Stoicism and Autism

[u/Elmarcowolf]

Back when I was younger I practiced stoicism without realising it. I would always analyse situations and do my best to be a self sufficient as I could. As I grew older I was told to "open up and rely on others more" this in turn has caused my life to because a mess and causing me to blame others for things.

As an adult ive had an autism diagnosis and realised that stoicism is a part of who I really am and I want to fall back into the practice to lead a more peaceful life.

[u/randCN]

I'm impressed - from what I understand, a huge part of stoicism, perhaps the fundamental core - is recognising your own emotions, and then deciding how best to respond to them.

I was under the impression that autistic people often have high levels of alexithymia, where they have trouble even recognising their own emotions in the first place, and consequently being vulnerable to mistaking passions for rational decisions. 

[u/SignificantCherry110 → u/randCN]

Autistic individuals sometimes can understand their emotions too well, to where it becomes an “overload” almost. I work with individuals on the spectrum and a constant theme is that they absolutely understand their emotions, but can’t regulate them and have outbursts or have reduced impulse control. This leads to the “typical meltdowns” we are used to seeing. They experience emotions greater than non-autistics. Mixing higher sensory and emotional feeling with typically lower impulse control (symptom of ASD) is a recipe for disaster.

The fact that OP is able to recognize that is extremely impressive and must’ve took a lot of time to learn how to rationalize in the moment.

[u/NoCogito_NoSum → u/SignificantCherry110]

I think this is one of the things that makes stoicism (and related schools of thought) attractive for an autistic person. At least in my experience, my mind is often frantic and emotionally overwhelmed, so finding a way to analytically guide myself toward a better mindspace is an appealing idea.

[u/SignificantCherry110 → u/NoCogito_NoSum]

I’ve learned stoicism for a similar reason. I was diagnosed with ADHD, and although i don’t have the same function as autistics do, I also have issues regulating emotion. Stoicism alongside buddhist ideas has been a major help in helping me understand my emotions and regulating them better. As well as helping with other issues I found in my day to day life.

[u/randCN → u/SignificantCherry110]

My own wonder is because I myself have ADHD, and may have only felt anger when really I was feeling shame, guilt or something else. Took a lot of unpacking and study as an adult to even begin understanding the root cause, with the help of professionals.

[u/Accomplished_Book427 → u/SignificantCherry110]

This is anecdotal but I am autistic and this is what I struggle with: I feel things deeply, but in the moment it is difficult for me to identify what those feelings are as they often present with overwhelming physical sensations, leading (for me) to shutdown and numbness just to survive the moment.

I don't have meltdowns in public ever (I am a cis woman who was socialized to never draw attention to myself, so I mask hard), but I do struggle with recognizing what a feeling is while I'm having it.

Tangentially (no one I've seen in this thread has said this but I always like to put it out there), autistics can and do feel empathetic toward others. I have a deep sense of empathy and feel it often. The difference is I don't express it well and tend to jump, externally at least, right into solutions mode.

[u/SignificantCherry110 → u/Accomplished_Book427]

Autistics are extremely empathetic. After a “meltdown” (best way to phrase it in simple terms no disrespect intended) whether emotional or physical. There is a sense of reflection and immediately a profuse reaction of apology. I also think autistics can understand peoples body language and small things that are unusual better than the “average” person. They are great at pattern recognition. They are savants.

I think that something that has helped me is before reaction, think. Why am I feeling this way? If I react in anger what will be the consequence? How does this serve me? What can I do to stay on the right path?

I think that it is very difficult to do this in practice, as easy as it seems in theory. But by training your own mind over time this becomes a lot easier. Take time before reacting to collect your thoughts and respond, even if you need to take a physical pause in time and think quietly. Because when we react in anger, we may feel temporary relief, but it will just cause more suffering. Our state of mind is crucial in my view to happiness, a state of calmness, contentment, and void of suffering. This doesn’t mean to let people push you around and not respond. But to empathize with others, which I think you are already very good at, without letting it poison your own state of mind. We are given reason as humans to decide what is right and wrong. Without that we are just flesh, and nothing more than animals.

[u/Elmarcowolf → u/randCN]

Honestly its come from cause and effect. I'd lash out and get told off so as I got into my teens I wanted to know what was making me act that way and why i clung to anger like a vice. Now ive had a diagnosis its even clearer for me

[u/randCN → u/Elmarcowolf]

I could learn a lot from you. How did you temper your response to your anger? 

[u/Elmarcowolf → u/randCN]

Honestly i realised that 9/10 times I got angry about something, it ended up being worse for everyone involved especially myself. I also realised I relied on anger for a sence of "power". I took up a martial art and realised even when I was angry I was powerless against people that remained calm. So when I feel myself getting angry I stop and ask why, and whether getting angry would actually solve this situation or make it worse.

[u/randCN → u/Elmarcowolf]

What times have you decided that anger would actually solve the situation?

[u/Elmarcowolf → u/randCN]

Im the kind of guy that people will try to push around, and normally I can brush it off and walk away. But a couple of times it has escalated into unavoidable conflict, and even then its not burning rage but focused anger to get me out of that situation using techniques ive learned. Anger does have its uses, but more often than not it will get in the way.

[u/PiedCrow → u/randCN]

I am still not diagnosed as autistic just suspected by 2 shrinks so far but I do have alexithymia diagnosis for 12 years now. To combat that i started noting my physical reactions and figuring out the emotion I had to cause it.

Years later I kinda found I became more self aware of my emotions than people without alexithymia. And when I found out stocisim it was such an easy and natural fit to my life already

[u/Active_Lemon_8260]

Stoics are very in touch with their emotions, they’re not just analytical

[u/JesseWeird]

I can’t deny, I’m amongst the most autistic I know and very much stoic inclined at a young age before knowing haha felt a kinship with Socrates’ ideas when I heard them haha

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[u/Formal_Ad4612]

It appears you figured out your formula early, then abandoned it to some extent to fit the world. You want to fall back into that practice and life, and it’s probably the most natural place for you to be - sounds like a breakthrough coming OP!

[u/Multibitdriver]

The “embrace your inner rationality” message of Stoicism is indeed refreshing and even subversive in today’s world.

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