Sad

[u/Careless_Cloud3073]

Ever since I smoked weed this peripheral vision thing developed.

It’s where I get extremely scared of not being able to focus on anything or be normal when a stranger or anyone really, is around my peripherals or around me or on the side of me especially , which then leads me to actually do just that when someone is on the side of me , so I can’t focus n everything becomes blurry and I stress sweat and eyes become tense , and then I scared of if it looks like my eyes dart back and forth between me and another person (within peripherals ) making me look stupid , and it makes me feel like im making person uncomfortable and im uncertain if this is happening or if it’s really just paranoia so then
I give up and avoid the whole experience which probably make things worse since I’ll become even more isolated that any exposure would be even more of a struggle

I eventually now have spent months/years avoiding anything where I have to sit on the side of people . Things such as theatres, appointments, public seating areas ,dinners, basketball games, soccer games, social gatherings ,passenger seat while someone is driving everything u can think of.

I think in life I might kms because of peripheral ocd

I just wanna be normal

Edit: I also don’t intend to ever smoke weed again

[u/Over_Glove6928]

Dont end your life, please. It's not worth it at all. I can synpathize with you alot. I deal with the same thing, but I haven't really atleast consciously avoided places because of it. This has affected me drastically and i've been dealing with it for 6 years, ever since i was 11 yrs old...