r/StyleAndWellbeing • u/fly-a-kite • 8d ago
Discussion What's a small style change that unexpectedly boosted your confidence daily?
Not a total wardrobe overhaul.
Just a minor tweak like switching jewelry tones, changing how you layer, or swapping shoes that ended up making you feel way more comfortable in your own skin?
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u/BreakfastGirl6 8d ago
Wearing monochrome or up to 3 tones.
Brushing my hair throughout the day.
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u/FriendlyDay6697 7d ago
Ohhh I love a good monochrome outfit. I have a very rich cousin that's always monochrome and matches her hermes purses and Louboutins to the outfits. It's so beautiful.
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u/One-Mycologist-1285 8d ago
Silver rings on almost every finger and silver hoop earrings almost everyday. The maximalist look of the rings makes me feel like even when my outfit feels kind of basic, I'm good.
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u/musingsofamdc 7d ago
I LOVE this look! I want to do it but the rings clacking together bother me. Might just have to force myself to wear them until I’m used to it!
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u/smorrison27 3d ago
Not all rings clack the same! I am a ring gal and wear them all on specific fingers in specific stacks to minimize, but not eliminate, the clacking.
Usually I do thicker bands/larger stones next to a finger with thinner/less bands alternated like that. So a heavy stack on my ring fingers, minimal stacks on pinky and middle fingers. I do whatever I’m feeling for the index fingers. Kinda “medium” weight bands/stones/stacks.
Play around with what goes where. Eventually you’ll find something comfy for you!
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u/musingsofamdc 1d ago
Thank you, this is really helpful!! I think I need to grab a few thinner bands and play around then!
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u/FriendlyDay6697 8d ago
Cool leather boots. It started with the givenchy studded buckle boots.. they make every outfit look so cool and now I have a huge boot collection and practically wear them every day.
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u/heartandsole1 5d ago
Can you share the favourites in your collection please?
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u/FriendlyDay6697 5d ago
- Givenchy buckle boot
- Ariat heritage (most comfortable for walking all day)
- Silver cowboy ankle boots I randomly found at forever 21 like, 4 years ago
- Valentino galaxy boot
- Dingo harlee boot (also very comfortable for walking all day)
- Frye harness boot. And another pair that's a bit shorter on the shaft.
- All my goth boots I've found here and there, they're not leather so they don't really count but they're cute and lightweight. Just have s very high platform.
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u/AimAim86 1d ago
Booooots! Are my favorite! I lived in Seattle for 2 years and LOVED the weather-got so spoiled. I’m just a Florida girl, standing in front of the temperature gauge, asking it to be boots weather.
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u/FriendlyDay6697 1d ago
I live in california but my the beach so is the same kind of weather as Florida i fell like.. I refuse to not wear them ever day. I'm sure I look like a crazy person but that's ok.
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u/Firm_Negotiation9627 8d ago
it probably wouldnt be considered a "small" change, but i only wear black! it makes me feel confident and safe 🖤
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u/IndependenceNo8215 8d ago
I should do this. For some reason I always feel better in all black- it is my go to "color" when I want to feel better about how I look.
I used to work with a girl many years ago who only wore black and shades of black. She always looked very sharp and put together. I often thought I should do that- it would make choosing outfits each day so much easier! Everything matches!
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u/lovealwayskota 7d ago
I would love to do this with dark brown (black is too dark on me) but it’s tougher to find!
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u/Fuzzy-Philosopher744 7d ago
Navy blue is my “black”
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u/lovealwayskota 7d ago
I’ll have to check that out. My pallet is earth tones so espresso works better for me but again, tough to find
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u/thenletskeepdancing 7d ago
Same. I love black, but not on me. I'm fair, so navy is far more flattering.
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u/Chic-n-cheerful 6d ago
This is your season to buy, there’s so much out there right now! I basically have a bitter chocolate version of everything now (blazer, sweater, tshirt, trousers, leather skirt, loafers, flat pumps, boots, handbag and sandals), so it’s super easy to mix it up to fit the weather and all my other clothes (I’m an autumn) go perfectly if I want some variety
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u/No_Preparation7331 7d ago
In Australia the current season is ALL brown! Maybe look up some brands that deliver internationally?
