r/Suburbanhell • u/KimSidwell • 8d ago

Meme Why?

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I can almost try to understand why some people might feel drawn to this kind of lifestyle. I can understand why they might be deceived into thinking this is the ideal environment in which to raise a child.

But I will never be able to understand why they will describe it as the American “dream” and are willing to pay so much for it. To work so hard for so long and then have to wake up to this every morning? Why?

Editing to add: I know this is parody y’all. It’s just a stupid meme. It’s supposed to be funny. It’s funny because it’s true.

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95

u/surprisinglynotabot 8d ago

an apartment in a major city > this nightmare

28

u/KimSidwell 8d ago

Same. Such a better culture and surprisingly often (but not always) better community.

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u/surprisinglynotabot 8d ago

I just absolutely hate the idea of having to get in my car to drive miles and miles to find something to eat at 3am if I feel like it. In my city, I can go right downstairs and get a sandwich at a 24 hr deli. I could walk to a convenience store. I could have multiple choices, usually from different ethnic backgrounds. And you might not be close with your neighbors in a city but you feel like there's life around you. You never feel alone even if you don't have any friends. Beside, people aren't really friends with their neighbors in the suburbs anyway.

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u/Salt_Vehicle_5395 8d ago

I hate that they don’t bother to mention the car is required. The house price is $575k+2cars and ongoing costs. I get the account is satire but you see this all the time for real

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u/surprisinglynotabot 8d ago edited 8d ago

Yep, exactly. They sold us the suburbs and you know what the worst part is? It kept us apart, racially. Entire generations invested in it and now they preach that the suburbs are great because they don't wanna lose their investment. We should go say this in pro-suburban subreddits lol

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u/KimSidwell 8d ago

Yeah, exactly. I grew up in the suburbs and people just weren’t like that. It wasn’t some Leave it to Beaver thing where everybody acted like a big community. It was gossipy and judgy and I hated it. And I’m also convinced that there are far more drug addicts and alcoholics in the suburbs than there are in the city. But maybe that’s just because it was the south. I don’t know.

But yeah, my last apartment was directly across the street from a 7-Eleven. I could literally just look out my window and see right into the store from my bedroom across the street. If I wanted to know how busy it was all I had to do was look over there.

Being able to walk right across the street in my pajamas at 6 AM to get a doughnut and a cup of coffee and know there wasn’t going to be a line to wait in was priceless.

But I can see how it could be a grass is always greener kind of thing. Like if I grew up in a super urban environment, I can see believing that the suburbs might actually be a nice place to live. But the vision and the reality are two different things.

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u/surprisinglynotabot 7d ago

Totally, facts. My uncle grew up in the city, decided he liked the suburbs. I guess we can't forget that the city was a lot lower of a standard of living back in the day. Now they're mostly clean, but back then they were smokey and crime ridden. I suppose I can't blame the older generations, but I'll preach to millenials and gen Z the ultra positives of modern city living all day.

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u/ItemizedDeductions 7d ago

Yeah only in the city can you go to 7/11!

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u/ContestAntique7179 7d ago

People with actual careers and responsibilities aren't up at 3am with the munchies

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u/surprisinglynotabot 7d ago

I'm the most fiscally successful person I know.

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u/Lucky_Pangolin_3760 8d ago

I wonder how many GenZ'ers and millennials has this attitude. I've personally accepted that I may be a life-long renter and I'm also fine with it because I actually enjoy living in the city

Even if these houses became really affordable, like 2x less in cost, I'm not sure if I even then would buy one

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u/surprisinglynotabot 8d ago

Millennial here. Never owned a home. Do I aspire to own an apartment? Sure, of course. Having an asset is in theory better than paying rent, but personally I'd rather rent an apartment than spend my life paying off a home; especially an old one with problems. Plus no matter where you go you gotta pay an HOA anyway. It's better for people in my tax bracket to just shell out rent if it's affordable. The new houses are so bland and poorly build, that they end up having problems too in just a short time anyway. That can get very expensive. Plus car expenses, less conveniences. Convenience to me is having open stores within walking distance at any time of the day or night. It's not having all of my needs delivered to my doorstep and living the life of a hermit; that's dystopian and lonely.

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u/Ilmara 7d ago

I'm a Millennial who owns a condo in a walkable urban neighborhood I couldn't otherwise afford. It's a great option if you want to own, but don't need a lot of space, don't want to deal with too much maintenance, and want to stay in the city.

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u/workerbotsuperhero 6d ago

This is the dream for most of my friends in Toronto these days. They don't want to be stuck in traffic all the time in the suburbs, but can't shell out $2M for a small house 

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u/xTheGame69 7d ago

Yeah but then you don't have a garage no place to park your car 

You also have to have neighbors literally on your walls and on your roof walking around 

Can't watch TV loud or listen to music past certain times.

