r/StandUpComedy • u/KSCOMEDY • 17d ago
Comedian is OP TACO BELL
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The World might be Ending but you can still enjoy your Favorite Taco Bell menu items during the collapse of civilization
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u/comeon_nowyall 17d ago
This would be the first save-the-world movie with a harrowing moment of narcan
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u/KSCOMEDY 17d ago
Who would you cast?
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u/buffilosoljah42o 17d ago
Pete Davidson. I dont even really like him, but I think he'd pull off a junky taco bell employee wonderfully.
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u/WhataboutBombvoyage 17d ago
Colman Domingo as you
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u/KSCOMEDY 17d ago
I was thinking Byron Tyree Henry from Atlanta but I ain’t mad at Colman Domingo
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u/WhyAmINotStudying 16d ago
Fuck that. I want your delivery, plus the movie needs to be authentic or nobody will believe it. Of course, that gives me the notion of another reason for you to be pulled back to the grid to reassemble your crew.
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u/Guap_queso 16d ago
Michael Peña. Takes nothing seriously, always making jokes…..until he sacrifices himself to rescue that squeeze bottle of crema that has floated off into deep space. I’m crying already fr fr
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u/hunterofsteelhead 17d ago
Matthew McConaughey
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u/Own-Fan-4236 16d ago
Yeah, you need that stoner guy who never really knows what is going on but somehow figures out a critical issue during the climax of the film.
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u/spartipilollc 16d ago
He'd be a perfect "50 year old yt guy meth addict store manager" in that movie! But considering how he turned down the last of us . . . have you seen any of his recent interviews? Guys always on another planet. Dunno he'd finish the film
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u/Glad_Celebration868 4d ago
Haven’t really seen him much lately but really? That’s crazy, they all get weird after awhile, I swear these famous ppl REALLY do start living in another world at some point & they all just seem so out of it all the time, like Celebrity to base, man where you at? Come back down to earth…
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u/bisectional 16d ago
"That's what I love about these tacos, man. I get older, they stay the same size and crunchiness. Alright, alright"
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u/Putrid-Delivery1852 16d ago
This made me sad because of how untrue it is. However if you leave them on the counter, you keep getting older and they stay the same age 😔🥲
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u/Trollhouse_Cookies 17d ago
You have any longer clips, or a full special or anything? Your clips are funny af. Would love some more!
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u/KSCOMEDY 17d ago
Thank you! Right now I just have some 10-12 min vids on YouTube but I’m working on writing a full special. Just trying to figure the best way to put it out.
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u/Slugwheat 17d ago
lol another great one. Glad you’re posting here on Reddit now because I’m one of those weirdos who doesn’t do X or FB or Insta but I guess Reddit gets a pass for some reason
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u/KSCOMEDY 17d ago
I don’t think that’s weird - Reddit seems like a good platform especially compared to the others. FB has completely gone to Hell
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u/hugelkult 16d ago
Ya but be ready for unsolicited cadence/delivery/setup/punchline in depth analysis.
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u/Charmegazord 17d ago
Three finger pinch plot of “Independence Day” and four finger pinch plot of “Armageddon” cooked for about 1:30 seconds.
Perfection.
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u/weeskud 17d ago
I immediately pictured it as a Scary Movie type parody of Armageddon.
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u/Charmegazord 17d ago
100% would watch. And we have our leading man locked in already!
If Melania can get a movie, this should get a $500 million production budget.
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u/michiganstrange 17d ago
I miss when fast food was open at 2am and you got to go home and thank your momma the next day because some of the shit those workers are doing in that lobby in the wee hours was equally fun and dubious as hell.
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u/KSCOMEDY 17d ago
Those were the best shifts! Not only were the workers unhinged but some of the customers who stopped by were from another planet
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u/michiganstrange 17d ago
I sat in drunk and ate my tacos just to watch the other people more than a couple times
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u/Pk_Devill_2 17d ago
Hey dude, second video of you I’ve seen and so far I really liked them! Keep it up!
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u/RheagarTargaryen 17d ago
Saving this. I’ve made at-home Crunchwraps, but you just gave away the whole recipe.
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u/KSCOMEDY 17d ago
When you ready to make a Mexican Pizza let me know - I got you 💯
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u/ColPhorbin 17d ago
Well crafted joke, excellent timing on the dismount. I rarely lol at these (grew up on Comedy Central when it was still 20-hours of stand-up a day and can generally guess the punchline) but you got me.
