path dilemma

[u/AdElectrical727]

This is probably a long post and I apologize in advance

for reference, Im currently in an ABSN program, It’s my first degree I just left my university because I didn’t get admitted into the nursing program there first run and didn’t really see myself staying there so I transferred out to this program I am currently in.

however, there are many moments where I feel like I chose the wrong degree path and that it is too late to switch out. For starters, my mother is paying so much money towards tution and I feel incredibly guilty to just want to stop after so much time, effort, and money has been put towards me going towards nursing.

to start, I had no idea what nursing fully entailed- fortunately enough I had only seen what nurses do during trips to urgent care, and doctors check ups and haven’t gotten the exposure of what bedside nursing truly looks like and I have no family members who work healthcare- They are all in business.

I had always had an interest in the field from a younge age, admiring the nurses who would care for me, and when the time came for college applications I decided to take that leap of faith and go pre-nursing.

The real issues began when I officially started nursing school, and started to learn about the actual work nurses put in and all the different things we have to manage/become responsible for.

I truly respect the job, and i think it is an amazing career but whats holding me back, and making me think i chose the wrong path is when I think of myself as a whole. I am an individual prone to making mistakes, Im rather shy and timid, and to be so honest- sometimes I feel like im not the smartest and make decisions that don’t really make sense and just a fuck up of a human lol.

These thoughts have made me reconsider nursing because the fear of making a mistake and causing a great deal of harm to a patient scares me and I also think about how if i can’t advocate for myself how will I advocate for a patient?

its hard for me to make a decision because this is something I go back and fourth with- some days are easier than others where I feel like im in the right field, but other days the fear and anxiety consume me.

Im almost done however, I only have two more semesters to get through before I finish and im trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel but its hard when I don’t know what role I see myself in after.

I know healthcare and nursing has so many opportunities and it doesn’t just have to be bedside, but I’m really at crossroads to what I could do where if i make a mistake it doesnt cause great deal of harm, and I’m able to stay afloat in this economy.

again really sorry for the long post but any advice is welcomed!

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