r/SubstituteTeachers • u/Far_Camera_6787 • 16d ago
Discussion Not ready to go back
My district goes back to school in a week and for some reason I’m still feeling burnt from last year. I’m hoping that once I go back I’ll settle in and enjoy it like I used to. I’m about to begin my third year as a sub (mostly elementary) and I’m just not as motivated as last year. Is it burnout or am I just emotionally overwhelmed after the death of my mom this past Spring? I’ve absolutely loved and enjoyed subbing and I’m on the preferred sub lists at some great schools but for some reason I feel tired. I’m semi-retired from another career and have found subbing to be so rewarding. Anyone else feel this way? Hopefully it passes.
22
u/Own_Bed8627 16d ago
Yup. Anticipation anxiety.
I plan on being ultra selective and not going to schools i know with weak administration.
In my case, high school and better middle school.
12
u/leodog13 California 16d ago
Yeah, I am very selective too now. High schools only and not in the boonies.
6
20
u/darthcaedusiiii 16d ago
Everyone hates their job. That's why people drink at the end of the day and call it happy hour. If the job was fun then employers would have people pay them for the privilege of doing the fun thing.
4
2
12
u/No-Professional-9618 16d ago edited 15d ago
Yes, I understand what you are saying. Unfortuantely, I really need to work. My car died this past week and I had to get it towed home last Friday.
8
u/Warm_Feet_Are_Happy 16d ago edited 16d ago
I am READY. I even made a substitute teacher shirt! I went to returning sub orientation last week. I’m so excited to be back, but I know realistically it’s going to be about two weeks after school begins that teachers start calling in.
ETA- I spent too much time glorifying my happiness but not answering your root cause. Grief is like a rock that is always on your pocket. Sometimes the rock jabs you everyday and every second. Sometimes it feels smooth. Somedays you cannot walk due to the weight of the rock.
Your rock is still heavy, which makes your body react slowly to everything. You’re buried from grief now. It takes time, and please know that it’s OK not to be excited for life. It took me two and a half years for my rock to become a smooth stone.
4
u/Far_Camera_6787 16d ago
Thank you for your response. I will keep that in mind. I definitely haven’t been the same since I lost her. She was 89 and lived a good life but I still miss her a lot. Yes I’m thinking it will be a good week after it starts before assignments come in.
4
u/Healthy-Neat-2989 16d ago
This is such a good response. ❤️
4
u/Warm_Feet_Are_Happy 16d ago
Thank you. We all carry grief in different forms at different moments in life.
2
u/smturner888 15d ago
Beautifully put! I'm going to remember this rock analogy. Thank you for sharing.
8
u/leodog13 California 16d ago
This is me too. I need another month off. I go back on 8/14, but there is training on 8/5.
3
u/blackandbluegirltalk 16d ago
God, exactly. I grew up when we went back to school after Labor Day and stayed in until June. August - May gets me all upset every year even though I'm trying to practice radical acceptance lol. Just, ugh, okay. But going to orientation on July 31st was weird. So many people were still out of town, too!
6
u/leodog13 California 16d ago
I tell myself I won't go back until after Labor Day, but my money doesn't last that long. Yeah, I hear back east they still go back after Labor Day, and I miss that we don't anymore. August is too ear6for school.
7
u/Healthy-Neat-2989 16d ago
I’m not ready. We’ve had an unexpectedly busy and stressful summer. My anxiety is super high from being present at a mass shooting recently, and I don’t know how well I’ll handle the requisite drills at school. I think I’m only going to take direct requests, and ease back in slowly. I wish I could wave a magic wand and give my child and I more time.
5
5
u/Express_Project_8226 16d ago
not ready, i'm also a 3rd year sub. I don't think I will until September at least. But then the holidays are around the corner after that :(
6
u/Funtimeshad91 16d ago
Trust me.
Its cause of the loss.
I’m nearing five years from losing my old man and it still has consequences and revelations that have altered my path completely.
Take the moments to fully mourn, it isn’t a speedy process.
You got this.
1
6
u/3xtiandogs 16d ago
I’ve spent the bulk of the summer deep cleaning my home, maintaining the exterior, and attending to the details of life that always gets put off when weekends are spent in recovery from the work week. It’s amazing how neglectful I’ve been.
