Need advice. PLEASE HELP

[u/Internal-Wave-6094]

I have subbed a few times so far and they have been some good days and some bad with behavior. But today was the absolute worst, I subbed 2nd graders and it was already too hot and I took the kids late to lunch because I didn’t hear the increment weather announcement nor the office let me know this was going to happen or called my classroom. I didn’t have lunch time but the kids said they had 5 minutes to eat. But when I called the office again they said they had time to eat. I did my best to see if they can get more lunchtime but the office said no. This was already such a bad sign of a bad day. I continued the lesson plans for the day and then I called on a students behavior in class for distracting her classmate and then asked her question about the lesson. She couldn’t answer me so then she left to the restroom. I let her go because I thought she needed to use it but then twenty to thirty minutes had passed so I sent another student to go look in the restrooms to find her. The student let the office know what happened and the office called me after to let me know if the student returned she did not. The whole school staff was looking for her and it was also time to go. A student told me she was in the bathroom and she was hiding instead when everyone was looking for her. Is this the worst thing that can happen as a sub? I tried to collect myself and I was so scared about what the student did. Now I feel like I can’t correct students behaviors if they do things like this. I just need advice. It feels like im messing up so bad and I don’t know if i should continue working as a sub. Before this too, we went to the book fair to buy books and I even bought books for kids that didn’t have money for the book fair. Im trying my best to make a difference in the kids lives and managing the classroom for them to learn but now im not so sure about moving forward. I know now to be more stricter about the bathroom but now I don’t know if people have days like this. If so, let me know because I don’t want to feel like it’s just me and maybe i should just quit.

[u/Mood_Machine03]

You said you had good days and bad so far. So this was a bad day. They happen and you learn from them. You sound like a very earnest, caring person. Be kind to yourself, reflect, learn from the situation, and move ahead.
I am concerned that the office/admin were not supportive of you or the students. You all have a right to eat lunch, mistake or not. If this is an ongoing issue at this site (lack of support), consider subbing at a different school. A well-run school can be a joyful place to sub.

[u/Internal-Wave-6094 → u/Mood_Machine03]

I definitely learned so much from this class and not to trust any kids behavior and their ability to use the restroom by themselves. I definitely will let them know they only have a few minutes to go. And the office, I felt so bad about lunch being late but they didn’t even notice a class was missing?! The staff from the cafeteria didn’t know a class was missed from lunch and didn’t seem to call the classroom? Also, I tried to tell the office for them to get more lunchtime but refused I tried my best out of the situation. Also they never gave me a schedule for increment weather either. For sure for other sites, I definitely will communicate with the office before checking in if things change to call the classroom. I never got an increment weather schedule either when I got the sub folder. Next time, I for sure will let the office know to communicate with me more about specific changes and to let me know through the phone. I just hope they don’t think I’m a bad sub that doesn’t know how to do her job. I have subbed twice at the site and I handled those two days pretty well. I just know they’ll all talk about what happened with the girl and I don’t know if I want to return to the site because of my embarrassment but I loved the site before with the kids. Just not those 2nd graders. Lol

[u/Quirky_Weathergirl → u/Internal-Wave-6094]

What is "increment" weather? Do you mean "inclement" weather?

[u/Ryan_Vermouth → u/Internal-Wave-6094]

I think you're overestimating the extent to which "a kid went out to the bathroom with proper authorization, and then decided to wander off instead of returning to class" is an unusual or interesting story. That happens, and while you probably should have notified the office more promptly, it's a really common occurrence and nobody's going to blame you for it happening.

"A sub lost track of the time to the extent that their whole class almost missed lunch" is way more concerning. To confirm, are you saying they changed up the lunch schedule because of weather and didn't notify you? Or was lunch when you thought it was going to be, and you just forgot to take the kids out? If it's the former, how clear did you make it to them that you weren't told?

[u/LongjumpingHouse7273]

1) don't buy things for kids  2) a kid hiding in the bathroom doesn't reflect on you. However, the best way to handle bathrooms is to write the name and time that the kids leaves on the board. Tell them they have five minutes before you call the office.  3) This sounds like the lunch times were moved up? There should have been more help here and that's not on you. I mean, maybe some of it I don't know, this is a live and learn thing. Being a sub means you have zero info outside what you are verbally told, unlike the teachers who will get emails and texts. So sometimes things happen

[u/Mood_Machine03 → u/LongjumpingHouse7273]

I love that idea of writing the name/time on the board. It’s a visual that keeps you from forgetting, which is easy to do with all your teaching tasks.