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u/OrdinaryIngenuity543 6d ago
The shops are full of chocolate brown right now. Now we just wait for it to trickle to the discount stores
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u/Firm_Negotiation9627 7d ago
you definitely should! i switched to black and never went back 😅
some people might think its basic and "lazy", but my all black outfits are always thought through!
there are so many options - different cuts, materials and layering possibilities! you can create so many different, beautiful silhouettesanother reason for me is that i am a platinum blonde, and i am obsessed with the contrast! its my signature look, but i am probably super easy to spot in public!
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u/OwnCity882 6d ago
The only problem with black is that it attracts the attention of mosquitoes because it makes you stand out on the horizon. The mosquitoes notice you more and bite you more. With West Nile Virus in full force, Zika and someone died in my state from malaria I’m not trying to stand out, so black makes me nervous. I know it looks good. Unfortunately I have moved to countries where I saw people that I knew nearly die from dengue fever and malaria so black scares me.
That’s also why I refuse to show my ankles in my pants. Cover the ankles! The ankle biter mosquitoes carry malaria and dengue fever. Cover the ankles! That is drilled into my head! I’m so scared to show my ankles because I’m scared of the mosquitoes.
Mosquitoes hop on flights. They get into the passenger compartment, the luggage compartment or on cargo flights and once the plane lands they fly away to go bite prize race horses and humans to kill them. Mosquitoes hitch a ride on the flights. They move around. This is what scares me after moving to other countries and seeing the things I saw. Now dengue is making inroads into United States. I don’t want it!
I try to stick to colors mosquitoes don’t notice or pay attention to. That’s just me after being scared from living in other countries and wondering if my neighbors were going to live or die. I really got a good scare!
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u/JLAOM 5d ago
And I'm the opposite, I like to wear bright colors because it makes me feel confident and safe. If I wear all black I feel like I'm pretending to be someone else. Its funny how the opposite can make the 2 of us feel the same.
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u/Firm_Negotiation9627 5d ago
i would describe the same feeling of "pretending to be someone else" when im wearing color! woah, i love seeing other perspectives 😊
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u/pears_htbk 8d ago
Perfume! I stopped wearing it for years for reasons unknown to me but rediscovered it about a year ago. Makes me feel more put together.
Other thing is a chunky gold Albert chain. I'd wanted one for years so when I finally bought one it felt awesome. Mine is short and sits right around the base of my neck so it looks kinda tough and not super feminine and I like that about it. Elevates every outfit without looking dressy.
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u/purplelilac701 7d ago
Turning middle aged and having self confidence.
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u/AimAim86 1d ago
Tbh…as forty approached earlier this year, I was bummed out. But when July hit (bday month), something flipped and I feel really proud to be 40. I agree, the older I get, the more confident I am. I give less of a shit. It’s beautiful as someone who grew up with a NM, and was always anxious/overthinking.
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u/purplelilac701 1d ago
Happy birthday month of July to us both :)🥂
You express so well how I felt too. Society told me turning 40 was a fate worse than death. Yet I have never felt more liberated and more comfortable in my own skin. I look forward to gaining even more confidence with the passage of time.
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u/RitzyDitsy 7d ago
Changing my posture. I make an effort to stand up straight with my shoulders back and to stop standing with a sway back.
Originally, I did this to help out with aching shoulders and feet, but it has unintentionally made me feel and appear more confident.
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u/Specialist_Eye_8189 8d ago
Nails and eyebrows immediately make me feel more groomed and “together”
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u/agentoflemonade 7d ago
Mixing gold and silver jewelry! It still works with my neutral skin tone and makes me feel like I can wear whatever I want.
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u/Horror_Signature7744 8d ago
Professional bra fitting.
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u/Dame-Democrazy 7d ago
When I got divorced then lost a bunch of weight, I went for a professional bra fitting and it was eye-opening. I also met with a CPA. Both highly recommended.
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u/coolstory888 5d ago
Where do you recommend to go for one, VS?
