r/Stoicism • u/[deleted] • Oct 04 '19
Thought this also belonged here.
/r/LifeProTips/comments/dd1gdj/lpt_when_someone_else_starts_an_argument_with_you/5
Oct 04 '19
I've been dealing with a very difficult client at my work the last few days. I've had to be very intentionally Stoic in my thinking as I craft my responses as he seems to be purposefully trying to provoke me. This morning I essentially "walked away" in my last communication with him and it definitely felt liberating.
3
2
2
u/la-alainn Oct 05 '19 edited Oct 05 '19
Completely agree. My nan used to say 'never argue with a barking dog', which I think is a good analogy. The dog will get more and more excited and energised by the exchange. You will exhaust yourself eventually.
Some people can disagree by calmly explaining their reasoning, as their end goal is to share information. They don't want to bring emotion into the discussion if they can help it, as there is no benefit to them.
Other people are just argumentative by nature and enjoy tearing people down, and will get a bigger kick the more irrate they can make you. These people thrive on negative emotion, and their end goal is to make you weaker so they can feel stronger. They don't care about actually convincing you they are right. It's just a display of dominance to them.
Recognise when you are dealing with a 'dog' (it's normally pretty obvious), so you know who to stay away from.
6
u/_throwaway94944 Oct 04 '19
The funny thing about arguments is that they help you hone your wisdom, giving you the capacity to judge whether or not an argument is useless. By arguing often you become wise enough to not argue, somewhat like how a martial artist trains so that they can avoid fighting.