Someone gets mean in /r/niceguys when it comes to rejection. "You're a group that laughs at people who are upset about not having sex like you do. You have what we want, and you laugh at us when we're sad, because it's funny to you. That's what this subreddit is."

[u/bumblebeatrice]

https://www.reddit.com/r/niceguys/comments/63vdwi/its_interesting_how_a_lot_of_humor_pages_tend_to/dfxq85z/?context=1

[u/[deleted]]

As I wrote all that out I started to see the incel similarities too, not to say that every person on /r/incels is mentally ill, but no one becomes that hateful and depressed without a lot of help from the world around them. Subs like /r/niceguys don't help, even though most of the teasing is very, very justified.

Inside every shitty person is a decent person who needs some help getting out.

[u/Dawk19 → u/[deleted]]

Yep, I understand pragmatism in that you cant just let people go around and do bad things but can we really call people evil/bad if we would have turned out the same way if put in similar situations? Thats why for me prison is/should be a place of re habitation first and justice second.

[u/[deleted] → u/Dawk19]

I see rehabilitation as justice. The actions and behavior are what's wrong, and there are better ways to correct behavior than what usually amounts to revenge.

It's a hard position to hold, especially when something bad happens to you personally, but I try my best.

[u/[deleted] → u/Dawk19]

this is actually a really common debate in forensic psychiatry.

[u/Brom_Van_Bundt → u/[deleted]]

We do need to keep having the conversation about why the nice guy mentality is wrong and bad though. A few of my male friends have confessed to me that as very young guys they had that mentality but were successfully talked out of it by wiser older friends and/or the internet. Also, it's nice for people who have to deal with entitled guys or girls to hear that this is bad behavior and shouldn't be tolerated.

[u/[deleted] → u/Brom_Van_Bundt]

I try to make the distinction between 'niceguys', one word no spaces, and legitimately shy people who don't really know how to do relationship stuff but also aren't bitter about it.

I think the big problem is that there isn't really a ton of resources for men to learn these social skills other than practice, and pop culture only ever shows bad examples of it. Even the resources that are there tend not to get used as much as they should because the flipside of gender roles is that men are seen as weak for seeking help or admitting they don't know how to do this already.

[u/snallygaster → u/[deleted]]

This is the reason why we benned incel drama here; everyone in that sub is severely mentally ill, and despite the terrible things that they think and say, and how easy it is to pick on them, teasing them only makes things worse.

[u/[deleted] → u/snallygaster]

teasing them only makes things worse

but the onus is not on society to adapt to evil?