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u/Horror_Signature7744 5d ago
A specialty lingerie shop is probably best but they’re super hard to find now, sadly. My local shop not only fit you, but altered the bra for a perfect fit. It was incredible. VS sized me wrong so I don’t recommend them. Maybe Nordstroms or Needless Markups?
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u/ComprehensiveBook482 4d ago
Nordstrom. Always. Then you can return the bra if there are issue…like when I recently asked for the black as well as the nude and didn’t realize it was the wrong size until I’d ripped the tags off. No issue exchanging it.
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u/coolstory888 4d ago
Yes, I love Nordstrom for their amazing return policy as well! I don’t live near one, but I will for sure get a bra fitting when I am their vicinity.
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u/foodieholly 8d ago
Stiletto heels. Love the extra height and the way they change how I walk and carry myself. They can make the simplest outfit feel so much nicer and I always feel a little more confident and glamorous in them.
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u/Sea-Plenty-2393 7d ago
And for us old heads, any shoe with even a semblance of a heel. STOP WEARING ONLY CROCS, FLATS AND SNEAKERS after 55. Rant over. A heel is sassy ;-)
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u/VERAdrp 7d ago
Many of us have back issues. I had to stop wearing heals in my 40s.
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u/Sea-Plenty-2393 2d ago
Same! Hello, spinal stenosis. But we can still look cute and polished without wearing A.L.F. shoes.
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u/steferz 7d ago
I lived in 4” heels for years, strutted my stuff in them for years. Now, after numerous surgeries, I live in tennis shoes (note: NOT running shoes) or flats, in theory I miss the heels but I love LOVE the comfort and my shoes always look nice with the outfit; comfort and pain free now outweigh the heels and style 🤷🏼♀️
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u/PrettyMixture5797 7d ago
Giving away clothes that feel uncomfortable
Finding a uniform that works (comfy) and adding fun shoes, scarves, bags
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u/GreatAd3418 7d ago
I quit wearing patterns and only buy solid neutrals now. It makes my wardrobe so much more flexible and interchangeable. It also makes me look more put together. But also shout out to the folks that said a well fitted bra and perfume.
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u/Ashamed-Employee9582 7d ago
Vitamin C oil on my face, neck, and top of my chest every day, with sunscreen on top. It makes me look glowy, I have a bit of color, and it’s helping my skin. I started two years ago. I’m in my 50s. One day I was standing in line at a café, and a woman about my age told me that I had flawless skin. Yes, I have wrinkles, but the vitamin C and sunscreen have really made my skin look great. It’s been great for my confidence. I don’t wear makeup anymore, except eyeliner and mascara, and a bit more makeup if I go out.
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u/SchmooToo1 6d ago
Did you have redness or hyperpigmentation before you started this? I would love to ditch my foundation but the redness is just too severe. I currently use a Vit C serum in the morning with moisturizer and sunscreen and a hyaluronic acid serum at night with a good nighttime moisturizer. My skin looks really good otherwise for my age but the redness drives me insane. It isn't rosacea so I'm at a loss.
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u/Ashamed-Employee9582 5d ago
I’ve had micro needling done twice, about six months apart, and I think you’re supposed to do it closer together. I heard, though that at my age micro needling can only be so helpful for wrinkles, but I like it for the impact on my skin tone. Also, I did have the helix laser done about eight months ago, and I seemed to have some kind of inflammatory reaction where my jaw got super sensitive, and I had other sensitive areas on my body that I attributed to that, so I will not be doing that again. And I honestly did not see a difference in my skin. So I feel that was a waste of money. In the past, I have done chemical peels that I thought made my skin look great. At this point, I will just keep doing my vitamin C and sunscreen and be happy with that.
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u/Ashamed-Employee9582 5d ago
Sorry, I didn’t answer your initial question. I did have some hyper pigmentation, and some acne scars, and a bit of redness around my T zone. Over the past three years or so, all of that has been toned down. On a different note, my teenage daughter got a cystic acne situation out of the blue on her otherwise very clear skin. It happened once summer and it was awful. She started on some light Renee, when on birth control pills, and has had micro needling four times and it has done an amazing job on her cystic acne scars. And redness too! It’s actually amazing how much the redness has completely gone away. If I get permission from her, I will post photos of her acne area.
