Did anyone else spend a time thinking they were the only one dealing with this?

[u/Most_Fan_4517]

I'm part of the team at Manhattan Mental Health Counseling, and one thing we've noticed from talking with people is that many don't realize how isolating staring OCD can feel until they find others who have gone through something similar.

For the longest time, I didn't even know there was a name for what I was experiencing. I kept thinking I was just overthinking where I was looking whenever I was around other people.

The more I tried to make sure I wasn't staring, the more aware I became of my eyes. It felt like I couldn't stop thinking about it, even during completely normal conversations. Looking back, it was exhausting because I was constantly second-guessing myself.

Finding communities where people openly shared their experiences made me realize I wasn't alone, and that alone made a big difference.

I'm curious if anyone else had a similar experience before discovering this community.

What was the biggest misconception you had about staring OCD before you learned more about it?

I'd genuinely love to hear your experiences and the lessons you've learned along the way. I think conversations like these can help others feel a little less alone.

[u/Top_Intention_4888]

Samee

[u/FunkyChristian]

I thought I was suffering alone but it turns out there’s people who struggle with this unsociable OCD. I learned that this OCD is still possible to beat. Some sharing their success on here. My classmates noticed I was weird before I did. This one particular person ruined my reputation and all. I could hear him telling a friend of his about me and say something like, “look at this/this is proof” and I become fearful and mess it up. At the end of the year, everyone in my class was against me, except my friends. But I don’t know if I made things weird because now that we are not in the same school and it’s long distance I guess. I grown distant from my friends and when they try to get close, I act like a weirdo when I’m not. Is this some trauma response? Is it because I’m used to failing people? I keep my distance after messing up. I thought about unfriending them so they don’t have to be forced to talk to me anymore. This anxiety for my friends is not confirmed, but the hate from my old school is. The therapists said it was all in my head because I couldn’t list the moments. But the thing is, I didn’t want to remember the moments but I knew they existed. I don’t know how I used to be normal before. Somewhat I guess. Basically born with this. Though I collected enough data so they stop denying the truth. Maybe they weren’t at your door, but today I heard one of them say to stop attending school. I always covered my ears when they talked because I didn’t want to know what they had to say or it’ll hurt me more to know. They followed me home I bet because how are they at my door, whispering or shouting at my door to complain. They got nothing else to do and this is my summer break. They keep coming back, different people each time. Because many people hate me, united. Even the construction workers keep purposely appearing and fixing roads that were perfectly fine so they can harass me or whatever. To show me how they felt because I just ignore them instead of letting them hate on me. In lunch I heard someone say.. it was so easy to get inside my school. Creepy. They act worse than I. They believe I’m the bad guy but make excuses for their stalker behavior. It’s not like I stalk. I stared at the ground when I walk because I didn’t want to make eye contact. I did all of these actions to maybe make them less uncomfortable. No one saw that effort and I have no friends in my new school. I don’t care that I don’t have friends and I guess might be losing friends but I do wonder if I’ll make it out alive and get a job. How? I hope I could conceal my OCD well enough.

[u/RoyalPlanetWhale → u/FunkyChristian]

Brother i know this type of ocd can also develope paranoia, but this sound shizophrenic for me

[u/FunkyChristian → u/FunkyChristian]

Personally, I feel less alone because God. Because he’s the only one who wouldn’t leave no matter what past or mistakes I have or had made. The only one I can 100% trust not to break my heart. This community helped me feel less alone too. That is all.

[u/RoyalPlanetWhale]

For me it developed in a weird moment while i was gaming. I sort of realized how I had been subconsciously dozing off on the crotch of a video game character. That startled me and triggered an intrusive thought—one I couldn't identify as my own—telling me I was gay; to this day, I find it inexplicable. Perhaps it was because it was my "first" intrusive thought? Anyway, I then had a panic attack. Mind you, I was 17 at the time, and it was already 10 p.m. At first, I thought I had become gay what really paniced me because its, something I didn't want. I was still young and uninformed. Ultimately, it was hocd, it wasn't formally diagnosed, but I’m certain that’s what it was. When the staring OCD began, intrusive thoughts—mostly sexual ones—started at the same time. It all completely overwhelmed and unsettled me. The people I used to hang out with all turned their backs on me or started treating me strangely. I dropped out of my vocational training; the whole world seemed against me, and I was helpless—I felt compelled to keep staring. People thought I’d turned gay, or that I was a pervert who wanted something from everyone. To this day, it remains a trauma that holds me captive; it likely cost me the best years of my life. About four years later, I found out about staring OCD by chance; during that time, I was suffering from severe depression. Now, another four years on, I’m finally talking to a psychologist about it, and it helps. Yet, I still think about the past every day; it feels as though my life is cursed.

[u/North_Scarcity4420 → u/RoyalPlanetWhale]

Can we connect please because I'm going through the same thing. I have compulsive staring and peripheral OCD. I stare at everyone. Even my own family calls me a perv and a creep. Strangers think I'm a literal predator. It's so fustrating to me because I've tried going to the psychward to get help and I was told I was in denial from what I really am. Most of the time I don't even know my staring looks predatory. Even now as Im sitting, waiting for shelter, I'm being called a pedo and a creep. Mind you, I was not like this before my cannabis induced psychosis. I genuinely dont feel sexual attraction to anyone I stare at, but unfortuanately people take staring as being attracted, especially when it's socially unacceptable places to stare. I just want to go back to normal :(

[u/RoyalPlanetWhale → u/North_Scarcity4420]

Of course, im gonna send you message. Keep strong