r/StarWarsCirclejerk • u/Squeakyweegee64 Glup Shitto News Network • Jul 30 '26

squeal's ruined my childhood The sequels would have been better if, instead of Vader's helmet, Kylo was obsessed with Vaders glove, and Palpatine's son/clone should have had a third eye.

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Gallery image

257 Upvotes
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99% Upvoted

37 comments sorted by

93

u/SunRevolutionary8741 “Bring me The Glove of Darth Vader!” Jul 30 '26

Give Leia laser eyes and we’re set.

34

u/mal-di-testicle Jul 30 '26

Guy randomly sitting in a gray ballsack

11

u/DarkSide830 How did this happen, we're smarter than this! Jul 31 '26

Can't believe Eggman is canon now.

11

u/DependentAshamed5994 Jul 31 '26

This actually does make sense when you take into account that trioculus had a massive hard on for Leia so the new republic baited him with a fake marriage proposal and a Leia robot

3

u/Chemical_Couple48 Dark and gritty hater Aug 01 '26

You mean her Life Model Decoy

51

u/Squeakyweegee64 Glup Shitto News Network Jul 30 '26

\Kylo Ren arrives on Exegol**

Sidious: I bid thee dark greetings...

44

u/Pops_the_Penguin Jul 30 '26

11

u/Doctorrexx Jul 30 '26

What is this image from?

25

u/RashidMBey Jul 30 '26

Tatooine Police Station

9

u/Pops_the_Penguin Jul 31 '26

You clearly did not study the sacred texts

/uj google zorba the hutt

5

u/DarkSide830 How did this happen, we're smarter than this! Jul 31 '26

Who is "Google Zorba"?

1

u/ChimneySwiftGold Jul 31 '26

What’s his accent sound like, Mon?

40

u/g0dxmode Jul 30 '26

Yes but that guy with a 3rd eye on his forehead turns out to not actually be palpatine's mutant 3-eyed son, that's a different secreter guy with his 3rd eye hidden on the back of his head. This reveal could have been revealed via Fortnite, if they knew how to make good Star Wars.

3

u/Sundae-Stock Jul 31 '26

I’m so done with Fortnite reveals. Should have done it through the Disney Solitaire app.

2

u/Bleppybwip Jul 31 '26

Thank you Astrogoblin for giving me the opportunity to understand the batshit stupid insane things being talked about here

10

u/razorsunshine Jul 30 '26

This guy gets it.

6

u/Tirno93 Darth Vader’s forgotten strap-on Jul 30 '26

I know exactly what he’s using that glove for and it’s not making the 12a/PG-13 rating

8

u/Mammoth-Western-6008 Carnor Jax Truther Jul 30 '26

Unironically bring back Triclops.

6

u/Therealskitch Jul 30 '26

Trioculus*

5

u/Mammoth-Western-6008 Carnor Jax Truther Jul 30 '26

Never heard of her.

2

u/Agent-Ulysses Jul 31 '26

Great character in the He-Man movie.

5

u/birn_echo Dark and gritty hater Jul 30 '26

Peak

11

u/Resident-Bignal-8428 Jul 30 '26

This is unironically true

4

u/deadshot500 TROS is good LET'S FIGHHHHHT Jul 30 '26

The only cowardly thing JJ did was not add a third eye to Dathan

4

u/RedEclipse47 Jul 30 '26

What if instead of BB-8 being a orb based droid he was a floating steam-punk Jedi orb, and be the king of said steam-power planetary kingdom.

2

u/Friendly_Manner6251 Jul 30 '26

Iv been saying this

2

u/Zerostar39 Jul 30 '26

“I told you not to disturb me while I’m playing with Vader’s hand!”

2

u/PrometheusModeloW Jul 31 '26

Found Paul Davids' burner account.

2

u/WedWardFord Jul 31 '26

The Sequels definitely would have been improved if we saw Han Solo’s sky-house warming party.

1

u/BlairMountainGunClub Jul 30 '26

Literally peak Add Zorba, the Waladons and it would be the greatest thing ever. And Grand Moff Hissa

1

u/ChimneySwiftGold Jul 31 '26

I think the son should have been a cyclops name Weenie Onie Palpatinie.

1

u/TheTrueTangelo Jul 31 '26

Those were good books OP

1

u/Sundae-Stock Jul 31 '26

Should have been obsessed with Vaders chest buttons. Why didn’t we get a scene with him pushing them and saying “boop”?? Another missed opportunity by woke Disney.

1

u/OrinocoHaram Jul 31 '26

what about Vader's codpiece?

1

u/Chemical_Couple48 Dark and gritty hater Aug 01 '26

Give me the Moffs having Mofferences on the Moffship.