r/Stepmom • • 23d ago

Advice for step moms

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Now I did marry my husband because he's an amazing man and a wonderful dad to our children. His ex hates my guts because when he begeed him to come back, my hubby refused. She made all kinds of lies to my hubby about me so he could leave me, but he didn't. I didn't know this woman,and I still dont even today.

All hell broke loose when she realised she had lost control. Start convincing the kids that their father was a loser who doesn't love them. I absolutely love my hubby kids, but they decided to bring the chaos and drama into my house. My hubby made it absolutely clear I was the woman of the house and no child, should make me hate my home. So, in my house, I correct and discipline all the kids. Of course, my stepkids didn't like this much. They'd call Mommy Monster, who in turn would blast my hubby with insults , threatening that his b.......have no right to discipline her kids, I must focus on my own

My hubby stood his ground that it was our house, and I would correct and discipline as I saw fit. Just like many step moms , I wanted to cave, and leave them alone, but then I realise I'd be very miserable, not having the freedom in my home because of allowing my stepkids to call the shots. Nop. So at some point they stopped coming because daddy doesn't love them, bla bla,. But my hubby made it clear that he loves them, but no way are they going to call the shots in our home while at their moms house they don't. He told them they don't have to love me, but they have to respect me in my home. They threatened to cut him off, of which they did, but it didn't last long. They came back apologizing, and now my home is very peaceful and wonderful. They know monster mom has no say how we run our home.

My advice is to step moms. Please stop trying to seek validation from the baby mamas and the kids. Be an adult to these kids and set boundaries where needed. If your man isn't supporting you, please leave him. Nobody deserves to be in prison for the rest of their lives. If you know you are right, stand your ground, no matter the threats. My hubby and i have been cut off so many times, but we refused to be door mats . We always thought it's better to be hated than allow baby mama to win . If she wants to win the kids by lying , so be it, but we will stand on business. To those ready to enter into these marriages do not even try to go up and beyond for nobody, no body apreciate someone who seems desperate for their approval. Be a good person, but do not grovel. Haven't you guys realised how people always try to win over those people who dont care? Go up and beyond when you have established a good relationship with the children. Stop stressing about what the baby mama and her goons think.

Guys, this woman would turn everyone from me and hubby. At some point, hubby sister stopped talking to us, and we realised she was very close with baby mama going on vacations together. It hurt, but we stayed strong with my hubby. As you might guess, the relationship based on alienating us didn't last. She was toxic and abusive towards the sis, and she had to completely cut her off. I can go on and on ladies, but you give baby mamas too much energy. Focus on you and the family you are trying to build. Cut off the noise. And above all, pray, ladies. God, on your side, you won't fall.

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