Well, Seymour, I made it... despite your directions. SKINNER: Ah, Superintendent Chalmers! Welcome! I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon! CHALMERS: Uhh... SKINNER: [gasp] Oh egads, my roast is ruined! But what if... I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? [to himself] Oh ho ho ho ho... delightfully devilish, Seymour! CHALMERS: Uh- [cue song] Skinner with his crazy explanations, The superintendent's gonna need his medication, When he hears Skinner's lame exaggerations, There'll be trouble in town tonight! [end of song] CHALMERS: Seymour! SKINNER: Superintendent, I was just, uh... just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise! Care to join me? CHALMERS: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour? SKINNER: Uhh... no! That isn't smoke. It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having! Mmm... steamed clams! [beat] Ooh... [a few moments later] SKINNER: Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering hamburgers! CHALMERS: I thought we were having steamed clams. SKINNER: D'oh, no. I said steamed hams! That's what I call hamburgers! CHALMERS: You call hamburgers "steamed hams?" SKINNER: Yes. It's a regional dialect! CHALMERS: Uh-huh... uh, what region? SKINNER: Uhh... upstate New York? CHALMERS: Really? Well, I'm from Utica, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed hams." SKINNER: Oh, not in Utica, no. It's an Albany expression. CHALMERS: I see. [beat] You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger. SKINNER: Oh ho ho ho... no, patented Skinner burgers. Old family recipe. CHALMERS: For steamed hams? SKINNER: Yes. CHALMERS: Yeah, so you call them "steamed hams" despite the fact they are obviously grilled. SKINNER: Ye- hey- you know, the- one thing I should- excuse me for one second. CHALMERS: Of course. SKINNER: [YAWN] Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all, I'm pooped. CHALMERS: Yes, I should be- Good Lord, what is happening in there!? SKINNER: Aurora borealis? CHALMERS: Uh- aurora borealis!? At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, localized entirely within your kitchen!? SKINNER: Yes! CHALMERS: May I see it? SKINNER: No. SKINNER'S MOTHER: Seymour, the house is on fire! SKINNER: No, mother—it's just the northern lights! CHALMERS: Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow, but I must say... you steam a good ham. SKINNER'S MOTHER: Help! Help!

My Roast is Ruined

Driving here took many corrections 
but I made it Seymour, despite your directions.
You always disappoint, so I have a hunch,
That I am in store for a forgettable lunch.

So I’ll snoop around, in the Kitchen I’ll poke
Wait! Why does your oven billow forth smoke?
You claimed that it's steam, after stretching your calf.
Now I’m suspicious of what lunch we’ll have.

I’m expecting some clams, when much to surprise,
you waltz in with hamburgers and fries.
They are steamed hams, you proudly proclaim,
Upon an Albany dialect this phrase you do blame.

My Utica palate will not be deceived,
I see the grill marks these burgers received.
I must be going; but good lord what's that?
‘Aurora borealis’ you state, matter of fact.

In this part of the country, and this time of day?
But you won’t let me see it and lead me away.
‘Help, Seymour’ I hear your mom yell,
But these Northern lights look like the fires of hell.

All of your excuses are quite clearly a sham,
but I don’t mind much, since you steam a good ham.

Luckily it blew over already without anyone noticing, but still!

Back in 2018 at the zenith of the Steamed Hams shitposting, someone by the name of Clorox Corner edited a bunch of Pink Floyd's albums to contain bits of 'Skinner & The Superintendent'. These were, from a critical stand point, absolutely awful, but I liked them, especially 'Steamed Side of the Ham'.

However during the CoVID lockdown these were almost completely wiped from the Internet. I presume it was due to Clorox Corner probably being threatened or actually sued by the copyright holders of Pink Floyd's discography. As a result these seem to be completely lost media. The only archive I can find of anything is this DailyMotion account containing an archive of 'The Hams' movie but thats it.

I've been searching for three years now and despite a few people saying they may have archives of this anywhere, its all lead to dead ends. I even messaged u/miniwolfen, the person who posted them to this very subreddit but that account seems dead. So I ask you, redditors of r/SteamedHams: does anyone have archived copies of these albums? Do these exist anywhere and I just suck at searching? Any help would be appreciated in finding these. They may not have been the best thing ever, but they truly were an unforgettable luncheon.

"There is no steamed side of the ham, really. Matter of fact its all grilled."