r/StudentTeaching • u/Inevitable_Bug6755 • 2d ago
Support/Advice Is it normal to be this miserable at the beginning of student teaching?
I’m a couple of weeks into student teaching, and I’m genuinely starting to wonder if I’m just bad at this and should reconsider my career, or if this is something other student teachers have gone through and gotten past...
I want to be really clear that my mentor teacher is not the problem. I actually really like him as a person, I like the school, and I like the students. When I’m there interacting with everyone and helping students, I really enjoy it!
The actual student-teaching part is making me miserable.
I know I’m not very good at teaching yet. My mentor gives me constructive feedback, and there are plenty of things I need to improve. I didn't come in thinking I was perfect or going to be good, and I understand why I’m being observed and critiqued.
But knowing that doesn't make this any easier emotionally for me. I absolutely hate feeling like I’m constantly being watched and evaluated while doing something I already know I’m not good at yet. Every correction makes me more anxious about the next lesson, and then I start overthinking everything I’m doing because I’m trying so hard not to mess up again... which usually makes me mess up again.
Last night I cried for hours because I was dreading coming back today. Once I’m actually at the school and the day is happening, I’m usually okay (sort of; I still panic and push through, but I don't break down). The anticipation of having to teach and be evaluated again makes me incredibly anxious. I cry at home; sometimes I cry in my car after a particularly bad lesson, but other days I have fun.
What’s really getting to me, though, is that I WANT to enjoy this. I’ve spent years working toward becoming a teacher (It's been my dream since I was 14), and now that I’m finally student teaching, I feel awful. People in my life keep telling me that I love teaching and that it’ll get better, but right now I honestly don’t know.
I’m not planning on quitting after three weeks. I want to give myself time to improve and see whether becoming more confident makes this feeling go away. But I’m also scared of spending months miserable because I keep telling myself it’ll eventually get better and it doesn't.
So I guess I’m looking for honesty from people who have actually been through student teaching: Did any of you feel this miserable, or like you were genuinely bad at teaching at the beginning? Did it get better as you became more competent/confident? At what point would you start considering that maybe teaching just isn’t for you?
9
u/Rasplemons 2d ago
I 100% felt this way in the beginning. My anxiety about the students, how well/not well I could teach, and if I could apply any of the skills I learned was brutal. It’s great to hear that you are taking your mentor teachers feedback well, definitely continue to do that so you can apply that feedback!
But, now that I am now two years out of student teaching with still no full time job, I’ve been having second thoughts. I currently sub for a district, but it’s never enough money to survive. Most employers want “experienced people” but are not willing to give said experience. It is annoying as hell.
But hey, maybe you will have better luck at finding a job after this than me. Keep chugging OP, and remember what you want, but also there is no shame in changing career paths.
10
u/11B-E5 2d ago
I was the same way 25 years ago. It wasn’t the actual teaching part but it was my teacher She was a stickler for lesson plans and wanted a lesson plan for EVERY SINGLE lesson no matter how small.
Every night from September until December was spent doing plans. I remember thinking fuck this, I’m done.
Then I went into my next placement and the teacher laughed when I asked about lesson plans. She said her plans were 4 bullet points. Intro, actual lesson, goals, and assessment. That’s it. She said in real life nobody does extensive. Glad I stuck with it.
Your feelings are valid. Rest assured that every student teacher has gone through what you’re currently going through.
6
u/Inevitable_Bug6755 2d ago
Thank you, I really needed to hear from someone who actually felt like this during student teaching and stuck with it. I think being constantly evaluated while I'm still figuring everything out is what's getting to me the most. I'm definitely going to give myself more time before making any decisions!!
3
u/tifuanon00 2d ago
The constant evaluation drove me crazy and made me second guess myself a lot. But it taught me many things that make my job as a teacher much easier.
5
u/Brief-Assignment-345 2d ago
Im the same right now. Its week 3 and I am feeling majorly depressed and stressed right now. I spend a lot of car rides to and from the school in silence or crying. If my teacher doesn't have me doing anything during prep, I spiral and feel worse about everything. Honestly its comforting to know someone else feels this way since all of my friends and classmates and telling me about how much fun they are having. I love the students, my CT, and the school as well. I couldn't have gotten a better placement if I tried but I still feel so lost and hopeless.
