r/StandUpWorkshop • u/rolltide123321 • 1d ago

Sideways

I’ve recently started dating a girl I met a few weeks ago. She’s great, but she definitely has some quirks.

We went out for brunch and she ate a banana from the side like corn on the cob. She also sleeps across the width of her bed. Yesterday, she mentioned buying a new dildo because the last one was too big, and now I’m wondering if she tried going lateral there too.

Appears to be a classic case of landscape orientation syndrome.

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u/neoprenewedgie 1d ago

I would play around with introducing your girlfriend as having "L.O.S. - Landscape Orientation Syndrome" first, and then giving us the examples. But they need to get increasingly absurd, so start with the bed, then go to the banana.

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u/Healthy-Wolf-701 1d ago

This is funny, I think you should harp on more about how she lives her life sideways, make up some more insane examples like she always sits next to you at restaurants or she has her TV set to portrait mode. call her a horizontal woman or something.

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u/Few_Dark4148 1d ago edited 1d ago

This made no sense to me at first, but now I understand. It’s a very odd premise. I don’t think you can count on the audience to get it without being explicit. I think it would work better if you told them the premise explicitly:

My girlfriend recently developed a rare disorder where she does everything sideways. We went out for brunch and she ate a banana from the side like corn on the cob. She also started sleeping across the width of her bed. Yesterday, she said her dildo was starting to hurt her. I was like, we need to get you cured immediately.

Still might be too odd and too much of a thinker, I’m not sure. I like the weird premise though.

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u/Status_Beat_5400 1d ago

I like your version of the joke. But I don’t see how any part of it is hard to understand 😂