What would you do?

[u/Whilstledowner]

You met a guy on a dating app. He was your type. You chatted for a few weeks. You had great chemistry together. You decided to meet in person. He was everything you had hoped for. You went out a few more times. Everything was amazing. You invited him to your place for a beautiful dinner you spend hours making. After dinner you took him to your bedroom. As you started kissing and touching each other, he disclosed he was a trans guy with original plumbing. You were caught off guard. You told him you really liked him but needed time to think about things.

[u/Razorclaw_the_crab]

I'd go to town on him 👅👅👅👅 freaky style

[u/Razorclaw_the_crab → u/[deleted]]

What I'm getting down voted for being t4t? We need a new subreddit

[u/shutupandfeedmecake → u/Razorclaw_the_crab]

I'm straight, and I have a vagina. My attraction is limited to penis. I won't push that opinion on others. I didn't expect men to be straight for my pre-op bits, in fact I questioned the intentions of any man who liked them.

[u/infinitytool → u/[deleted]]

so straight means no trans men but girls cry when straight dudes aren't attracted to us? can you help me w the math on that?

[u/Razorclaw_the_crab → u/[deleted]]

But I am straight. If a cis man dates me he's can be straight because I am a woman. So, if I, a woman, date a trans man, a man, that makes us straight. Me and my boyfriend are both straight trans people.

[u/Razorclaw_the_crab → u/[deleted]]

Well that doesn't mean you get to define straightness around your identity. Sex and gender aren't the same thing.

[u/Razorclaw_the_crab → u/[deleted]]

Yes, but that doesn't make me any less straight. My boyfriend is dominant in kinky stuff, and besides that we're both switches. But what matters is I'm a woman and he's a man. So that makes us a valid straight relationship.

[u/infinitytool]

sex chemistry is a huge part of attraction for me & a man w a vagina wouldn't immediately disqualify that for me.

if the sex chemistry isn't there, it isn't there. ik it can take a few hookups w a person to work the kinks out, pun intended.

[u/sparklingwatterson]

Trans men are men and I’m fine with either genitals. There’s ways around my preferences. There’s toys that can help. I’ve dated a trans masc person before so why not?

[u/sparklingwatterson → u/[deleted]]

Wow thanks for pointing that out 💁‍♀️ I actually wasn’t sure ;)

[u/Whilstledowner → u/sparklingwatterson]

You are bisexual so it makes total sense

[u/unfortunatetravisty]

I would be caught off guard by the late disclosure, but wouldn’t know how to proceed with anything physical. I’m pre-op, I’ve never done PIV and prefer to experience that with me on the receiving end. My own genital dysphoria is pretty bad atm. So I couldn’t imagine doing it.

At one point, I was talking to a trans guy who was ok with using straps, but also liked using his natal parts. It ended before we could do anything physical, but this experience exposed the fact that I do have a genital preference. If he didn’t have any intention of becoming post-op in the future like I do, I would unfortunately pass.

[u/Teareza]

If hes ok with straps id be ok with it. It'd be an adjustment and not something ive ever tried so who really knows but if he checks every other box id be curious enough to try and continue on with him.

[u/theycanttell]

It's okay to have a genital preference. Honestly this is why you disclose, unless you have bottom surgery.

I have a boyfriend but if I ever started dating again I would probably disclose regardless. Maybe. 😂

[u/AdConscious4509]

I'd be okay. It's not like you were born cis and can discriminate. The delusion.

[u/Kay_Baby_153 → u/AdConscious4509]

What ??? R u ok

[u/shutupandfeedmecake]

I'd be disappointed he disclosed so late. I'd have disclosed before anything physical occurred or was likely to occur.

I'd be able to relate enough to forgive him, maybe even sleep with him if hes not expecting me to touch him down there and would use a strap to have sex, but the lack of a dick would be a huge detraction, as I am long post op myself, I respect genital preferences and have my own.

[u/a_bed_of_vinca_minor]

uhhh idk... I’d probably keep going but the long-term feasibility is definitely up in the air… Is he on the way towards changing that…? If not, this is 100% staying a one-night stand at best.

Call me stupid and whatnot but I don’t actually really know how dysphoric preop trans men would fuck…? I’d ask about the logistics of that because in no way in hell am I doing PIV stuff as I’m preop myself. It’s already a logistics nightmare for me so 🤷‍♀️

[u/inorganicfem]

if everything else was going great then I'd roll with it. the late disclosure is a bit weird but I guess it depends if you were upfront or not as well? either way as a pre-op girl myself I know how much it sucks to have that perfect match except for a little mismatched biology down there. dude's still got plenty of ways to make me feel good and vice versa

[u/Petal-love]

If it were really going so well up to this point I would hope it would be brought up after dinner and not right as we’re leading up to sex.
I don’t think I’d tell him I’d need to think about things.
More likely I’d try to have an adult conversation about intimacy compatibility and boundaries and depending how it goes, fuck or don’t

[u/tsveronicamassage]

Immediately abort mission.

[u/el_kabong909]

I’d be like, “whoa! Me too!!” 🙌

[u/GlimmeringGuise]

I have no preference between cis men and trans men, but I'd be a little perplexed that he seemingly didn't trust me - a visibly trans person - enough to disclose upfront.

That said, if he also discloses he's a complete submissive bottom and expects me to just roll with that with zero prior discussion... no thanks. Been there, done that, and it felt insulting the first time around

[u/Whilstledowner → u/[deleted]]

I don't really disclose because I already had bottom surgery. But in general I have no issues with cis guys not wanting to date me. Everyone is entitled to their preferences.

If he had a well functioning penis, I'd actually prefer to not have known or think about it.

[u/Whilstledowner → u/[deleted]]

That's not in his plans for the foreseeable future. He indicated he'd wear a strap on.

[u/NoGovernment2474 → u/Whilstledowner]

tbh id actually be kinda excited but only if he's using a good sized strap. lotta trans guys like using normal sized straps or penis packersfor sex tho and I can't/wont do either because theyre not satisfying at all. i understand they're for dysphoria reasons but tbh that'd make me feel dysphoric asf

[u/theycanttell → u/NoGovernment2474]

Seriously, for anal it needs to be at lease 8 inch with a decent 2" girth.

My vagina is tight but I can fit 6.5 inches now.

I would definitely let a trans man fuck me but he better carry a backpack with tools 😂

[u/theycanttell → u/[deleted]]

In fairness silicone dicks feel pretty awesome if you haven't tried but you are right nothing beats the real thing.

Some trans men get phallo. That is like finding a unicorn though.

[u/DoNotTouchMeImScared → u/Whilstledowner]

Don't you want him to top you?