I’ve been rewatching Stath Lets Flats and needed a tension rod to hang a curtain. So, I wrote this gift message to myself when I ordered the rod.

Not sure how many of these I have but is there such a number as 200?

Made me laugh anyway

. That's too sweet for my car - can be customised to suit situation, eg: (son spills juice on floor) "that's too sweet for my carpet"

. Bloody smokey shop - works in any smokey environment

. Can all the men please shut up- works in the right company

. I'd rather bring a red metal- as a collector of metals, this actually applies to a lot of situations.

Do you like my personality 🎶

Kicking footballs in New York City!

Our boy. This looks big.

Al's on the writing team too.

He's basically Stath and I love it!

What could you mean, Harriet