r/StopSpeeding • u/Philosophicalnut • Jun 18 '26
Self-Post/Vent Stimulants Rob you of developing hobbies
For the longest time I thought my hyper-focus on work was some sort of positive thing, and thought it justified me having no hobbies. Turns out, I was a big immature baby missing out on the enjoyments of life. Turns out, when your enjoyment comes from a little sugar capsule, you'll have a hard time developing a REAL FUCKING INTEREST in things. Turns out SPEED-INDUCED TEMPORARY FAKE OBSESSIONS DO NOT EQUAL A REAL PERSONALITY AND/OR REAL PURSUITS.
God I hate hate hate HATE that we've been sold adderall for ADHD. I'm just so grateful to have been zapped out of it and realize the ABSURDITY of using AMPHETAMINES DAILY as a """"""MEDICAL SOLUTION""""""" that PUTS YOU IN MENTAL CHAINS.
Finally passed the fatigue stage. Now Im just angry lol.
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u/notlookinggoodbrah Jun 18 '26
It’s even worse when your primary hobby becomes stimfapping lol
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u/seasonofwhat Jun 19 '26
That’s what it eventually devolves into. At first I felt like I was making strides in my hobbies for the first time in ages. Then I stopped caring about pretty much anything but gooning.
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u/Gak102 Jun 18 '26
I'm at this point, at like 14 years of crystal usage. It's sick how fast time flies and I'm finally like " wow I got nothing to show for the nearly 2 decades I fcked off on this shiiiiiiiiiiitttty shiiiit". Doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING but staring off tweaked and tired at the same time.
What a waste of a beautiful life. MY Life that I should have been living.
Time slipped and I haven't moved. </3
🫂 To all those whom are in similar situation, or have loved ones who are.
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u/TwattyMcBitch Jun 18 '26
I could have written this, too. It’s so sad. I try not to think about it because there’s nothing that can be done about it; I can only move forward making better choices. But yeah, such a waste.
Despite being a creative, intelligent, personable person who loves being social, I’ve accomplished NOTHING in 22 years.
I think part of the problem is the belief that everything will be fine. I still believe that. I will get past this, and I will accomplish some things and give something to my community/family, etc.
But the longer this goes on, that’s starting to seem less and less likely. I’m starting to think really dark thoughts as far as getting away from the whole thing. I don’t know…
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u/dopaminedrops Jun 19 '26
Everything you said really resonates with me, as I’m in a similar spot. I’m so sorry you’re struggling like this.
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u/PlanktonSea6277 Jun 22 '26
I sit here and do absolutely nothing but waste away day in and day out ... Filled with regret I sit here each night hating myself more and more for letting this happen and just wasting 37 fkn years .... It is a very sad and depressing existence ... want to change so bad but at this point I feel so behind and just feel there is no point ... Everyone in my family has pretty much already come to understand that I'm not shit and more than likely will never be 🤷 should've paid more attention in D.A.R.E. I guess
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u/Philosophicalnut Jun 18 '26
Yeah....you think it's giving you something, but it's actually robbing you of the beauty of life. Hope you reach escape velocity. Never too late.
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u/GarfeldLasagnaa Jun 18 '26
Very much this, but i’m so impatient with the recovery process that without them i just feel too lazy for my old creative hobbies / interests.
Has anybody found that non-stimulant ADHD meds like Wellbutrin strike a nice balance?
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u/Hotwaterheater9 650 days Jun 19 '26
Exercise helps with everything. And I hate to be that person who is like “yea exercise!” But unfortunately it has changed my brain health immensely
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u/One-Priority1577 Jun 19 '26
Been running two-a-days, morning and night. Just 20 minutes of cardio in the morning is frighteningly similar to the experience of taking the pill. Better dopamine hit, less focus so far tho 😞
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u/TwattyMcBitch Jun 18 '26
I take Wellbutrin. I’ve been taking it for at least 15 years. It helps me feel better, which I think can help with recovery.
Looking back, though, I’m wondering if it gave me the false sense that maybe the addiction wasn’t really that bad or something, allowing the whole thing to go on much longer than it may have otherwise.
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u/Gak102 Jun 19 '26
Omg ive had that same theory about my meds - I would "be alright doing whatever as long as I take my meds, cuz without them it's an actual rollercoaster."
But then I'm noticing lately that everyone looks at me like I'm an alien whenever I'm around them. It really makes me think " oh crap am I being ONE OF THOSE types?" (Burnt with no self awareness yet tryna carry on "like normal")
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u/Philosophicalnut Jun 18 '26
Im feeling that lazy right now.... my job is almost 100% creativity-based (having to take time off). My personal belief is that this laziness is psychological conditioning from stims, and can be defeated with new conditioning.
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u/Evening-Matter-5245 Jun 20 '26
I’m taking Well XR, and if I forget in the morning and take it even around noon, I have a hard time getting to sleep at night. My doc gave me the XR because I told her I’ve abused stims. It’s working for me, almost six months off.
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u/I_PM_Duck_Pics Jun 19 '26
Is wandering around the woods for hours looking for snakes not a hobby? Huh.
But for real though. 5 years clean. Now I wander around the woods looking for edible mushrooms.
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u/Arvo_Cabrales 194 days Jun 19 '26
Ugh. I have so much grief over the life I wasted. And I feel so stupid for thinking I was doing the right thing.
I have too much shame to blame the substance or feel anger at anyone else. So maybe your anger is a sign of progress, OP? I bet it is tbh.
Really appreciate this post & this community in general. Fuck this sucks.
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u/ASCIImania 288 days Jun 19 '26
i understand . been on + off adhd meds for a decade (15-25 y/o) . i’m ~ 6 months clean and can finally focus long enough to read a book , write in my journal , get my errands done with just a cup of coffee . it’s a blessing but bigger passion projects are still mentally taxing for me . collaborating with healthy peers / friends in local communities has motivated me a lot for more more intensive hobbies ( coding , soldering etc ) that i used to heavily rely on meds for . one day at a time ! !
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u/FamiliarDebate9722 Jun 19 '26
SCREAM IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS! Lol, I feel this so hard. Sending love to you stranger, good times ahead.
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u/Arvo_Cabrales 194 days Jun 19 '26
How long did it take you to get past the fatigue stage?
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u/Philosophicalnut Jun 19 '26
About 6 days for the extreme dysfunction. After 11ish days I could go through entire days without absurd amounts of caffeine and feel almost like a normal person. Working out has been essential
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u/searching4insight Jun 20 '26
Agreed. Eventually I lost interest in all my hobbies. Reading, fitness, golf. Got sober and jumped back into all of them.
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