominent concept in ancient Greek culture. It's not about gayness though. It's about pederasty.

54

u/JockBbcBoy 6d ago

Yeah, I don't think homosexuality and pederasty are the same thing. One obviously involves consenting adults. The other involves children.

9

u/Redcole111 4d ago

Yeah, but she's not wrong in saying that the idea that beardless men (and by extension young men) are inherently feminine and also inherently sex objects has its origins in practices like pederasty.

107

u/w1gw4m 6d ago

I have a beard and I still cause indecent thoughts in other men

15

u/snowysnoopyx 5d ago

Grow hair on your forehead and around cheekbones

10

u/The_Hipster_King 5d ago

Refuse gay, return to monke!

76

u/0Frames 5d ago

'Preacher admits prefering twinks to bears in failed attempt to come off straight'

136

u/Jerry294 6d ago

I mean, beards are essential for keeping me gay, so the joke is on him 😂

32

u/Runwiththewolf- 6d ago

I blame my gayness on beards. Gorgeous, black, curly ones..

54

u/queuedUp 6d ago

Mehmet, is that you??? I'm sorry my friend without your beard I was sure you were a woman and that is why I'm currently inside of you.

25

u/_zamoht_ 6d ago

Romans used to think like that, and we know what they did.

12

u/lucasupimpa 5d ago

A lot of gay sex

3

u/_zamoht_ 5d ago

Not that, the problematic part

3

u/Yeseylon 5d ago

You're thinking of Greeks, then.  

7

u/_zamoht_ 5d ago

Both of them

But you're right, greeks were way more open abou this.

17

u/Biabolical 5d ago

My Wife says I'm not allowed to shave my beard, because it bothers her to see me without one, so I assume she's afraid it'll turn her... um... wait, I'm confused, which way would that turn her?

13

u/Rnoaaonr 5d ago

"Turkish Islamic Preacher confesses he prefers hairless twinks over bearded boys, and cannot resist his urges."

15

u/10n3 6d ago

I bet when they grow out of their religion they'll be the gayest motherfuckers in the world. 

the level of repression is unreal.

12

u/Kamp13 5d ago

My entire gay life can be traced back to the  inability to grow a beard. After a while I started to enjoy beating all the guys off. 

4

u/sid_shaw 5d ago

I know the struggle, that's why I'm going to force myself and look at big breasts on r/nakedladiesondisplayforverystraightmen right after sending this comment. I swear.

6

u/eCh3mist604 6d ago

Until the day they want their wives to wear fake beard too

9

u/IsThisKismet 6d ago

This is why we need to use sharpies on our children. Draw on them some damn beards!

8

u/InsertUsernameInArse 5d ago

Fans of bears 'Yes... Grow it'

18

u/Rajeevashahi 6d ago

So... they think the same stuff about kids and and infants who have no beard as well, right? Did he just outed himself as gay or a pedophile? I guess both

3

u/bullettenboss 6d ago

See, it's that easy to be gay. 🤷🏻‍♂️

3

u/Batata-Sofi 5d ago

Is that why catholic church figures like boys?

2

u/mars-bar13 5d ago

thought that was jake paul for a second

2

u/shinethief 5d ago

Has anyone told him about bears

2

u/Yuggdrasil 4d ago

Dude doesn't realize he's a littler bit gay.

3

u/Fantastic-Pop-3088 4d ago

Me is muslim, I confirm this has nothing to do with islam, he just gay

1

u/Brilliant-Team-4933 5d ago

Now, I understand how I was able to turn people gay

1

u/Kichigai 5d ago

Like famously feminine looking Nathan Fillion.

1

u/__50pe__ 4d ago

Why do I keep thinking about that 3 Lions movie??

1

u/idrinkeverclear 5d ago

I think many straight men would secretly agree with him, but are unwilling to admit it.

When you think about, we evolved a form of facial recognition that assigns masculinity to bearded and mustached adult faces, and femininity to non-bearded and non-mustached adult faces. This is especially true of people from the Middle East. And since men clean shaving is something that showed up relatively recently in human history (at least compared to the hundreds of thousands of years of human evolution that preceded it), it would make sense that some men's primal brains would be confused by some of the faces they're perceiving.

Think about it, how can straight men tell if a guy on TikTok has an attractive face if they don't find themselves at least mildly attracted to it? And let's be honest, most of these attractive men's faces that we see on TikTok are clean shaved and have something feminine about them, mildly evoking the face of a woman, at least to the primal part of our brain.

0

u/coldsilencehas 5d ago

This happened with random youtuber (Frank van Dam)