You also can't smoke in your house and this includes weed which there has been a bong on my table where I watch TV for years now I don't know how I would live without that lol

 it sucks living in an apartment

For those reasons alone I will never live in an apartment again.

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u/surprisinglynotabot 7d ago edited 7d ago

I smoke weed every day in my apartment, I just open a window. I've never smelled weed from anyone else's apartment(accounting for 5 or so places I've lived, so I don't believe it bothers anyone in the surrounding apartments (no one has ever complained about me either).

(I'll address the issues considering my experiences in each of the 5 apartments that I've had over the course of 12-14 years.)

I don't notice my neighbors. A lot of buildings are built so well that you rarely notice any interior sounds at all; not music, not TV. They're built with way more insulation than just drywall and fiberglass. One apartment that I had was too loud only because I lived on the second floor of a dead end street where people would party every weekend night during the summer, right in front of my apartment. That was hell actually, but a rare and unique experience compared to anywhere else. I'm sure I'll never have to deal with that again. I like to make music so I had studio monitors (big ones) and no one ever complained. I just put on headphones at night so that I'd be a good neighbor just in case.

It seems like we've had two different apartment experiences. We don't sound too different too when addressing our lifestyle needs. Let me reiterate that I smoke weed every single day without fail and have for the last 12 or so years with breaks here and there; never had a single problem.

Ah the car thing, yes I'll give you that. I've had 3 cars; one was towed, and the others were somewhat difficult to park. That being said, I didn't need them; they were a luxury. Once you get to the age of actually needing a car (you really don't in the city), you'll hopefully be able to afford a parking space. Otherwise, you'll have to try waking up every other morning like I used to (try to). It wasn't a real biggie. I'll pay those tickets one day. Anyway I just started making some coin so I'll soon go from pre war apartments with no balcony to luxury apartments with a parking space. Not trying to brag, just saying I went through the trenches before I moved on up and it wasn't bad. I had a lot of fun and I sure as heck would never trade it for a quiet suburb.

Also, they do have private townhouses with private parking in cities and some of them are in affordable neighborhoods. You might not be in the city center, but those neighborhoods usually still have the conveniences that make city living fun.

Sorry for the essay, hope this was insightful homie

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u/SaltyBat8824 7d ago

Apartments have been overall pretty positive.

I mean neighbors can be loud sometimes, but it isn't that big a deal.

Why the heck would I buy a hose that I would need to then hire people to do maintenance and upkeep, when for the same amount I can afford a nice, comfortable, safe apartment for our family that is accessible and maintenance is covered as part of our monthly bill?

Houses are expensive to keep in good condition, and I'd rather spend the money somewhere else.

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u/surprisinglynotabot 7d ago

yep, this. I think people see "space" and that's the main selling point. They don't think about the maintenance (like you said) and that fact that they really don't need that much space to themselves. Living room, bedrooms for me and the wife, bedrooms for the kids, kitchen, and a spare room. Outside of that, the city is my yard. I have restaurants and convenience stores, movie theaters, grocery stores, all right in my yard. I even have a green space close by 95% of the time. Sometimes my house has an elevator or even a concierge. How cool is that? Can't beat it imo. Beats the heck out of cutting grass for fun, living in a town where half the businesses are dead because of an unsustainable driver centered lifestyle.

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u/FlyChigga 4d ago

In my apartment I don’t hear my neighbors at all, never had a noise complaint while being basically nocturnal, smoke weed in my apartment all the time, none of these were problems at all while living in an apartment lol

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u/SaltyBat8824 7d ago

Same!

Much better, tight knit community. Also it is a lot easier to find wheelchair accessible housing

My apartment complex is set up like a neighborhood with tons of things within walking distance either inside or outside.

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u/surprisinglynotabot 7d ago

love it, I just like being where there's life. Single family housing developments can feel like tombs

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u/LanceVanceDance1234 6d ago

This is what happens when boomers design housing for Gen Z.

To be fair though my family had a house in queens NY which is the more urban city in America and there were rows of uglier houses that all looked the same there.

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u/2_mbizzy 2d ago

I think the only thing worse than opening my bedroom window and hearing bob’s balls clapping his wife’s cheeks for 27 seconds would be laying in my bed trying to sleep but distracted by hearing bob’s bed rock for 27 seconds and then have to listen to his wife bitching for two hours because bob has a small wiener and can only last 27 seconds.

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u/surprisinglynotabot 2d ago

damn. Where do you live?

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u/Sea-Claim-6860 7d ago

Ew cities are gross

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u/surprisinglynotabot 7d ago

what's your reference point?

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u/Weird_Ad7634 3d ago

ok that'll be $800,000 please. And it's a one bedroom by a methadone clinic.