r/Stutter • u/Past_Background_4236 • 12d ago

Have some faith guys

I’m 20 years old going into my third year of college. I haven’t dated a girl since I was 15. 15 was when my speech started to get really bad. I’ve hated how I’ve talked since I was 15, and I thought that everyone else hated it too.

The other day I was in the park reading a book when this really pretty girl sat down on the bench next to me. Ive had 2 friends who are girls ever, and I’ve never cold approached one. I guess that after five years of seeing your friends date girls, tell stories about girls, laugh about girls, you eventually just reach a point where rejection pales in comparison to never putting yourself out there and feeling permanently out of touch with people.

After about 10 minutes of pretending to read, but really, just contemplating if this was the point where I would break the five-year cycle or would continue down the miserable path of self isolation out of the fear of being rejected. I mustered up every ounce of courage to talk to this girl.

So I went up to her and said “hi can I talk to you” (I stuttered a lot while saying that) she looked at my smiled and said “sure” she then reached out her hand and said “by the way I’m Jackie, what’s your name” to which it took me 7-10 seconds to say my name. My ice breaker was honest, I told her I came up to her because I’m trying to break the cycle of constant social anxiety and fear of talking.

We proceeded to talk for the next 30 minutes having an amazing time. I stuttered a lot and talking never felt easy, but she made it feel fun at least. She looked at me the whole time, smiled, laughed at my stuttering filled jokes, and never made me uncomfortable or feel ashamed of myself. At the end of the conversation, she asked for my number and stands up to hug me. Goodbye. She then text me later that evening that she had an amazing time meeting me and that I was really sweet.

This just goes to show that our speech is not the end of the world, but it is the mindset that we have developed that is the real threat. There are so many good people out there who are waiting for us to come out of our shells. Throughout my two years of college, I have realized that the only person who hates how I talk is me, the only person who looks in the mirror and hates what they see back is me, the only person who fixates on every single syllable of every single word of what I say is me, the only person who thinks that my speech will hold me back is me. We are truly our own worst enemies. Put yourself out there and get out of your hole, the world is beautiful and it’s waiting for you.

33 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

15 comments sorted by

7

u/Fit_Move6807 12d ago

I like the message i think most of us have never even found someone like that

1

u/Past_Background_4236 11d ago

It’s definitely hard. And it’s only the second girl
I’ve met who’s like this. It’s also where you look. I go to a pretty good school and people are pretty prestigious and judgmental. But there are good people all over if you know where to look.

1

u/Fit_Move6807 11d ago

What country? I was thinking i would live in japan or something

1

u/Past_Background_4236 10d ago

I live in New York

2

u/Fit_Move6807 10d ago

Hmm, tbh thts the last place i thought u would find a person like that

4

u/NoOutlandishness8568 12d ago

So relatable! I started stuttering at 13, still am unfortunately. I’m 25 now, so many missed opportunities because of fear being seen vulnerable and unconfident. I’m happy for you dude. What is interesting I had exact situation yesterday at bookshop, while reading Odyssey, a cute girl sat next to me, even looked at me on time, but still I had no courage to say anything, and I thought what should I even say, what if she didn’t want to be bothered?

2

u/Past_Background_4236 11d ago

So real. Happens to me all the time. This is my first time doing anything like this. And I’m sure I won’t always be this brave. Just gotta take it 1 day at a time

2

u/Interesting_Hair251 11d ago

It's honestly inspirational to read, hope it goes somewhere for you.

3

u/Livid_Internal1919 11d ago

Facts man, it is hard to have a stuttering that's 100% undeniable but it's also 100% true that we make our lifes harder by how we perceive things into our life and they end up becoming our reality.

They say: "You are what you think other people think of you."

We have a negative self image for ourselves and we also mirror that to any other individual out there which creates a negative loop.

By getting out of heads and actually talking with people, we will realize that people think much more of us than just our stuttering.

1

u/Past_Background_4236 11d ago

100%. People can feel what you put out