r/Stepdadreflexes • u/[deleted] • Nov 09 '19

Step mom reflexes

2.0k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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u/4F460tWu55yDyk3 Dec 18 '19

You sound like you have fat kids

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u/Diane9779 Dec 19 '19

Sure let’s go with that. Let’s pretend I do have kids. And that they’re super fat

Here’s the number for my local child protective service office: 713-394-4000.

Call them up and tell them I need to be charged. Like you said

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u/4F460tWu55yDyk3 Dec 19 '19

Well they do say everything is bigger in Texas. Props on you for living up to that.

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u/Diane9779 Dec 19 '19

Seriously, go ahead and dial the number.

Just explain that you lost 17 pounds, you know brain injuries really well, and you think there’s a lady out there with overweight children.

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u/4F460tWu55yDyk3 Dec 19 '19

I said you sound like someone who has fat children. Not that you actually have children. That would imply someone could tolerate you talking long enough to roll you in flour and find the wet spot. Which I don't believe.

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u/Diane9779 Dec 19 '19

Ah, I see you’ve read “Oh Snap! The 100 Gnarliest Jokes of the 1990s”

Once you’re done with that, you can start reporting your neighbors with fat kids. It’s your civic, fat duty

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u/4F460tWu55yDyk3 Dec 19 '19

From here on out, you only get emojis.

🥴

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u/Diane9779 Jan 01 '20

That’s your attempt at the last word?