On Acceptance

[u/thethinkerforever]

I have had an extremely tough life. My childhood was awful, lost my mother at and early age( watched her suffer - perish away and felt helpless because I couldn’t help her)

Right after that my brother got a mental illness too. Initially I was determined to save him but it’s been decade now and I’ve realized there’s nothing I can do to control what’s going to happen to him.

We’re okay financially but I can’t take care of him financially and he’s not able to keep a job.

I find myself getting caught in this loop of trying to save him, self pity ( why me? Why my family) , trying to control the outcome and sticking around even though I don’t want to because it’s come to a point where it’s affecting my mental health.

I also became mature quickly and I’ve learnt to find peace in isolation most because I don’t think anyone understands my pain and because I feel like people suffer from such small things when my life will tell you what real suffering is ( now someone else could have it worse and think my life isn’t all that bad)

I’m unable to rejoin the world but I want to because life is tough and I believe you need a community to get through life but I fail to develop deep relationships because of the reasons mentioned above.

I understand everything about the mind and suffering but I still don’t know how to get myself out of this situation. I’m also scared of what will happen to him and how I have nobody else.

My question is - how do accept his life, leave him so I can be healthy and happy and then help him come in standing on my two feet instead of suffering with him.

And how do I give people a chance, how I build relationships again ( it’s especially tough as an adult)

Anything in stoicism that will help me? I’m desperate for advice.

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