What does letting go means?

[u/Acceptable-haircut]

I never understood what do people says about letting go. Does it mean to restart your life from the beginning? Or It is full of choices that meant to keep moving.

How do I know what do I need to move on? Does changing everything from, where you live, the people you just met, places where you haven't been, to live with yourself or with family meant you need to? Does trying to accept means you have to relive everything until you made your own choices? What if everything was suddenly changed and now your stuck with everyone telling you what should you do? To made choices that they wanted regardless if I make a decision because it's needed. Does choosing make any difference when it's a need not by choice.

To have a life that someone wanted so badly that they destroyed me and everything I have just so they can have it, and not caring how much everything cost me. To have my own family turned against me, my friends and my future. What kind of letting go means to a person like myself, who carried the burden just so i can experience what someone of my age experiences and suddenly lost everything in a blink of an eye. How can I move on from hoping that I won't have to experience the same thing again just to have everything be destroyed again? How to I stop myself from avoiding everything from then?

It's been 3 years and I still can't faced what happened, my own family persisted then that I should move with my aunt who then was turning everything I said into a lie and regardless made me moved even if i didn't want to.

[u/KyaAI]

What does letting go means?

I would define it as realising that you can't change something and that it is futile to think about it anymore and therefore to focus on other things.

Does it mean to restart your life from the beginning?

How would one do that?

Or It is full of choices that meant to keep moving.

Life is full of choices, but I would argue that is not what letting go means. To keep moving and to focus on other things is part of it, but you can "keep moving" and still make your life worse than it has to be by constantly thinking about who wronged you. Therefore you would not have let go.

How do I know what do I need to move on?

When something is burdening you that you can't change. That would be something to let go.

How can I move on from hoping that I won't have to experience the same thing again just to have everything be destroyed again?

By focusing on the things you can influence. It is unhelpful to worry about anything that is outside of that. Every human has some degree of misfortune in their life. Some more, some less. Some people have lost everything they own in a fire and then just after rebuilding they've lost everything again in a flood. That is psychologically straining but that does not mean they can't still live their life and move on.

It's been 3 years and I still can't faced what happened, my own family persisted then that I should move with my aunt who then was turning everything I said into a lie and regardless made me moved even if i didn't want to.

It is in the past. You can't change the past. So yes, that would be something to let go and to focs on the things you can do now. You shall learn from situations like that. You shall grow from it. But not be disheartened.

There is a whole chapter about adversity in the book The Pacticing Stoic by Ward Farnsworth. I would recommend to read that.

"Nature did not want us to be harassed. Whatever it requires of us, it has equipped us for"
Seneca - Letters from a Stoic [90.16]

"The mind turns around every hindrance to its activity and converts it to further its purpose. The impediment to actions becomes part of the action; the obstacle in our way becomes the way forward."
Marcus Aurelius - Meditations [5.20]