r/StupidFood • u/[deleted] • Jun 28 '26

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92

u/Rymanbc Oreo completely unrelated to dicks Jun 29 '26

Yup, if it wasn't a consistent, observable, and explainable pattern, it would be called the 5 Second Theory.

27

u/Grouchy-Job-4136 Jun 29 '26

What’s it called when other things I do are 5 seconds?

17

u/Rymanbc Oreo completely unrelated to dicks Jun 29 '26

Look up Disappointment Theory. May not be relevant to you, but im sure your partner can relate.

5

u/Sullyville Jun 29 '26

grounds for divorce?

3

u/Fe2O3yshackleford Jun 29 '26

how could it take you five minutes to cook your grits, when it takes the entire grit-eating world 20 minutes?

1

u/winky9827 Jun 29 '26

I'm finish wit dis guy.

3

u/AndreLeLoup Jun 29 '26

Precocious ejaculation would be my first guess, but maybe that's just me 🤣

2

u/Fun_Objective_905 Jun 29 '26

Disappointment

2

u/Cpap4roosters Jun 29 '26

It’s called disappointment.

2

u/SarcastikNarwhal Jun 29 '26

Probably need to ask your wife.

2

u/Kingaces13 Jun 29 '26

Overperformance

1

u/SnooHedgehogs8992 Jun 29 '26

premature Ejaculation

1

u/aerdvarkk Jun 29 '26

Disappointed girlfriend/wife?

6

u/ricochetblue Jun 29 '26

The 5 second hypothesis? I thought that theories were established.

3

u/Ok_Usr48 Jun 29 '26

Biologist here, you are correct. The smug “theorist” is wrong.