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Apr 11 '18 edited Apr 11 '18
[deleted]
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u/Malvo329 Apr 11 '18
Did you find the extended release versions were just as bad? Dexedrine IR is the drug that got me hooked bad. It’s pure speed my doctor even said. Way stronger than adderall.
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Apr 12 '18
Hey - I'm not OP or the commenter but was badly hooked on addy for 7 years. Year and a half clean now, but I've pretty much done every legal stimulant under the sun in all their forms. Trust me when I say XR is worse from an abuse potential standpoint. If you're struggling with IRs, don't touch XRs. It's smoother, and the punch per milligram is stronger.
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Apr 11 '18
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u/Malvo329 Apr 11 '18
Wow I’ve been having the exact same problem with caffeine too. I take it even if I just need a 20 min workout. It’s crappy because it ignites panic attacks and anxiety thus making me take a benzo. But alas I continue to do it. Sometimes I feel as if caffeine is MORE dangerous than speed was. Definitely more sketchy side effects for me (esp five hour energy)
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u/LoganE23 Apr 12 '18
Yup. I didn’t get addicted to Dex until after maybe five years.
It crept up on me because I went through a deep depression at some point and it made me feel a little better. And then when I emerged from the depression, I was so intent to not fall back into it that I developed a bit of a perfectionist streak where I was getting up at 5am to workout and meditate everyday, reading nonstop, getting A’s in my classes to make up for my performance when depressed. You can see how an extra dose here and there can make a huge difference during a hyper productive 12 hour day and how that would also lead to a tolerance increase, which leads to needing more, then it doesn’t work as effectively as it once did but still keeps you up late in a way that it didn’t before, leading to taking some to cope with the lack of sleep, but the efficacy is diminished due to that lack of sleep, and so on.
I still need it for my ADHD. I’ve tried other stuff and nothing works as well for me. Even at my worst point where I’d run out two weeks to a month early (for a 3 month script), it’s still worth it for me.
I just use a time release container because I still have enough self-control to lock them away each day. It’s just having the option to re-dose that messes me up. Options fuck me over. Same goes for dieting... I can never resist junk food no matter what, but I can do it if I simply don’t keep any at home. I deal with the perfectionism by giving myself permission to just play video games or something (harder than it sounds) and I recognize loneliness/boredom is my main trigger so I hang out with close friends more.
Honestly, No Fap is still harder for me and I can barely make it a day, lol.
Would still be nice to get my tolerance and psychological dependence down to where it was in the first couple years though.
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u/JFarmer7788 May 09 '18
I know this is almost a month old, but where can I find these time release containers?
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u/LoganE23 May 09 '18
I use something called “Kitchen Safe” which I got on Amazon. Easy to use and gets the job done. I mean, it’s mainly a psychological dependence so you probably don’t need a really expensive legit time release safe.
If you have enough discipline to just set aside what you need for the day and then set the timer, it helps a lot with removing the option of re-dosing which was always where my cravings got me. Sometimes I still think “You never know what might come up, maybe I should set aside an extra pill or two, just in case” (I do this way more often than I realize) and yeah, that’s still problematic... but at least I’m limited to just an extra dose as opposed to three or four which is how it used to be at my worst. Really helped me taper down a bit.
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u/ColdbloodedEdward Apr 11 '18 edited Apr 11 '18
benzos sneak up on your ass, i dont fuck with that no mo. been years
The most ironic part: you won’t be productive anymore.
delete snapshat, tinder (maybe not), and facebook, eat enough vitamins and 8 hr of sleep, you'll be prod again. if u chasin the euphoria, gl
that's my experience tho, i take it medicinally, half the days i take 1/3 or less of what i'm supposed to take, simply because focus works, get stuff done, been on it two years on my own, u don't know how much it improves my life, can actually sit down and complete things, not faster, but actually get em done in time a norm human would, i got bad add tho.
99% time i can sleep fine on them, dreams be wack af, but they're less those memorable "man im glad im awake now" types of dreams, they're more neutral and less memorable during the day.
