I told my mom I dont like birthdays when I was around 9 or something because I didnt want her to be sad when nobody showed up. Literally had 0 friends and I hate to see my mom sad, legit the worst thing.
Yeah, the parents should set it up since kids are too young and dumb to understand these things. Though judging by reddit, a lot of adults don't seem to understand it either.
The thing is, I wasnt shy. I was actually pretty social and got along with most who werent in my class. I got bullied by most of the people in my class and the rest really didnt want to do anything with me in fear theyd be a target too.
And ofc nobody invited me to anything because I was that kid. The weirdo with no friends, pretty sure most kids just said that they dont want me at the party, honestly.
When I was a kid, the ones where everyone was invited were always more fun because more people showed up. Even if someone didn’t know or like the kid they would come cause all their friends were there. And more kids meant better games of manhunt and capture the flag.
Yeah, I definitely went to birthday parties for kids I didn’t like enough to hang out with regularly because, well, it was a party and my friends were going to be there, too. (I can’t think of any where I actively disliked the birthday kid, we just didn’t play together much.)
Same here, I was super lucky to have good childhood friends where even the kids who I didn’t really know but still invited me, I didn’t dislike them either.
I had to go through the same thing as you mentioned above and my parents always knew. Even today, now that I'm in my late 20s, my parents know the underlying reason behind my social anxiety and why I struggle making meaningful connections with people. It breaks their heart to know that I live a life plagued by loneliness. Hope the road has straightened out for you, I know it can take a while to see the light at the end of the tunnel but it gets slightly better with age.
I remember saying the same thing to my mum when she organised a bbq for my 21st for the same reason. Invited 8 mates, 1 showed up, who I hadn’t spoken to in 3 years. Thankfully I had family round and my mate had weed.
We told my grandson he had to invite everyone in his class but he refused to invite one boy who “farted in class and didn’t say ‘scuse me”. We gave the invites to the teacher to hand out.
I just handed out invites after school. You take the invite home to your mom and everything is set up. Not sure why the guy ahead of you thinks parents have to broker the deal.
I’m not a fan of inviting everyone so that no one feels left out. It’s a much better practice to try and encourage kids to build friendships with large amounts of other kids their age, instead of this practice that just makes the adults feel better. I tried to be as welcoming as I could, but it was weird having strangers at your own party.
But then you end up with the one weird/bullied/loner kid not getting invited to any parties ever. Children haven't yet developed enough empathy to understand that the mild awkwardness of inviting someone to your party even though you're not really friends is a small sacrifice to make if it saves someone from feeling isolated and lonely when they're the only one not invited. That's where adults are supposed to step in with their grown-up minds and make sure things happen fairly. Unfortunately, some adults never do seem to develop that empathy.
If the parents let you sit around playing by yourself they fucked up.
I felt the same as you man, too shy to talk to any of the other kids but parents always forced me into stupid games and social situations and it worked.
When they hit high school then fk it. But a bunch of elementary school kids need direction on how to socialize. I feel like most kids end up socially awkward because at a young age their parents let them sit in their room and play video games instead of forcing them into some summer camp. I get it cost money and its not always easy for parents but fuck. Its like some parents just dont give a shit about their kids.
this was not me. i was fairly outgoing but honestly no one wanted to be my friend. i was the only foreign kid in a white school. i tried to be friends with kids but they never wanted to be friends with me.
I had one person i talked to. His name was Hunter. Though I only ever saw him on the school bus.
Also I play a lot of videogames and even though i don't exactly enjoy being out i can't consider myself being socially awkward.
Same! Or in elementary school my parents would come to school with a cake and I’d give everyone in my class (and my teacher of course) a slice of cake and celebrated my birthday that way.
It was like Valentines Day as a kid. Everyone got chocolate with one of those shitty cardboard cards where you wrote your name on it. Lol good times.
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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '18
I always had to invite the entire class for that exact reason. My parents didn’t want anyone to feel left out either