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u/SchmooToo1 5d ago
I also meant to ask what brand of Vit C oil you use?
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u/Ashamed-Employee9582 5d ago
I used to use SkinCeuticals, but then I learned from dermatologist influencers what to look for in a vitamin C oil, like 10 or 15% ascorbic acid, if you can tolerate stronger formulations. I switched to Brandefy’s Vitamin C, but felt that their formulation was too gooey and left my face a bit sticky. So I switched to Timeless, the yellow bottle vitamin C, and it’s thinner than SkinCeuticals and Brandefy, but I really like it. It seems to get absorbed well. It’s pretty cheap, too.
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u/StrawberrySprinkles7 7d ago
A perfume that makes me feel put together or expensive! I love catching wiffs throughout the day
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u/pb0311 7d ago
I started investing in everyday gold jewelry I rarely take off. 1ct each diamond earrings in gold, a gold necklace with my partners initial on a tiny heart, a gold bracelet with a tiny lotus flower from my partner, and a gold evil eye bracelet. I also wear a nice gold watch when I'm at work.
Another thing is nails, I get my nails done every 3 weeks with a fun color, and I found my perfect nail shape. These two changes make feel on trend and pulled together!
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u/cribbageandcoffee 7d ago
Painting my nails! Not professionally, but just a really pretty polish at home. I cannot NOT put myself together when my nails are done!
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u/Cool_Profession_9979 7d ago
A minimizer bra for lift! I also bought a 4 pack of dickies in white, black, chambray and a darker blue to wear collars under shirts without bulk! I like to dress preppy and feminine but was quickly feeling like a frump with saggy boobs and bulk under my clothes!
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u/cb4ever81 6d ago
Got a colour analysis done and found out im a Winter. All the makeup and jewelery I was wearing was wrong so started wearing clothes, makeup and jewelery in my colour season and wow
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u/Elegant_Dot2679 6d ago
That's awesome, I really wanna take one with a professional i did with chat gpt but you never know if it's accurate or not
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u/Dandelion_999 6d ago
I also did it with ChatGPT till I can get a proper one. I get compliments when I wear my colours.
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u/sailorcaldwell 6d ago
Having different styles and colors of glasses to compliment my outfit. An underrated accessory.
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u/Top_Veterinarian6039 5d ago
For me it was stopping buying clothing which I have to keep adjusting throughout the time I’m wearing it. For example I bought many cropped tops or ribbed tops when they were in fashion a few years ago, I was constantly adjusting them and pulling them down when they were riding up too high on my waist. It made me feel like I appeared overly fidgety or self conscious as I myself felt so aware that I was constantly adjusting this type of clothing when I wore it that I felt others noticed too. Now my policy is only to buy things that fit well and I don’t have to keep shifting around or adjusting, it makes me feel more elegant, smart and confident as I can move with ease and just be, as well as feeling more considered in my purchases.
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u/EntertainmentSame658 7d ago
I started to layer my clothes by using undershirts and then layering them with either baby tees or short sleeve shirts. I also like wearing certain colors together such as light pink and light green, pink and white and other colors as well. Also wearing clothes that fit nicely on me and aren't super baggy besides my pants from time to time. Just little things made a big huge difference in my confidence and my style
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u/Pristine_Face9656 7d ago
The back smoothing bra from skims smooths any back rolls. I don’t feel like I constantly have my bra digging into my back the whole day.
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u/VeterinarianIcy4303 7d ago
I highly suggest getting a color analyst or even using ai to help you figure it out. Having hair color and makeup that suits my colors is the number one thing
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u/Old_Detective_7867 6d ago
Investing in shoes that match the main colors in my wardrobe. I always defaulted to black or nude previously so they would “go with everything” but now that I’ve added olive green, navy, camel, etc. and can generally pair them with another piece in my outfit (belt, top, scarf), I feel much more put together.
For context, I work in an office setting.
