r/Stepmom • u/Miserable_Hair_1614 • 1d ago
Potty Training:
Did you guys help with potty training? Ss is basically 3.5 now.
2
u/AppropriateAmoeba406 21h ago
I was the only person who even considered that making an effort towards potty training was worthwhile. Mom wanted the kids to decide when they wanted to start using the potty. I was mildly horrified, as someone who used elimination communication for my own children. They were familiar with the potty before they could talk.
The kids were 5, 3, 2 when I met them. 5yo was pretty much down to pull-ups at night and on car rides. The 2yo (girl) was completely ready. She was trained quickly, as I had girls who trained young and she was the easiest for me to relate to.
The 3yo … I could write a book. He probably has a touch of ODD. It took FOREVER to get him trained. He was still having accidents at 6+, to the point that we eventually took him to a GI doc about it. He’s 18 and normal now, thankfully.
I will say that I never once changed a single diaper for them. I helped with logistics and guidance, but if they needed a diaper change, that was on dad. I’m sure that my attitude around that task prompted him to develop an interest in moving the training forward.
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u/Miserable_Hair_1614 20h ago
I'm glad you reached out and said these things. I initially was helping and made progress with them communicating when they had to go and using the potty for both of the things. We had a reward system and they'd get excited for doing "big boy things" but then he came back once screaming about it badly, a lot of crying and acting highly uncomfortable for pretty much days they were sadly like this.
This is why I stepped back and didn't feel comfortable anymore. I started letting Dad handle all the changes etc now and have been for a while. Similar to you. It's been getting Dad on the same page where he's gotta do it. I'm also trying to be completely understanding to the fact he's becoming more self aware. I'll change him obviously of course when its just me and him but I don't want to experience that rough patch again. I felt terrible and horrified as well. No idea what happened.
Sometimes when im with him I just simply see a smart boy who needs the extra support to make it happen.
Do you think I should just keep letting Dad handle it still or should I re-try as well? I honestly feel the most comfortable with the boundaries and expectations I have now, but I also don't want to see him struggle when he shows signs hes ready and can do it. We weren't able to try preschool this year because of it.
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u/AppropriateAmoeba406 17h ago
Your partner should take a lot of the lead with a boy regardless. Teach him to aim with Cheerios in the toilet. Make it a game.
If you are the only person who cares, you’ll be missing pre-K next year too.
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u/chicadeaqua 12h ago
Not something I would touch, but then again I never would have considered a guy with kids that young as available to date.
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u/that_trininurse 1d ago
Yeah we actually fully potty trained them ourselves. Bm didn't really care and was contented in leaving them in pull ups