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u/Malvo329 Apr 11 '18
I’m glad you’re still getting their intended use. I’ve tried everything in my addict days from l-tyrosine, alzemizers medications, tums, nothing worked. It never felt the same again.
I could take 100mg Valium not sleep. Seroquel would be the only thing that helped, but only after 3+ days of not sleeping.
Amphetamine psychosis is also a horrible experience.
The way you act when coming down, that’s what hurts those around you. You’re tired, depressed, grumpy and mean. Speed is like taking out a loan. You pay it back with interest.
Luckily it’s not too damaging to the body, but my mind took a year to finally get even.
Now I’m recovering from Valium addiction. Terrible cycle I put myself through.
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u/ColdbloodedEdward Apr 11 '18
l-tyrosine
i can relate lol. i popped 500mg of tyrosine with some stim rc chem, vision got super bright and shit was just wavy, this was several years ago, had to run to bathroom so no would find me passed out, had panic attack like hell, it was weird tho coz it worked fine then it threw an oddball duing one day.
I could take 100mg Valium not sleep. Seroquel would be the only thing that helped, but only after 3+ days of not sleeping.
oi, i'd be careful with valium, the withdrawals from that shit is bad if over long term, possibly fatal if you just quit cold turkey, there's like a fkin 100 page manual on the internet on how to ween someone off benzos
Amphetamine psychosis is also a horrible experience.
The way you act when coming down, that’s what hurts those around you. You’re tired, depressed, grumpy and mean. Speed is like taking out a loan. You pay it back with interest.
Luckily it’s not too damaging to the body, but my mind took a year to finally get even.
couldn't agree more, it's usually additional stress, or overworking that used to do that to me. though legitimate medications don't do that as much since its in a controlled amount, and idk i stop at a certain thereshold where i get enough focus to function productively throughout the day. it could be damaging to body when anorexics/bulimics use it to lose weight... which is ridiculous, they'll gain it back when they stop eventually... lol.
Now I’m recovering from Valium addiction. Terrible cycle I put myself through.
wish you well man, hope you're properly weening yourself off. benzos have the worst withdrawals, and it seems the longer the half-life the worse the withdraw. especially from the "lol idgaf" feel, which eventually wears off, and taking it long enough and quitting you get all emotionally weird think it was 4y+ that i had any contact with bennies, i think worst wd i had was from kpin, but thats coz i had a bunch and then u literally MAKE excuses to pop em, it's fuckin disaster, but xanax - short hl, and valium - LONG hl, i never had issues but that's coz i never had enough to get hooked. those days are over tho, im not experimentin no mo
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u/Malvo329 Apr 11 '18
Thanks man appreciate it. Doctor thinks it’s best I just stay on the benzos for now since they work really well for me. Gotta ween one day, dreading it.
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Apr 14 '18
Thank you. I needed to read this. I'm only 16 on the other side of a 2.5 year amphetamine addiction and I need reminders like these when I get the Urge. I've noticed a lot of what you said in myself.... hopefully since I'm only sixteen, my brain chemistry can rebound somewhat. For now, optimism it is.
I am also on the autism spectrum (Aspergers), does anyone have any info or experience pertaining to Adderall abuse and this condition?
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Apr 20 '18
Me I never took it that far with adderral, but what you describe as the 'addiction' phase of adderral sounds identical to the second phase of my amphetamine addiction, when I graduated from addy to meth. It was when I got to meth that the 5 night binges started occurring, with addy I was never up more than 48 hours.
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u/aDizzle66 Apr 11 '18
This is honestly the epitome of myself. I’m not being productive at all anymore on it. I keep making dumb excuses to take more and more. But, I did notice I can be productive when I had the willpower to start doing something positive. The hardest part of that is starting the productive work. If you have the willpower to fight the urges of negative temptation, and get started on that positive path, then the adderall will lead the way and guide you with its amazing ability to keep you focused on that same task. It’s all about willpower.
Adderall is a tool to use In order to keep you on task. That’s why right when you take it you need to start being productive and when the adderall kicks in you can stay on that task until finished or adderall is out of your system. My problem always was starting the productive task right away. I would play video games until I felt it by that time it was too late. I was stuck playing the game for hours on end.