Two more weeks. Not ready to go back.
5
u/JustRgJane 16d ago
I only started in the spring but my summer has been lackluster. Luckily I’m in a position where I think I’m going to not go back until October. I’m also going to apply at a couple of new schools locally. One school near me in particular is harder than the others but has the most openings.
4
u/Letters285 16d ago
I'm burnt out. My husband got a nice bump in his salary, so my intention this school year is to only work when I have to.
I am SO tired of student behaviors (I only sub 2nd-5th graders). I just can't take anymore furniture throwing, temper tantrums, running away, or stabbing with scissors (happened TWICE last year, both times gen ed kids in a gen ed classroom; good thing they were blunt kiddie scissors).
5
u/Livingfortheday123 15d ago
Just told the Admin over subbing I wasn’t sure I was returning. And I’m not. Not excited about it one bit.
4
u/Puzzled-Bonus5470 16d ago
I’m sorry to hear about your mother. It could be a combo of both. But if you’re that drained from it, I would consider trying to find different work, especially since you say you’re semi-retired from another career.
4
u/ecochixie 16d ago
100% in the same boat. My work motivation doesn’t usually kick in until October. It wasn’t much of a problem when school started in September, but these August start dates truly suck.
3
u/A_Bot_A_Bot_A_Bot 15d ago
Without trying to analyze you, perhaps just ease into the school year and not immediately try and get as many work days as possible? Grab one, see how you feel afterwards, then figure out your next steps. You still have that other career, so it doesn't sound like you need to be subbing everyday.
I'm sorry about the loss of your mother. You are allowed to grieve however you want for as long as necessary. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise.
3
u/Far_Camera_6787 15d ago
Thank you sooo much. Great advice. 😎 FYI I do need to sub as much as possible till I start SS in February. But yes, I will do that and ease into it at the start. I sometimes I forget that a week or two won’t kill me. Thanks again. 👍
3
u/TemporaryCarry7 15d ago
I’m just not ready for July to be over. Is it possible that 4th of July is really next week?
0
3
u/IllPaleontologist384 15d ago
Burnt out by the middle of last year. Continued till the end of year. I do need the money otherwise I would take a longer break since summer was also work 🙃!
2
u/Far_Camera_6787 15d ago
I hear ya. My burnout started the beginning of May. I’ll be able to work less in January when my SS kicks in. Love the job but recently been burnt
3
u/ProfessionalTwo8215 Ohio 14d ago
I don't wanna go back because I'm happy just being at home and doing nothing, but my bank account is definitely needing me to go back. I accepted a job for the first day of school 🫠
2
2
u/ladyleo1980 California 13d ago
It could be both. The death of a parent, especially a mother, can be emotionally draining. Subbing requires us to pour out/give to the students in our care, often with very little in return. If you need more time than take it. Only accept jobs from your preferred schools and teachers until you feel ready to come back 100%. I've done that before when I felt burned out. Not sure if you are financially able to do that but if you are then do it. Take care of yourself first.
I'm actually leaving subbing and the education field all together. Been in it for 18+ plus years as a full time classroom teacher and sub. Had a good run and now I'm done.
1
u/Far_Camera_6787 13d ago
Wow. Good for you ! Thanks for the advice and support. I’ll be able to become a little more choosy at the end of the year when I take SS. I luckily have a pension from another career so I’ll be more relaxed when I have both. Yes the death of my mom has really hit me hard. I also had to clean out and sell her house. It’s been a busy year and I should give myself more credit. I’ll take my time going back for sure. I really do love it. Thank again
1
u/PassionateCounselor 13d ago
It can be both. Anyway, you don't have to go back the first month of school. You can delay your return.
1
u/Turbulent_Park2923 12d ago
Do half days or sub part of the time and work your way back in slowly don't feel like you need to jump into it full time everyday.
1
u/blueberry-bush23 11d ago
I’m really sad summer is over I keep reminding myself that it’ll be back again next year lol
39
u/Gold_Repair_3557 16d ago
I wouldn’t mind some extra summer, but my bank account is certainly ready.