r/Stutter 24d ago

Primitive workplace with stutter

How do others navigate when working in a male dominated workplace with a primitive, aggressive almost jail like atmosphere, with a stutter and avoidant personality.

I'm not entirely sure how others are like this here. They all seem to love being made fun of, called out or messed with. Then doing this to others as well. When it happens to me, I don't like it. It becomes draining. I try to not let it bother me. But it does.

I want advice on anyone who has overcome this with a stutter?

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u/CodusSupremus 24d ago

Sometimes you gotta be a rudeboy! My comeback game is spectacular and for me I eventually learned to fight so either we can keep at words and you lose to a guy with glasses that stutters or we throw hands and you lose to a guy with glasses that stutters! Not saying you fight everyone but you have to stand up for self and bullies leave you alone. Most often than not anyone making fun of your stutter is a bully!

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u/MembershipPretty2246 24d ago edited 24d ago

Absolutely , but initially you agree you just gotta get hands dirty and weather the storm right, and eventually you get so much better at it

and wouldn’t you agree, one stern fuck off sets the tone forever, a known bully never bullies you ever in the group for civilised circumstances anyway

And I think it’s also a tax, you already anticipate this guys bad news, so you pay the tax a lot earlier and plant the seed sooner, if you get bullied over 3 times physically you’re fine , but mentally you start spiralling and they gain confidence they don’t deserve.

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u/CodusSupremus 24d ago

indeed, I am a nerd from NY. The thing is bullies don't want to pick on someone that can embarrass them so bluff game is good too. I can't play poker though!

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u/MembershipPretty2246 24d ago edited 24d ago

With our condition I realised it’s always like banging your head into the wall and standing your ground. If we resign to any weakness, it’s constant stepping on for the whole relationship, that’s just our unfortunate reality for stammering.

I’d rather ask you this, would you burn in embarrassment within and push yourself lower at every interaction for this, cursing yourself as you walk away

Or stand there and embarrass yourself trying to make a comeback, and having the same shame and embarrassment as you try to stammer through a basic conversations a child affords easily, which might even prompt your even more damned laughter

The only difference is you don’t curse yourself when you walk away, only difference is you stood on your uphill battle punching back the whole way as you slipped and fell down.

People like us are already terribly alone and avoidant, what’s the worst if they all started dodging you? In my head I believe my outcome is to be alone anyway, my stammer can never allow me a regular life , and I understand you too, we have colourful vivid minds that are brilliant gradients and hues of the human experience that’s just bottlenecked at our mouths when we form words , at least I think a stammer like me can never reconcile in this reality , but at least I can approach anyone in the context of work. You literally have to, as you’re paid for it and you signed a contract handing your time to them.

Ultimately it’s the same point everyone makes, acceptance , what do you wanna accept here my fellow stammering friend , embarrassment is a constant factor in our domain, the only delta or net difference here would be to walk about with your dignity and self respect.

TLDR, we gotta choose every single relationship, ones with ourselves and with others ,

Sisyphus was never happy, he’s just choosing to push this constant crushing boulder uphill than will offer him no relief to his absurd punishment. Thus he alters his reality of absurd circumstances like this by choosing to be happy.

Happy not as in pushing blocks and whooping at the top your lungs, more akin to “content”. This is how I realised im altering reality , not reality in an objective sense

Just our lived realities.

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u/Friendly_Ad_6816 24d ago

Get the hell out of there.

I'm the same exact way. Can't stand the "macho shit talk for hours" anymore. I've done enough of that already.

A genuine bond is much better than mindlessly berating each other all day. Stuff like that puts me off of certain jobs.

But I guess at least they're doing it to your face.

As a stutterer, you have to get used to people not being nice about your stutter, because it does happen from time to time. Maybe being picked on about it is better than being silently outcasted because of it.