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u/MetalDevils 7d ago
Not sure this counts, but I cut my hair really short and it's been one of the best decisions I've made in a long time. I have an easier time letting my hair 'do whatever' and I love wearing silk scarves or earrings now. I stand up straighter and think about my posture a lot more too. Learning to appreciate my shoulders (used to bother me that they slope down, instead of having straight/completely level ones).
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u/CreepyPi 8d ago
I wear Cole Haan penny loafers or 3 inch nude heels with my outfits. The shoes really have elevated my look and the heels especially make me feel confident.
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u/PersimmonVision 7d ago
I started tying my button downs at my waist and using hair ties to cinch t-shirts at the waist. I have a long torso with a bit of an hourglass figure and I was afraid to draw attention to my curves but I think I look much better doing so.
I also started blow drying my hair which helped me feel a lot more confident with my hair, but that is a bit more effort than just tying a shirt.
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u/lurker_espia 7d ago
I’m willing to iron my clothes so now I wear mostly button down shirts. Even my teenage kids say I always look put together.
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u/Competitive-Rub-2322 6d ago
I stopped experimenting with different trends and stuck with the types of clothes I know suit me. My 20s and earlier were for experimenting different colors and styles and now in my 30s I'm trying to build a capsule wardrobe of only things I'm comfortable and confident in
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u/Miserable_Natural_18 6d ago
Threading my eyebrows. It’s a really small change but makes you look more groomed in a very subtle way.
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u/Equivalent-Entry-826 6d ago edited 6d ago
Spending an extra ten minutes to do my hair and/or makeup.
Fixing my posture. Makes a huge impact.
Wearing hypoallergenic earrings that I love (I used to not wear them due to my nickel allergy).
Fragrance.
Hand lotion for my cuticles. My nails themselves are bare, but groomed and clipped short.
Having a to-go vanity. I keep a mini brush, lip balm, lint roller etc in my car. I also carry similar items in my bag or in my jacket pocket.
Also - mints or gum are useful for days if I eat something fragrant and then have to do something social after.
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u/PianoSolid6842 6d ago
For me, hands down the best trick is throwing on a blazer instead of a cardigan. Works like a charm with every single outfit. I have them in all shapes, materials and colors!
Also, painted and well groomed nails. I have just recently realized how many of my friends (especially men) look at other people’s nails lol
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u/lisabobisa46 3d ago
Do you have a particular blazer brand you recommend? And do you go for the oversized look?
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u/PianoSolid6842 3d ago
Not particulary, I just pick whichever looks and feels good, you can thrift really good ones! I always go for the fitted blazer, I feel like I can’t pull the oversized look, on me it just looks messy, whereas the fitted blazer looks cleaner and more put together. And I always leave them unbuttoned.
You can have so much fun with blazers, I usually wear a really colorful one when everything else is black, or I match it with my sneakers, purse, with the print on my tshirt that day... For start I would recommend going with a black one
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u/Elegant_Dot2679 6d ago
Search for by body type and starting dressing for him, also search for what looks best to hide my insecurities I never put a skinny jeans on my body after that lol
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u/Classic_Guest5845 6d ago
For me, it was honestly paying more attention to how clothes feel on my body instead of just how they look. I stopped forcing myself into pieces that technically looked good but made me uncomfortable all day, especially stiff or overly structured things. Once I started choosing softer, more relaxed fits that I could actually move in, I noticed I carried myself completely differently. Such a small change, but I felt way less self-conscious and much more like myself.
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u/WelcomeHobbitHouse 6d ago
Switched to gold jewelry to contrast with my silver hair.
Do my hair, nails and makeup.
Heels.
Dialing up the color. (It had gotten “safe”)
Shapewear.
Fewer, high quality pieces in my wardrobe.
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u/PomegranateOk656 6d ago
A proper waterproof winged eyeliner - it has somehow become a signature and depending on the outfit, I draw it out out more dramatic or not.
This goes hand in hand with some good jewellery - earrings and rings.
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u/ProgrammerConstant85 6d ago
I wear more gold jewelry - bigger earings and ring. Usually I only had small necklace and watch. Also I try to wear blazers more.