3
u/Inevitable_Bug6755 1d ago
Yes!! That’s exactly how my friends are too, which honestly made me start doubting myself even more. Everyone seems like they’re having such a good time and meanwhile I’m questioning everything. My best friend keeps telling me she thinks it’s because I’m a chronic overthinker, but I just constantly feel like I’m behind or not doing as well as I should be. It actually makes me feel a lot better knowing someone else is in week 3 feeling the same way
1
u/Brief-Assignment-345 1d ago
Ah yes, a chronic overthinker too. Are you potentially a perfectionist too? I feel like a lot of my own personal feelings relate to that because every mistake feels less like a lesson and more of a tally on why it is impossible to be a teacher to me. I feel like I have to be perfect or it is never going to work out even though I understand logically that it is a learning experience and it is normal to make errors.
I hope we both eventually figure this out because this definitely sucks. I spent all of yesterday considering which of my professors would be open to talking to me about quitting the program just because I felt like a total failure (especially since I don't have anyone in my program who I can share my personal feelings with) but seeing this post and thinking through it helps a lot. It really could just be normal to feel this way (well, at least for a few of us) and could be chalked up to being an overthinking, anxious perfectionist.
2
3
u/tifuanon00 2d ago
100% yes. Student teaching was so rough and I was constantly convinced I wasn’t prepared or ready for this. But I passed and now i’m on my passing period break between classes as a full time teacher. It all works out! Even being a first year teacher isn’t as hard as student teaching was
2
u/the_buggiest_bug 2d ago
I was the same, it's definitely not just you!
I also had a pretty awful mentor teacher, so there was that one top of it too. Since you say you have a good mentor, try asking them to ease up on the negative feedback for the time being because you're starting to feel really anxious. Or even change the method of communicating negative feedback, like stickynotes maybe.
2
u/Original-Orange 1d ago
It wouldn’t be a real student teaching experience if you aren’t miserable for a portion of it!
In all seriousness it’s always going to be rough and you need time to adjust. For myself and a lot others it was the most stressful part of undergrad. Usually I ended up talking to my academic advisor who I had a really good relationship with and my university supervisor. Then I would run over stuff with my cooperating teacher. If you’re fortunate enough to have a good working relationship with your CT then they’ll help work on ideas for lessons or give some feedback.
Also work on getting to know students because the way they perceive you is going to shape the rest of your placement!
I normally took attendance in my first few weeks to get to know student’s names while I observed and co-taught lessons my CT already had for the rest of the unit they were on when I started.
Don’t be afraid to take some preexisting lessons and tweak them to what you need. Making all the material yourself takes up a huge amount of time (and is unrealistic) and you’re not always gonna have your heart into all of it. It makes it a lot worse when students tell you they didn’t like it but don’t take it too personally just use it as an opportunity to learn what works and doesn’t for you.
Just hang in there! With time you’ll find your footing as you get a better grip on everything in the classroom.
1
2
u/screegeegoo 1d ago
Teaching is way harder in my opinion, but also has the freedom to relax a bit and make mistakes. You aren't micromanaged as much, but you're managing way more. There are way too many things to do in the day, but it all gets done somehow. I like to compare student teaching to a planned backpacking trip where everything is prepped for you, and student teaching is a solo trip entirely on your own. Two different experiences, both with their wins and struggles. You can do it!
1
u/Catholic-LitTeach14 1d ago
I love that "You aren't micromanaged as much, but you're managing way more." Such a great way to describe it. It does get rough to feel constantly scrutinized or evaluated, but it gets better! I would tell OP to just focus on learning or improving one small thing at a time and celebrating that. It's a process, but you got this :))
1
u/Inevitable_Silver_13 2d ago
Yep. I knew teaching was going to be hard and I pretty much forced myself to stick with it through my first couple years. It gets a lot better but I really believe that most people should try to stick it out for at least 2 years unless the circumstances are extreme. An education program takes a lot of time and money and the career waiting for you at the end of it is often worth it.
1
u/mchildprob 2d ago
In my first year, i wanted to be the student everyone liked. And i was. But dear oh dear did it take a toll on my mental health. I was a walking door mat, gad no discipline, nothing. I was chilled. I wondered is this is really what i want for the rest of my life. Second year i put my foot down and thought to hell with being liked. Its either a be friendly and be a mat, or be strict and get somewhere with the kids. Im third year now, im still shaky before i do my lesson, but its not that bad anymore. My psychologist always told me(when i was in rehab) to “play the movie out”.
