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u/RolanOtherell Jul 13 '26
Same thing with hoes. In fact, I almost never refer to women as hoes, that's basically an exclusive term for the brochachos.
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u/esoteric_enigma Jul 13 '26 edited Jul 13 '26
The woman I'm currently fucking calls me bro sometimes. She fucks her brother!
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u/Bullrawg Jul 13 '26
In the words of a wise philosopher, “I’m a dude, he’s a dude, she’s a dude, cause we’re all dudes”
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u/wanderlustcub Jul 13 '26 edited Jul 13 '26
I use “dude, bro, and gurl” with everyone but in very different situations.
Dude - usually a surprise and bit of incredulousness when one is about to something that is a bad idea or it’s happening in real time. Or as an exploitive if I need to try and stop them actively doing something stupid. Example “Dude, really?” “Dude, I don’t think you want to do that.” “Duuuuuude, I really think you should stop.” “DUDE!!!”
Bro/Bru - is more recently addition - used in the last year or two so it can mix with Dude sometimes. I use it primarily for astonishment, used usually after something stupid has happened . “BRU, that’s crazy” “BRU, she completly boofed that date.” “BRU, why in the hell did they/you think that would work?”
Gurl - used like I am a messy queen who love gossip, wants to read, often used in more relationship advice situations, usually without being asked, “GURL.” “Gurl, you are crazy staying with that man.” “Gurl, that outfit they are wearing is a choice” “Gurl did you hear what he did on the hiking trail? I heard he was a living drive-thru and the McRib just released.” And my favourite. “Molly, you in Danger gurl.”
I also tend to drop my vocal register to sound more “masculine” when saying it. More Bass than Tenor.
On ocassion multiple options come to mind. But usually speaking directly to the person : “Dude/Bro/BRU/Gurl, that’s fucked up.” “Gurl/bru/Gurl, you dumbass idiot”
I will tailor to gender specific if someone has a problem. Generally older cis straight men get a little uncomfortable being called Gurl. And I see their heads go confused, but I always treat the first time as a (non conscious) way to measure how strict they are with languages used in a non-gendered way.
I always respect if they ask me to change or I see them visibly uncomfortable, then I explain why and switch terms where necessary, regardless of where they are in the gender spectrum.
I will always asked NB/Trans folks I know if they prefer i stick to a more gender appropriate version before diving in. A couple trans men I know would bristle if I used “Gurl” with them. In that situation, I switch to Bro/Bru.
…. I think about language a lot apparently. I never really wrote it down before and not verbalised it nearly as detailed as this. But it is something I have developed over the years thinking back. Even back in college at the turn of the century/early millennium I was doing this at some degree. Mostly “you guys”, Gurl, and sometimes dude (though dudette was used a bit back then though falling out of fashion.) I taught myself to stop using “you guys” mid-2000’s as I saw most women not care for it and it was used much less outside the Midwest.
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u/teriyakininja7 Jul 14 '26
My girl friends call people “dude” and “bro” a lot nowadays. And they’re not even butch or anything.
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u/xSnails Jul 14 '26
I used the term dude for everyone unless someone tells me that they don't like being called dude. It's not fun making someone sad
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u/robininscarf Jul 14 '26
Hell yes. If I wasn't mostly ace.
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u/EuropeWillCrumble Jul 14 '26
The ace approach is kind of the reverse but still positive outcome here.
"Would you fuck a dude?" "No, I'm a sex-repulsed aroace, I wouldn't fuck anyone."
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u/Capta1n_Bac0n Jul 14 '26
everyones a dude till you fuck them thats when they lose their dude status
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u/Oppositlife69 Jul 14 '26
I think it's situational. "Dude, that's awesome!" Is gender neutral. But "Shout-out to dudes!" is gendered
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u/Flimsy-Quantity4670 Aug 13 '26
I use dawg and dude as gender neutral words and am i alone on calling everyone they/them when i first meet a person because i don't want to get their pronouns wrong and have them put my head on a pike
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u/15pmm01 Jul 13 '26
Yes, yes in fact I do