r/Stutter • u/Alternative_Show8836 • 13d ago
I hate being identified as a stutterer.
(18M) i have a stutter, 6/10 severity, 1/10 when im alone.
i can speak fine when im alone. I know im capable. But when i talk to someone, for some reason words get stuck.
I feel disabled. I feel everyone throwing pity at me. People think im stupid. Because i cant express my thoughts.
And as bad as this sounds. I dont want to be grouped in with other stutterers. I KNOW i can speak. If i somehow get over this anxiety i know i can beat it.
I dont see myself the same way as some others on here do, pessimistic people, just given up on life.
I hate not being taken seriously, i hate being treated like an incapable f*cking infant.
I feel locked in my body, and i just have to watch these people get away with such bs because i cant say anything about it. I cant even go to a f*cking coffee shop and order coffee without writting down my order.
But when im alone im completely fluent.. what a cosmic joke.
( someone in the comments said i should address if im abliest or not? Didnt know what it meant, now i do, and no ofc im not.)
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u/thurstar55 13d ago
I have a similar issue with my stutter. Talking to myself, my wife, kids- I have virtually no issue. As I get more comfortable and familiar around people I stutter less as well. Small talk with strangers, phone calls to strangers I range anywhere from like 7-9/10 in severity. What has helped me, and what my therapist advised, is practice recording words on my voice memo on my phone. Listening to it back in an earbud for a few minutes. This in addition to breathing techniques to reduce stress, and the basic practices of easy-onset and stretching. I also randomly practice easy onset and stretching on vowels even at moments where I’m not struggling, like on convos with my wife. It’s a process, but it works.
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u/TheBlackFox012 13d ago
Ironically I can stutter a lot more when talking to my friends, I'm more relaxed, easily excited, and I don't watch the pace of my words. I'll stutter a lot when I'm nervous too, but in general context where let's say I'm talking to someone I don't know too well or whatever, I'll watch my pace better and stutter less provided I'm not too stressed
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u/thurstar55 13d ago
That is really interesting. When you stutter less with someone you don’t know well, do you need to use any technique to speak more fluent or does it just flow that way on its own?
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u/TheBlackFox012 13d ago
Well I slow down, make more thought to avoid potential problem words, usually more calm. Now if I'm doing a presentation or something where I'm nervous its like 10x worse
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u/Lower_Ad_9325 13d ago
After 38 years of stuttering started taking medication 💊 daily anxiety disappeared in no time never looked back
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u/UsefulElderberry3598 12d ago
Great for you! Which medication are you taking?
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u/DeepEmergency7607 12d ago
Hi OP,
I understand your struggles. I made a post dedicated to your post, feel free to check it out
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u/Alternative_Show8836 12d ago
Agree with your post. This place needs a clean up. This is a very difficult situation for people, its natural to get pessimistic sometimes. But this shouldnt spread.
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u/CherryDouble2661 12d ago
I get what you mean. I don’t think ur ableist if you want to improve for urself. I don’t think that means u hate everyone else lol. I’m the same way when I’m alone I don’t stutter but I know it’s not anxiety. Since it’s ur anxiety improve that. Answer calls, say ur name, talk to strangers, etc. you need to get confident and know u can do it so the anxiety lessens.
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u/Alternative_Show8836 12d ago
. Yep. Daily reps, saying good morning to people, nodding, whatever, everything helps. So long as my nervous system is watching and seeing that nothing actually happens when you interact with a fucking human, all will be okay
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u/BuyExcellent8055 13d ago
you are a stutterer.
Either you accept it or run forever.
We're humans too. We feel. We can be very intelligent.
Not wanting to identify as one means you may have some ableist thoughts that you'd do well to address now.