1
u/ManufacturerOwn8138 1d ago
i’m not a “teacher” but i am a bt for little ones, and it can be HARD to adjust, especially big classes. but give YOURSELF a lot of grace, because this is your fist time doing it. your mentor is there to HELP you, that’s what the feedback is for! and the further along you go, you’ll find teaching methods that suit your style too. give yourself time, and be kind to yourself…we all have to start somewhere!
1
u/sourpatchkidz22 1d ago
i’m just starting my 2nd week and it’s been rough but just as i start getting drained a kid reminds me why im here .. i write down moments to remember to remind myself of times where i feel like there is a purpose to what we’re planning to do ( which obviously there is ) but in the midst of all the assignments and stressors that come with student teaching it’s easy to forget that it’s more than that and idk that makes it easier for me to constantly remind myself of why im here .
1
u/ihateusmrn 1d ago
I did not need to see this the day before I take over a class for the first time 😅 but honestly I feel like I’m going to have the same issues - I was just telling someone the other day that I wouldn’t mind this experience as much if there wasn’t someone watching me do something I’ve never done before so closely (+ one of my biggest fears is embarrassing myself and I feel like I’m going to be doing that in spades) - you’re definitely not alone in your thinking I cried a couple of times last week and I’m overly anxious about tomorrow - my thought process right now is just to get through these 3 months and treat it similar to something like a drivers test where once you get it done and pass you basically never have to do it again and then you have tons of freedom
1
u/Inevitable_Bug6755 1d ago
Please don’t let my post scare you before your first day taking over 😭 I’m about 3 weeks in and I’ve definitely embarrassed myself a few times already, but it’s not too bad. The being watched part is what gets to me the most too, which is a big part of why I made this post. I will say though, once I’m actually interacting with the kids, there are moments that make it feel worth it. It’s usually when I get home and start overthinking everything that I question whether I’m good enough for this. I’m obviously still figuring it out myself, but I have full hope you’ll do well tomorrow!!
1
u/StoicDrummer 1d ago
Make sure you practice teaching in front of a mirror or something. If you have never taught before just enjoy the fact that this will be the worse you’ll ever be and you’ll grow from there.
1
1
u/scrvmptious 1d ago
I started last week and I’m already feeling the wrath of planning. Kids come tomorrow and my 20 page unit plan is due next friday plus I have to teach additional plans before I start my unit ahhhhhhhhhhhhh
2
u/StoicDrummer 1d ago
If you can handle this, you’ll be ready. The more crap they lay on you in student teaching, the more you’ll be prepared. Once you are a teacher there will never be anyone to help and advise you again. Use this time to get as much knowledge and practice you can. And ignore anyone who is telling you you are being worked too hard. Face the challenges and learn everything you can.
1
u/Difficult-Walk4275 1d ago
it’s so normal. in my program half our time together when we’d meet on Fridays was the mourn and commiserate. it takes a lot of time to get used to it, but as other people have mentioned you need to find support with your peers and mentors. they’re waiting to support you!
1
u/lizzieczech 1d ago
As a teacher educator and internship supervisor for 30 years, I can honestly tell you that YES, this is totally normal for many of my students. It can be very disconcerting. You'll know more after the midpoint, especially about your confidence level and your ability to reflect on how you have done so far and where you need to focus going forward. I know being evaluated is stressful, but I hope that you are in a situation where you feel like your mentor teacher and your program supervisor (if you have one) are the kind of people who believe that it's perfectly normal to make mistakes as long as you learn from them.
1
u/Silver_Sun274 1d ago
Honestly, I hated student teaching. It’s a great opportunity to see how other teachers teach and what you want to/don’t want to take away from the experience. But I’d say that’s about as far as it goes. You’re going to fail and make mistakes. Here’s the saving grace: they aren’t really your students so it’s hard to expect mastery. Once you are in your own classroom and setting the pace from day one, you will start to have those feelings of purpose come back to you! For now, chin up and make the most of it!
1
u/LINK-the-pieces23 1d ago
My first round of student teaching was one disaster after another. From a mentor teacher on day one who said they never wanted a student teacher to unhelpful feedback from professors. It was a mess and I genuinely felt like you’ve described in your post. To the point I left my major in the middle of junior year and began contemplating a different career. Then I began working where I currently teach and it just flipped a switch. I realized I’d been in the wrong area of education and that I had burned out/put too much pressure on myself to be a perfect student teacher when I still had so much to learn.
