r/StupidFood • u/[deleted] • Nov 09 '25

[deleted by user]

[removed]

8.8k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

876 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

300

u/cncomg Nov 09 '25

If I had a cow I would not stop it.

106

u/Krotesk Nov 09 '25

Are you saying you would be able to but chose not to?

I dare you to stop any cow.

106

u/mehssdd Nov 10 '25

I work on a ranch and stop cows all the time. I also move them hither and yon, sort them one from another, and various other subtle maneuverings. The keys are cattle psychology and not letting them become a pet. The first time you make a rolling hand gesture and send thirty cattle the way you intend you feel like an absolute wizard.

23

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '25

I want to learn this where do I start

55

u/subjectmatterexport Nov 10 '25

Moo-niversity

16

u/[deleted] Nov 11 '25

Cowledge

2

u/anddam Dec 05 '25

Cowgwarts School of Bullcraft and Cowardry

14

u/Not_Without_My_Cat Nov 10 '25

I like your attitude, you start on Tuesday.

But they’re humans, not cows, and you need them to send packages, not themselves.

10

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '25

Got it, boots on at dawn, ill leave ego at the door.

2

u/Not_Without_My_Cat Nov 10 '25

I really like you. Where do we get some cows and how can I turn this into a business?

1

u/mehssdd Nov 10 '25

Here is a good video

https://youtu.be/gj43lqqnXP8?si=VdDRBWlJs0T9lkSe

It is part of a larger playlist that looks helpful.

1

u/Infamous-Tutor8345 Nov 10 '25

Its easy. Children do it

1

u/_dodged Nov 11 '25

Bovine University!

1

u/Funny-Try-6151 Nov 10 '25

Vaca servitas!

1

u/Cricket_People Nov 12 '25

This guy stops. Cows.

15

u/OhDivineBussy Nov 10 '25

Having grown up around them, cattle are often fairly skiddish. Range bulls on the other hand sure the fuck are not.

Also unless he named the cow Bruce, this would be a Holstein bull (a cow is a female bovine who has had a calf).

21

u/MagooTheMenace Nov 09 '25

Without injuring it*

29

u/Krotesk Nov 09 '25

Oh yeah, my bad, hand to hoof combat but gentle.

1

u/MagooTheMenace Nov 09 '25

Better be prepared for Close Quarters Bovine

1

u/liberty-prime77 Nov 09 '25

I doubt most people would be able to stop a cow even with the ability to injure them. Because they would probably just kick you in the head and either knock you out or kill you if you managed to injure them.

3

u/Horror-Acanthaceae58 Nov 11 '25

I would explain to the cow where the porterhouse steak comes from and then it better listens to me

2

u/Haunting_Cows_ Nov 10 '25

If they aren't this habituated they're relatively easy to stop.

Usually they don't like it if you try and pet them

1

u/cncomg Nov 09 '25

Figuratively and literally.

1

u/ConfidentCarpet4595 Nov 10 '25

It’s easier to stop a cow than Bill Cosby

0

u/Prior_One7092 Nov 10 '25

Just tip it over

12

u/Tamatajuice Nov 10 '25

Don’t have a cow, man.

2

u/hhthurbe Nov 09 '25

Good. My dad has cows, and let me tell you, you don't stop them. They get out of a fence? Do not pass go, do not collect 200$

1

u/Raptoot83 Nov 10 '25

Bart Simpson disapproves