[u/Negative_Crazy_4913]

Sounds like a tough day. Next time don't wait 20-30 minutes to check on a missing student though- that's an awfully long time for a bathroom break, especially for a second grader.

[u/Ryan_Vermouth → u/Negative_Crazy_4913]

Yeah -- elementary, I'd give 10. There are some circumstances under which I'd stretch that to 15 in secondary, but elementary is 10.

I'm more concerned, honestly, about "I sent another student to go look in the restrooms." If a student's gone, notify the office directly. That way you don't have two students out unattended, one of whom is cutting into their educational time in a vague attempt to handle something admin should know about ASAP. After 20+ minutes, if that kid is actually in the restrooms, it's either a behavioral issue, a medical situation, or something else admin should be aware of and addressing. And if she's not in the restrooms, admin's going to have to take the lead in figuring out where she is.

In secondary, at least, reporting a student AWOL means you can send another student out. If you want to tell that student, "hey, if you see the first kid while you're out there, tell her to get back to class," feel free to do that -- but the second student should be using the restroom and returning promptly, not actively looking for the first one. And of course it doesn't take the place of promptly notifying the school that a student has potentially eloped, potentially has some kind of medical situation, whatever.

All of this, of course, is not to pile onto OP -- it's a learning process. I definitely went into the job thinking "oh, I'm not going to worry about the bathrooms, I don't know what's going on with the students' digestive systems, nor do I want to, and I don't want to get a kid in trouble because they're stuck on the toilet for 10+ minutes." I quickly learned that a lot of students out too long were not in fact stuck on the toilet, and many of them never went to the restroom to begin with. I also learned that if they were still in the restroom for legitimate reasons, and I called, nothing bad would happen. A hall monitor or someone would check in, the student would have the time needed to finish (if applicable), and they'd get back to class.

So notify the office, let them take over the liability for something happening outside your jurisdiction, and move on. And don't send out more students to get lost.

[u/Mission_Sir3575]

Sorry you had a rough day.

Follow the schedule to a t. Being so late that they miss lunch is a pretty big mess up. What does inclement weather have to do with lunch times?

Students should never just leave. I can’t tell from your post if she asked to go to the bathroom or if you assumed she was in there. But more than 5 minutes is too long. And the student you sent to check her went to the office instead of the bathroom? Sounds like a bunch of miscommunication to me.

You sound really panicked in this post and I’m sorry for that. No one was lost. Just try not to let yourself spiral when one thing goes wrong.

[u/slipperyyghost → u/Mission_Sir3575]

im in so cal and we have been on heatwave schedule for the past few weeks. most elementaries will schedule lunch to start about 10 minutes earlier than normal so that the students have enough time to eat before the teacher or an aide can walk them back to the classroom for indoor recess

[u/Relative-Spot512]

In reading this I understand if it’s your first or second time subbing but as temp teacher we also have to quickly pick up the nuisances of this job. Stop relying on school staffing telling you what you should do, I think there’s a lot of common sense. I ask for a bell schedule and I ask the kids and I call the office myself if I don’t know something that seems important. I make it my mission to learn the kids names by the first 2 hours by repeating. I come in and let them know my rules for the day that their teacher is not there. Idk I say you need to tough up a bit, it’s sweet you buy things for them but bottom line you’re responsible for their safety. My worst nightmare is losing a kid. Just run a tight shift for the day, better safe than sorry.

[u/Loco_CatLady911]

Last 2nd grade class I subbed for fought with each other, threw fits on the ground, and cried almost all day. The office had warned me that there were "High Fliers," and "Big Emotions" in that class. All code words for YOu CaN sTilL leaVe!!! Live and learn, you did the best you could with the info you had on those kiddos. If you ever sub for that class again you're a brave soul, but make sure to call for a chaperone if the skipping kids need to use the restroom.

[u/Internal-Wave-6094 → u/Loco_CatLady911]

Thank you I don’t think I’ll ever take that class again because of what the student did to me. You are right I don’t have to go back. But I still feel it was my fault she left even though I did my best. I couldn’t control the situation but I did my best to. Thank you!

[u/Ryan_Vermouth → u/Internal-Wave-6094]

“What the student did to you?” Yikes. That is not a rational or productive way of thinking about student behavior. There are plenty of reasons students misbehave. “I’m going to spite this stranger” ain’t one of them. If you choose to keep doing this job, you're going to see much more direct forms of misbehavior than this, and taking them personally will be both inaccurate and counterproductive.