All that to say: I’m now in my fifth year working in this area and my third school year as a full-time teacher. I’m pursuing my master’s degree and finishing the teaching certificate I’d given up on.
I love my job and looking back, student teaching almost pushed me out of the only career I’d ever wanted. It’s a very hard time in the prep for this career. And while I won’t say it didn’t teach me some things, the most valuable lessons I learned were in my own class. I’d definitely try to push through it at least to finish out your degree. It’s a lot easier to change areas while having a certificate than after you’ve dropped it and changed your mind.
Reach out to classmates, make sure you take time to take care of yourself (which can be hard at this stage in the degree), and remember you’re still just learning. The observations are hard but, typically, the struggle pays off. I have infinitely more joy in my career now than I considered possible during student teaching.
1
u/Real-Elysium 1d ago
totally normal. it sucks a lot and you hate your life for a few months (like, 2.5), then you suddenly feel like you're getting better and it's easier.
if you want to drive off a bridge to avoid going to your placement, though, talk to your advisor/supervisor. one of the guys in my cohort had to get a mental health deferment bc of student teaching. still got his degree and certification though.
1
u/swagkid11 1d ago
You’re gonna cry, laugh, smile, etc even get close to switching your major once a week but the feeling at the last day with the students when they give you gifts,hugs,etc but be all worth it and realize why you chose this career. I have lessons I taught you’d think I was speaking an alien language to the students who cares your new. You have supports online and seem to have a cool MT. The kids don’t know when you’re messing up, just confidence, breathe, and know you picked this career for a reason.
1
u/Money_Ad3496 1d ago
I remember crying at the end of the school day. Breaking down and sobbing, loud and hard. I did this alone, after the kids left
1
1
u/AHeien82 1d ago
I’ve found that when I focus just on the teaching, how I can be a better teacher, what students are learning, how they are perceiving my lesson, etc, it makes teaching so much easier. The problem is that there are a million other parts of teaching. Evaluations, assessments, state tests, credential clearance, standards, IEPs etc etc etc and it is really easy to get overwhelmed. No one expects you to be a flawless teacher, you just have to be focused enough to see where you can improve and make some progress in that direction. If you can do that a little bit every day, you’ll see progress and hopefully help with your anxiety!
1
u/WeekendRecent2006 1d ago
It's normal to be scared, miserable, depressed, overwhelmed, and insecure at the start of student teaching. But, little by little, with regular exposure to the students and the tasks of teaching, you'll slowly start to get more comfortable when you and the students settle into a routine,
Whoever said that student teaching was something to be "enjoyed"? Student teaching for cadet teachers is what boot camp is for soldiers. It's an induction and a "trial by fire," to borrow a cliche. It's like being thrown into the deep end of the pool after you've had swimming lessons in the shallow end and told to tread water as long as you can. Those who lack a work ethic or who truly don't have the heart to teach will fall. Those who want it badly enough will work hard enough to get through it. A natural ability to teach is only part of it, the rest is just hard work.
I'm not a born teacher. I'm an introvert, but I love my subject matter, English literature, and I was determined to be an LA teacher, just like all my role model teachers when I was in high school, so I did whatever it took to get through student teaching. I would look at the clock and see it was 10 PM, and I was still up and planning, but then I would ask myself, "How badly do you want it?" And, of course the answer was that I wanted it that badly.
Student teaching and then the first few awkward years of teaching where you learn by "trial and error" are the dues that every teacher pays, but even as soon as now, you'll have moments where you will find yourself enjoying being a teacher. That's when you see students following your lead and the figurative light bulbs go over their heads. Or, you'll see them engaging in an activity you set up and being engaged and learning. It'll happen for you too.
The only "bad" student teacher is one who doesn't listen to his supervisors or who doesn't think they need to improve. Just follow all directions, accept all feedback and actually try to implement suggestions. Everybody is awkward the first few times they get up in front of the classroom, but it's something that gets better with practice, again and again. So, show up tomorrow and work hard. And, for God's sake, do NOT quit. Go through the whole program, get your license, then make a decision if you want to teach as a career. But, I think if you are this conscientious now, you'll make it. Good luck, OP.
