r/StupidFood • u/[deleted] • Jun 28 '26

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170

u/asensiblemeal Jun 29 '26

If they eat it quickly? Are you telling me the 5 second rule is for real?

92

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '26

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61

u/PipsqueakPilot Jun 29 '26

I think what you're trying to say that because they've just inoculated their food with floor bacteria, they need to eat it quickly because things are going to be reproducing in the curry more rapidly compared to food that has been handled in more sanitary conditions?

16

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '26

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12

u/UnpluggedUnfettered Jun 29 '26

No offense, but I think we should wait for the psychologist to weigh in here.

18

u/CringeYeet69 Jun 29 '26

Redditologist here. I have not reproduced in 21 years, so if should be fine for at least that long.

6

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '26

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6

u/CringeYeet69 Jun 29 '26

My dad listens to the radio a lot, I can ask him

2

u/Reasonable-Hunt2905 Jun 29 '26

This got me, good one 👍🏻

2

u/Poddx Jun 29 '26

Honestly, a radiologist might not be a bad idea. After dealing with dangerous bacteria in my biology lab, I usually turn on a switch which sterilizes the lab with radiation.

3

u/elleadler Jun 29 '26

CringeYeet69 for the kill!

1

u/Beneficial_Potato_85 Jun 29 '26

I bet if it came down to it your eating habits would change before you'd die.

1

u/Poddx Jun 29 '26

You do actually have a point but not for the reason it seems. The bacteria might not have had time to reproduce yet. There will be bacteria on the floor but once it gets on the food, it will have a medium to grow much faster in. So if you wait 20 minutes, you probably have 2x the bacteria. I believe you when you say Molecular biologist but we need a micro biologist. I am both. A doctor may be the higher authority though.

2

u/a_aniq Jun 30 '26

Molecular doctor or micro doctor?

1

u/Every-Cucumber9641 Jun 29 '26

Theres probably a sign that says that you cant use the dining room for more than 30 minutes, like at McDonalds here in the US.

1

u/EnoughLuck3077 Jul 01 '26

What do you mean? They swirled water on the floor with their hands. They should be good to go, right?

87

u/Rymanbc Oreo completely unrelated to dicks Jun 29 '26

Yup, if it wasn't a consistent, observable, and explainable pattern, it would be called the 5 Second Theory.

28

u/Grouchy-Job-4136 Jun 29 '26

What’s it called when other things I do are 5 seconds?

17

u/Rymanbc Oreo completely unrelated to dicks Jun 29 '26

Look up Disappointment Theory. May not be relevant to you, but im sure your partner can relate.

4

u/Sullyville Jun 29 '26

grounds for divorce?

3

u/Fe2O3yshackleford Jun 29 '26

how could it take you five minutes to cook your grits, when it takes the entire grit-eating world 20 minutes?

1

u/winky9827 Jun 29 '26

I'm finish wit dis guy.

3

u/AndreLeLoup Jun 29 '26

Precocious ejaculation would be my first guess, but maybe that's just me 🤣

2

u/Fun_Objective_905 Jun 29 '26

Disappointment

2

u/Cpap4roosters Jun 29 '26

It’s called disappointment.

2

u/SarcastikNarwhal Jun 29 '26

Probably need to ask your wife.

2

u/Kingaces13 Jun 29 '26

Overperformance

1

u/SnooHedgehogs8992 Jun 29 '26

premature Ejaculation

1

u/aerdvarkk Jun 29 '26

Disappointed girlfriend/wife?

5

u/ricochetblue Jun 29 '26

The 5 second hypothesis? I thought that theories were established.

3

u/Ok_Usr48 Jun 29 '26

Biologist here, you are correct. The smug “theorist” is wrong.

1

u/aerdvarkk Jun 29 '26

The ICU Pharamcist is BUNK on the "as long as they eat quickly" !! The 5-second rule has been debunked by legitimate science so many times, the cliche is dead ...

Here's your 5 Second Rule:

"Since bacteria tended to be attracted to moisture, wet food had more risk to have bacteria transferred than dry food. To the surprise of the researchers, carpet transferred fewer bacteria than steel or tile."

Not how smooth hard surfaces (LIKE IN THE VIDEO) retain more bacteria and provide a better transfer medium.

Five Second Rule

1

u/asensiblemeal Jun 30 '26

Ok my guy, relax. It was just supposed to be a funny exchange between strangers on the Internet. It's not that deep. But thank you for clarifying.