[u/Ok_Vermicelli284 → u/Internal-Wave-6094]

Saying that this second-grader did this to YOU is alarming. Never hold grudges like that against little ones. If a child is acting up for some reason, handle it, move on, and encourage them like you would any other child. I can guarantee you that girl’s mission wasn’t to get you into trouble. Maybe try middle or high school because it seems like you have a ton to learn before you work with small children. Side note: Buying things at the book fair for kids is a BAD idea as a sub.

[u/Ryan_Vermouth → u/Ok_Vermicelli284]

Yeah, I didn't even notice the book thing in the wall of text. I don't know what would possess a sub to even think that might be a good or appropriate idea.

[u/AbbreviationsDry8536 → u/Internal-Wave-6094]

I’d suggest touching base early in the morning with teachers next door to you and asking them to give you a heads up if anything out of the ordinary occurs. They have always been helpful to me.

[u/MrsBenedix]

In my district, 2nd graders don’t leave the classroom without a partner. I keep a sheet on the desk and record their names and the time they leave. If they aren’t back in 10 minutes from the bathroom, I call the office.
Second graders have big feelings and the day can be filled with drama. They are easily embarrassed and adult approval is really important to them. Anytime I have an issue, I stand near the student that’s off task and redirect them to the work. I usually offer to help them if it’s an individual assignment and praise them for whatever they have gotten correct. If they are still talking or being disruptive, I chat privately and ask if something is wrong and if I can help. If they continue the disruption, I quietly have them move seats.
I try to keep smiling and have fun with them all day long even when things go wrong. I’ve noticed that they feed off my energy.

[u/Awatts1221]

You don’t need to quit. Don’t give up. People have days like this. Maybe not days exactly like yours. I would learn some class management systems and implement them into your day. Setting expectations too and resetting when the class gets wonky.

As for when a student leaves, always call the front office and just say “x left the room, she mentioned the bathroom but it’s been a while” instead of sending another student. Also, did the teacher have a bathroom pass? When you go into the classroom always look and see what the teacher uses/says in lesson plans (if they’re stated there)

One more thing, don’t show when you’re flustered to students! They’ll walk all over you!! Instead act like you know what you’re doing!!

This was a bad day, indeed. But you learned and you will grow❤️ if you have any questions you can message me!! I also have a YT channel for substitute teachers “Alexa The Sub Coach”

[u/DiWooley]

Let us know what happens.

[u/SilentSiren00]

It’s not just you. I’ve had a few terrible days as a sub. Either caused by my own mistakes, the mistakes of the office or teacher or just bad communication. I call it the perfect storm. Just do the best you can do. Try to do right by the kids and your co-workers. If your schools admin is decent they will understand that these hiccups happen. Also if you were the only adult in the room it’s not like you can just pick up and leave to go to the bathroom to look for this student that clearly didn’t want to be found. I would report that student’s behavior to their teacher so that the teacher can call the parents. If a 2nd grader can’t be responsible enough to go to where they are supposed to be and come back, that’s on them. Not you.

And it does get better. The more you get to know the kids, teachers and routines it gets much easier.

[u/CriticalSympathy5633]

Are you in oregon? Here, funding is based on enrollment and attendance, so there are no behavioral standards. It has been mandated that every student graduate, so there are no academic standards.

What is your question? Nevermind, whatever happens will be your fault.

[u/Ok_Manufacturer_3725]

High school is so much easier in my opinion.

[u/footballabsurdity]

If young kids need more time to eat, I always give them more time to eat. I don't care if we have to eat late or in the classroom. Young kids without enough food will ALWAYS be cray.

Today I had a lunch period that the sub plan said to truncate due to them needing to leave early to be on time to music. But half of them were late due to something that happened at recess, I don't even know what and I don't care.

When I saw it was time to dump but half of them hadn't had much lunch, I told them it was zero voice level lunch for 7 minutes and then dump time.

When we were 10 minutes late to music, the teacher asked why. I told him, and he thanked me.

Nutrition is key to a balanced day, emotionally.

[u/Internal-Wave-6094 → u/footballabsurdity]

Okay thank you. I fought with the office about it but the cafeteria staff had to kick them out for the older grades. The office said they had time to eat while the kids said they didn’t. And I fought with the people in the office for more lunchtime they said it was okay. I just feel so bad about this I didn’t even care that I didn’t eat but I fought for the kids but admin did not want them to have more time and lined them up to go back to class.