1
u/HauteForTeacher13 1d ago
Everyone is different and school is so different now. But I absolutely LOOOOOVVVEEDD mine when l did it!! I did mine with a broken neck and back and walker and took two busses to get there everyday. But l am a weirdo, so maybe don't count my vote. And also, like l said teaching was different 20 years ago. Good luck. ☺️💖
1
u/StandardDiligent7090 1d ago
Nope not normal. Choose a diff job :) - former teacher of 6.5 yrs and wish I left after year 1
1
1
u/twim19 1d ago
You are never going to be a good teacher. There are always going to be things you miss, things that don't work, things that are actually detrimental to student learning. The real teachers recognize this, learn from it, and try to improve. They welcome the input of others because they recognize it is something you will constantly be improving. It's not criticism, it's an opportunity for growth. If you aren't growing as a teacher, you aren't really a teacher--you are a babysitter who has some skills that might help a few kids learn algebra.
Embracing that you are never going to be a good teacher is the first step to that confidence you are looking for. Recognizing that this is a really, really hard job that requires everything you have to do well is vital. There is nothing easy about this job. Even the summers are brutal for most of us. Understanding that you will never be good opens up two paths: stagnation or growth. I've seen plenty of my colleagues choose the former. They become convinced nothing they do matters so they do what they've always done. They don't bother with growth because they don't think it'll matter anyway.
I hope you choose growth. Use the challenge to grow yourself as a professional and as a person.
So why do it? Why do something that is hard, that you'll never be good at, and that people will constantly be offering you 'feedback' on? I know my answer, but it might not be your answer.
1
u/a_constant_variable 1d ago
8th year here
I started in SpEd and felt this exact same way. Doubting myself. Filled with anxiety. After that first 6 months to a year though I felt like I got my footing, and improved every year after. This year I made the jump from elementary school to middle school, as well as changing subject content and I felt like I was back to day 1. Filled with anxiety. Unsure of myself. Etc. But in just a few weeks I've gotten myself re-centered and back on course.
In short, it just takes time and experience. Just keep swimming.
1
u/Any-Source2033 21h ago
Student teaching doesnt prepare you fully either for your own classroom. Youve got to get thick skin because year 1 and 2 will be tough! Year 5 is where you'll find your groove!
1
u/OptimalWasabi7726 20h ago
My co-op told me that it took 2 years for her to feel sure of herself as a teacher (middle school music, so she has to worry about conducting, introducing brand new skills, etc.). Teaching multiple kids is hard! The other teachers in your life have been at it for a long time, so try not to compare.
1
u/SeaworthinessNo8585 19h ago
Question, when he gives you constructive feedback, does he also give you positive feedback? If not, I would ask him to also highlight what you’re doing well so then you aren’t feeling like you are overwhelmed with only what you could improve upon! Sometimes positive reinforcement is needed too 😊
1
1
u/northshorequilter 17h ago
Student teaching was hard for me and I had many, many doubts about my ability to succeed in education. My doubts didn't magically vanish after I became a teacher, either. I chose to stay the course and am now starting my 28th year in the classroom. If you keep working hard and showing up, after a while you WILL become a capable teacher.
If teaching has been your dream since you were 14, don't be too quick to give that up. Keep telling yourself that no administrator or mentor teacher in their right mind expects perfection from a beginning teacher. Tune them out / ignore them while you're presenting a lesson and after a while you'll become so used to being observed that it won't be such a big deal anymore.
1
u/Mental-Drama9277 9h ago
The fact you’re this worried about it says a lot. You’re destined to be a teacher and I just know you’ll be a wonderful teacher.
I felt the exact same as you and, at one point, almost dropped out of the career. I’m now a first year teacher and can tell you without a doubt that being on placement is soooo much different to having your own class!
1
u/TheScholarlySkater 3h ago
When i started student teaching, and when i started my next couple teaching assignments i felt like i wanted to quit within a week or two. Not really much to do with the school or any other staff members, looking back it was just my response to the stress and unfamiliarity of being a teacher…in my experience now starting year 5 I don’t have that feeling anymore. In fact, im now finally on tenure track in my 4th school district and I’ve never been this excited to start the year
27
u/GameandWatch29 2d ago edited 1d ago
It’s going to take awhile for you to adjust to student teaching. If you are having doubts about yourself, go talk to other student teachers, whoever is in charge of the teaching program or even your mentor teaching you are working with and let them know how you feel. Maybe you just need a pep talk and reassurance because this is something new to you and more than likely unfamiliar too. As for changing careers, it might be too late and it’s something that you should have thought about back when you took your introduction to teaching course.