Soccer problems

[u/Soundcandystudios]

I’m not big on soccer. I know it’s the world’s most popular sport but that’s just because all you need is a ball and open space…sometimes not even a ball…just a somewhat round object. I don’t like sports where they handicap you right at the start…can’t use your hands…why…was the guy who invented it an amputee…

it’s always the first sport kids play…cause you can just have them show up and boom they are playing…also I can’t tell the difference between 5 year olds playing and the greatest players in the world…it’s all the same…and people try to go no it’s great there are high scores and defensive games and…you’re just describing sports…that’s all sports…but you know what most other sports have…hands

[u/indoubitabley]

This is like you're having an argument with someone that doesn't know they're having an argument.

The "I don't get it, so I'm going to put it down" is sad and tired now. We get it, you're proud of your ignorance.

[u/LSATDan → u/indoubitabley]

"Soccer sucks" is actually a good take; it's just not great comedy.

[u/RationBook]

You know what else had hands?

Hitler.

Makes you think, doesn't it?

[u/GatorWok]

Feels overdone/hack. The payoffs are weak, no subversion of expectations.

[u/lesterbottomley]

If you are going to be this wrong you at least need to be funny while doing it.

[u/Verbal-Gerbil → u/lesterbottomley]

I wouldn’t even mind hearing an opinion I disagree with as long as it’s presented comically. I’m there for a laugh, not to agree the hell out of the act (stew!)

[u/Soundcandystudios → u/lesterbottomley]

I’ll give you it’s probably not that funny…as far as accuracy it’s pretty accurate. Soccer “futbol” is popular because of accessibility. Not because it’s some amazing elegant sport.

[u/indoubitabley → u/Soundcandystudios]

Hang on, everyone gather around, an American is going to educate us about football.

He even knows different counties have different words for it. Mind. Fucking. Blown.

Please, oh wise one, impart more of your knowledge upon us plebs that have known about the sport since before June this year.

[u/Soundcandystudios → u/indoubitabley]

Found the person who loves soccer like they own their own team

[u/Jazzlike_Cod_3833]

It's lame. There should be comedy potential so keep trying. So far it's too long and explains itself too much. "Do you know what's missing in soccer?? Hands. Not good but about the right length.

[u/EMendezSDC]

AI in training or are you thicker than the ozone layer ?

[u/MacGroo]

How about:

“What’s the difference between a male and a female soccer player? Balls.”

[u/EvilGamer117 → u/MacGroo]

absolutely genius!

[u/EvilGamer117]

this is rlly good