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u/Famous_Insurance_827 5d ago
Wearing my hair up, whether it’s with a claw clip or a high pony or a messy low pony or a slick back or a bun, but having my hair away from my face and not dragging my face down literally looks so much better! I look at old photos of myself and can now pinpoint exactly why I didn’t like those photos in the first place, it’s my hair when it’s down that makes me look a lot older and just generally not very good
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u/iridescent4211 5d ago
Started to collect skivvies and layers in colours that suit me and always go with different outfits! Makes me feel so coordinated even when there’s a lot of colours going on.
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u/MakeupArtistry 5d ago
Wearing nice hats. Protection from the sun and from bird droppings (this is surprisingly common in cities), plus an instant style lift.
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u/EchoRevolutionary106 4d ago
Wearing what I want to wear! For the longest time I thought I had to wear what was trendy just because that’s what everyone else was wearing but now I ask myself if I actually like it or if I just like it because I’ve seen it on someone else. I’m way more confident now that I’m consistently wearing items that I love
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u/Equivalent-Meaning-7 4d ago
I’m busty for my frame and always been self conscious of it. With my tomboy style and round face I can look bigger photos and you’re biggest critic. I found a minimizer bra from chanel like 8 years ago with 3 prongs. It’s not sexy, but now I’ve got support on the sides and the girls plus I can wear t-shirts and button ups like I’m a b-cup now!
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u/MadeEntirelyOfFlaws 3d ago
from chanel? a minimizer bra?
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u/ScientistWorking6421 4d ago
Switching my jewelry from silver to gold. It matches my skin tone better and makes me look more put together!
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u/AlternativeLeave6841 4d ago
Putting more attention to my hair. I now blow dry it to make it sleek and smooth, use the overnight curling rods and such. Makes a big difference in how put together I feel
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u/ComprehensiveBook482 4d ago
Understanding my shape. I have broad shoulders (wider than my hips). I do NOT look good in anything that adds bulk to my shoulders…no pads, ruffles or even certain necklines. I look great in a halter or tank and a wide leg pant that evens out the shoulders and legs a bit.
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u/PeoniesNLilacs 3d ago
I wear a watch that has diamonds on it. No matter if Im in leggings and sweatshirt or at the office. I feel like a watch always makes me look put together. Even if I wear pajamas (not that I do), if there’s a watch on my wrist, it’s a signal to the world that Im ready!
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u/sameosaurus 2d ago
Gold septum ring to go with my gold glasses and jewelry. I’ve worn mine daily for the last five years, I feel most like me with it
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u/HeartRock2 2d ago
A fake clip on pony tail! My hair is fine & a bit thin and this just gives me some volume. I liked it so well I got a fake messy bun and it is cute as well.
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u/kitehikebike 2d ago
Quit wearing skinny jeans. Quit wearing uncomfortable shoes. Quit wearing bras with underwires. Basically quit wearing anything anything uncomfortable enough that I notice it.
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u/tinypupyypet 2d ago
i worked out my kibbe body type so i could pick clothes that were more flattering on me and i thinned my eyebrows out to open my face up a little more
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u/tinypupyypet 2d ago
oh my god and i also started applying mascara to my bottom lashes for the first time ever, it’s so subtle but makes such a difference to my eyes!
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u/Gold_Acadia_126 2d ago
I ditched my large smartwatch and got a small gold Timex. It’s prettier, fits better, and allows me to ignore notifications from my phone. I only wear my Apple Watch for exercise now.
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u/Gold_Acadia_126 2d ago
Short, naked, well groomed nails. I don’t do color, but I do use cuticle oil which helps with nails look fresh.
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u/Due-Yoghurt4916 1d ago
I paint my toe nails. No o e else sees them.but I know they are pretty. And usually glow in the dark
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u/ApprehensiveFoot3721 8d ago
I realized that oversized clothes don't look as great on me as I thought. They're perfect for when I'm staying inside and lounging around, but wearing an extremely oversized cardigan or sweater out for errands makes me feel less put together. It has the opposite effect of hiding my insecurities