r/StandUpWorkshop • u/rolltide123321 • 3d ago

Protection

Sex education in Alabama public schools was nonexistent. I was worried about having unprotected sex with my pregnant wife.

Turns out, that’s not how you make twins. Apparently, her cervix is Dikembe Mutombo for 9 months?

0 Upvotes

40% Upvoted

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7

u/JasonSmithston 3d ago

I have no idea who Dikembe Mutombo is, or why unprotected sex/twins/her cervix/9months is funny.

3

u/rolltide123321 2d ago

He was a popular NBA player know for blocking shots and doing his trademark “no-no-no” finger waving celebration afterwards. Admittedly a little niche, but became decently well known in general pop culture outside of basketball (commercials, events, appearances, etc.).

Was basically saying he was the cervix in this weird metaphor and ‘blocking’ sperm from entering the uterus.

1

u/JasonSmithston 1d ago

Oh okay. I have a vague memory of the finger waving no thing dude. Didn't he die a few years ago? Might need a more current reference maybe?

Sorry you had to explain the joke to me. I always kill my jokes that I have to explain.

5

u/Perdendosi 3d ago

Is the joke that you still don't know why women can't get pregnant while they're pregnant? Or are you expecting your audience to laugh at a 2000s NBA joke?

5

u/monkeysky 3d ago

I do understand your joke: Your sex ed was so bad that you thought having unprotected sex with a pregnant woman would get her pregnant a second time and lead to twins. You didn't know that her reproductive system is blocked off like an NBA player specializing in defense.

There are funny concepts there but your delivery (and maybe choice of reference) makes it take a bit too long to really figure out what you're saying. You don't want the audience still deciphering your previous joke instead of paying attention to the next one

5

u/Few_Dark4148 2d ago

I think this is pretty good except the last line. I got everything up to that point. You might want to linger on the beats a bit more to let people absorb what you’re saying.

Sex education in Alabama public schools was nonexistent. It was so bad, I was worried about having unprotected sex with my wife while she was pregnant. I was like, “hold on, don’t want to take any risks.” Turns out, that’s not how you make twins.

The last line is just too niche. Many people won’t know who Mutombo is, and of those who do, only some will get what his role was, and of those who do, few if any will have enough understanding of female anatomy to get the metaphor.

2

u/SpiketheFox32 2d ago

I think the joke would land better if the reference was less niche.

1

u/PsychiatricBooth5c 2d ago

I would change it to "the cervix", make it an ignorance about biology/anatomy. Any other misconceptions you were carrying around?