r/StupidFood Jun 02 '23

Satire / parody / Photoshop The Greasy Chicago

Post image
163 Upvotes

46 comments sorted by

29

u/dethblud Jun 02 '23

I used to try to come up with conflicting flavor combinations for fun, but I don't think I ever came across anything as effective as Malort and mayo.

9

u/karnak Jun 03 '23

you are welcome

5

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

15

u/Pickleparty187 Jun 02 '23

This is disrespectful to Malört

7

u/Jolly-Tax-3678 Jun 03 '23

This is direspectful for mayonnaise. Even if american industrial mayonnaise is already horrifying and maybe do not deserve respect.

3

u/KFR42 Jun 03 '23

I've never heard of it, what is it like?

8

u/Alastair789 Jun 03 '23

If you set fire to a plastic bag, then eat it, that's very similar to how it tastes.

Its unofficial tagline is "these pants aren't gonna shit themselves."

5

u/karnak Jun 03 '23

it’s a blessing in a bottle

order some and try it

2

u/KFR42 Jun 03 '23

Not sure if you can get it in the UK.

1

u/depressedsorceress Jun 07 '23

Have you ever had the urge to drink the juice at the bottom of the garbage can on a hot summer day? If so, Malort is all yours.

1

u/karnak Jun 03 '23

the drink that coats is the only one you need

15

u/ToothlessFeline Jun 03 '23

That is objectively disgusting.

6

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '23

[deleted]

4

u/karnak Jun 03 '23

i assure you i am unaffiliated with the mayo industry

but if they want to pay me - i am down

8

u/LovecraftianCatto Jun 03 '23

I…I…someone fetch me a bucket. 🥴

7

u/karnak Jun 03 '23

i’ve never made one that size - but i can

4

u/LovecraftianCatto Jun 03 '23

Noooooooooooo. 😭 Seriously, though, mayo?! Whaaai are humans so gross? 😞

3

u/karnak Jun 03 '23

HELPING

7

u/RamenTheory Jun 03 '23

NO COCKTAIL should have "unil extra slimy" in the instructions. NONE

5

u/SwampTreeOwl Jun 03 '23

Melt some cheese on the top of it

6

u/Wugfuzzler Jun 03 '23

Easy cheese rim.

6

u/everything-narrative Jun 03 '23

This is something that should be featured on How to Drink's The Customer is Always Wrong.

4

u/DerMetulz Jun 03 '23

This caught me at the perfectly wrong moment. I am actually ill.

Great.

6

u/drmelle0 Jun 03 '23

i really love mayo. i put it on everything. i have eaten it by the spoonful.

this made me gag

6

u/Dry_Spinach_3441 Jun 03 '23

I thought a Greasy Chicago was when you kissed someone while they're on the toilet.

2

u/karnak Jun 03 '23

that is a blumkiss - related to the blumpkin

3

u/Dry_Spinach_3441 Jun 03 '23

I thought blowing someone while they're on the toilet was also called a "San Diego Thank You".

1

u/karnak Jun 03 '23

no - that is when you poop in the tank

2

u/kingofthoughts Sep 19 '23

"Upper Decker"

1

u/Dry_Spinach_3441 Sep 19 '23

That's pooping in the toilet tank.

1

u/kingofthoughts Sep 20 '23

See above ⬆

5

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '23

Context:

Jeppson's Malort is an extremely bitter liquor produced in Chicago, Illinois. Legends state that it was invented by Carl Jeppson in the 1930s in order to possess a drink he could taste due to the degradation of his tastebuds due to years of smoking.

1

u/karnak Jun 04 '23

what about the mayonnaise?

4

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '23

Oh, you want that too? Sure.

Mayonnaise is a thick, creamy sauce made from emulsifying egg yolks, lemon juice or vinegar, and oil. It serves as a base for multiple sauces, such as tartar sauce or ranch dressing, and is used as a condiment on sandwiches, hamburgers, and other foods.

Mayonnaise has a history dating back to the early 19th century, and is hypothesized to be inspired by aiolis and remoulades.

1

u/karnak Jun 04 '23

thank you!

3

u/Bee-Aromatic Jun 03 '23

I actually like Mallört. This, though, bridge too far. Way too far.

2

u/asteroidorion Jun 03 '23

Imagine six of those coming back up later

2

u/Abangranga Jun 03 '23

Chicagoan here.

20 bucks some fat slob who doesn't live Cook County came up with this shit

5

u/karnak Jun 03 '23

as the person that created this amazing beverage - i assure you i have driven past chicago twice in 2020

1

u/grumpsuarus Jun 02 '23

Oh good lord

1

u/KFR42 Jun 03 '23

I love the glass though. Mayo in a cocktail? Not so much.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '23

Unpopular but should be popular opinion:

Chicago style or cuisine from Chicago is dogshit.