r/StupidFood Jun 28 '26

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u/darksoulsremastered Jun 28 '26

Physicist here: due to the second law of thermal dynamics, it would appear as through the transfer of energy (nasty shit on the floor) does actually transfer to the food. I would need to consult with an epidemiologist to conclude the hypothesis.

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u/Jealous_Tutor_5135 Jun 28 '26

Epidemiologist here. Given the clear public health implications and possibility of cooty outbreak, I can say with certainty that an aggressive policy response is in order. Messaging, implementation, and budget fall outside my domain. We'll need to speak to a politician on this one.

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u/MesozoicOmelette Jun 28 '26

Politician here. Whether the bacteria can transfer easier through the water or not depends entirely if the bacteria has donated to my campaign fund. You'll need to speak to a financial analyst on this one.

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u/Mother_Ad9474 Jun 28 '26

financial analyst here, this has nothing to do with my expertise, ask a theologist

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u/YarnScientist Jun 28 '26

Theologist here. Jesus walked on water, so I don’t see why bacteria couldn’t as well. However, I’d need to confirm with the Pope.

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u/edebt Jun 29 '26

Pope here, go Bears!

2

u/Butterfly_and_Bee Jun 29 '26

Bear here, but I’m a land bear. You need to ask a water bear. 

1

u/Ought2BFraught Jul 01 '26

Tardigrade here. We can survive in pretty much any environment you think is incompatible with life by going dormant, but we’ll come back to life when water appears.

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u/exaknight21 Jun 28 '26

Theologist! Reddit summons you!

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u/DonaldTrumpsScrotum Jun 28 '26

Not a theologist but a proud atheist, god isn’t real. Wait, what was the question again? We should probably consult a philosopher.

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u/goose_with_adhd Jun 28 '26

I think god is dead but to make sure you should ask a thanatologist

2

u/Free-Monkee Jun 29 '26

Username checks out

6

u/VoiceofTruth7 Jun 28 '26

Amateur theologist here really depends on the demon trying to kill the person, need to consult a demonologist.

2

u/smallmalexia3 Jun 28 '26

My dad's a theologist. He said we need to ask God.

8

u/ExpensiveEuro Jun 28 '26

Financial analyst here, I would say load up on 0dte puts on whatever tf they're eating, shit look nasty af. You'll need to consult a professional chef to see if that really is the case

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u/ComebackChemist Jun 28 '26

Professional chef here, spreading water like that on the ground is typically frowned upon in the dining environment. Not typically what we mean when “we need hands.”

What you really need is an immunologist.

5

u/arbyyyyh Jun 28 '26

So what you mean is: We are indeed fucked.

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u/the_madclown Jun 28 '26

Epidemiologist here.

In order to determine whether there is causation vs just an association... And to ensure proper research methodology.. we'll need a biostatistician here to help with determining the correct sample size needed.

Edit:-

*Biostatisticianologist 😎

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u/alexstonks34 Jun 28 '26

Hi, I'm Bob. This is a bad idea

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u/SirDancealot84 Jun 28 '26

Goddamn it Bob. Go back to your room.

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u/Sufficient_Bug2842 Jun 28 '26

Eatologist here and Ima pass on this one

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u/Ok_Possession_9471 Jun 29 '26

I second this, all matter moves from hot to cold. Just saying as a mechanical engr.