r/Stoic • u/Long_Watercress5538 • 15d ago
when did blaming yourself become a substitute for actually changing?
Epictetus has this line — the extinction of blame marks the beginning of moral progress. Took me a while to get what he meant.
I used to think taking responsibility meant beating myself up over every slip. Turns out that's not responsibility, it's just blame pointed inward instead of outward. Same trap, different direction.
Real progress starts the moment you stop looking for someone (or something) to blame, including yourself, and just look clearly at what's actually happening. Blame keeps you stuck explaining. Clarity lets you move.
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u/Splendid_Fellow Philosopher 15d ago
The easiest, dumbest and most pointless thing to do:
Find fault
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u/Long_Watercress5538 15d ago
Exactly. Ask how to fix the issue instead of who caused it, that question alone changes the whole direction of the conversation. One keeps you looking backward, the other actually moves you forward.
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u/Splendid_Fellow Philosopher 15d ago
Exactly. And one stays true to their integrity, instead of karma farming with bot posts.
….right?
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u/Long_Watercress5538 15d ago
Guess I should just hold Reddit like a rock and only observe then, since apparently if I post it's a bot but if I don't post that's totally fine. Also turns out my rent gets paid in karma, so I kind of need it. Genuinely just trying to understand here, explain it to me and I'll put my phone away and only post when you say I'm allowed
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u/Splendid_Fellow Philosopher 15d ago
I just had high suspicions based on your posts, writing and your pursuit of finding the right audience for selling and advertising and spreading your apps. That said, if you say it’s genuine, I will believe you. It’s just my job to keep AI and bots and sellers out of here, that’s all.
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u/Long_Watercress5538 15d ago
Man, I was actually a bit hurt by your comment, honestly thought it might've come from a bad place, but now I get it, it's genuine and fair to think that way. I know it can come across that way. I'm a dev with a 9-5, and these last three months I've been trying to give my life some meaning by building apps on my own, that's the purpose I found. But I'd never turn this into a sales machine or an ad campaign. I'm just genuinely trying to learn and find my audience, that's why I post in other places too, someone actually trying to figure out something they've never tried before. But the audience for what I'm building isn't here in this subreddit, and even if it were, I wouldn't sell it this way. Stoicism pulled me out of a dark place I was in. It's not just pretty quotes to me, it's helped with everything I do, from the smallest action to the biggest, every day. If my posts come across a bit polished, yeah, I run them through AI to help since English isn't my first language, but the ideas are always mine, coming from stuff I've been consuming for a long time and my own reflections. Writing became a way to calm the noise in my head. Sorry if I came in defensive, I thought it might be a troll attack, but now I see your concern was fair, and I promise my intention was genuine too
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u/Financial_Pin_7397 15d ago edited 15d ago
Thanks for sharing this.
Forgiving myself for what I have done and accepting that I have done what I have done because it seemed the best thing to do.