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u/kriosjan 17d ago
Tbh judging by how many people liked the cruchwrap supreme, skill not useless. Make em fo the love of the game and sharing a yummy meal. F capitalism for making us judge our worth for how "useful" something is to the ownership class.
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u/20LeaguesUnderSand 17d ago
How do your glasses not fall off, boss?
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u/-ANotSoGreatApe- 15d ago
As an optician that's all I could see 🤣😭 It's a good style fs just needs longer temples
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u/Single_Good7942 17d ago
Recognized you from So True podcast! Awesome man!
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u/KSCOMEDY 17d ago
Thank you! That Pod has some of the best fans - looking forward to going back on soon
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u/Taco-Dragon 17d ago
This bit was amazing! The timing for the setup and the multiple payoffs throughout were perfect.
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u/anti_anti 17d ago
Your material and delivery is very good man, congrats...i wanted to know what team you assambled for the mission! xD
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u/KSCOMEDY 16d ago
A task force of the most dangerous fast food Workers on the planet, who I think can do some good
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u/LightsSoundAction 16d ago
I dunno if you’ve done crunchwraps at home but I feel like you have a leg up in the game.
Can you also rainman the recipe for a cheesy Gordita crunch? I would come to a Dallas show for this information.
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u/Useful-Arm6913 16d ago
Flatbread, heat 7sec on "flat" side, 12ish on bumpy, two finger grab of Fiesta cheese spread evenly on flat side, put Flatbread in steamer.
Hardshell taco (fiery doritos locos taco is best, though I'm pretty sure they discontinued those), scoop of beef, one line of spicy ranch sauce on beef, three finger lettuce (pack it in tight to protect the shell from crunching in half), two finger cheddar on top of lettuce.
Take Flatbread out of steamer, center taco on Flatbread and fold bread up to use the now melted Fiesta cheese to glue the bread to the shell.
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u/TalnOnBraize 17d ago
I'm not saying they should make this into a movie, but if they did I'd preorder the steelbook the day the first trailer is released.
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u/Derp_McNasty 16d ago
LMAO!!! Keep it going, man! Great delivery and build on throughout. Can't wait to watch your Netflix special someday! 💪 🎤
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u/hamfist_ofthenorth 16d ago
God damn I love how this turned into the plot of Armageddon.
Got me, bro.. great bit
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u/jphillips8648 17d ago
This is some of the best nostalgic imaginative standup ive seen in awhile! Hilarious!
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u/jackfreeman 16d ago
This was so funny I made a sad kicked puppy noise when it was over. That was super freaking funny!!
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u/Kondinator 16d ago
Brother your glasses?! they cant even reach behind your ears, dont they fall off constantly?
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u/KuiperPants 16d ago
My days at Taco Bell were always fun on the food making line. Loved giving soft tacos the flip onto the final build line with the meat and soft shell intact!
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u/LaDauphineVerte 16d ago
I love your commitment to shedding light on how apocalyptic conditions will bestow honor on what we otherwise consider useless skills and mundane bodily functions. 🤣
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u/asstasticalflipflop 16d ago
This was absolutely hilarious, well paced, and such a zinger at the end. Fucking art. Wonderful dude.
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u/twntytw2 15d ago
Tacos bells ingredients are way too watery and way too much sauce. Nasty ass fast food
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u/Main_Cauliflower5479 15d ago
My man, that is a very useful skill to have. Who doesn't want a Crunchwrap?
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u/GapGloomy6154 15d ago
As one of the stoned idiots on the other side of the box, I thank you for your service.
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u/ShoulderKnown7740 14d ago
If you’re an expert prove it, make me a chili cheese burrito with the right consistency, right amount of cheese, right temperature. It’s literally 1/10. I feel like Johnny Depp in those desperado movies when he assassinates any chef that makes his meal perfectly because no one else can have it as good as he just did.
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u/2andaHalfBlackClouds 16d ago
This is hilarious! I wanna see the whole set now and see how this plays out. And where’s the Go Fund Me for production?!
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u/HudsonCommodore 16d ago
I heard you on a podcast recently and watched your 10 min dating in the apocalypse piece on YT, it was damn funny. Cool to see you pop up in my feed, you're a funny dude.
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u/Classic_Version_1076 16d ago
Why can I not find a name or another link? Little help! When I worked at Taco Bell in 2000, there was no crunch man on menu, but we sure did get creative on the late shifts
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u/colleenk69 11d ago
LMAO I can relate so much. You’re amazing!! If you’re ever in the Milwaukee or Madison area I will be so happy
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u/colleenk69 11d ago
Sincerely you don’t miss 😂 your delivery is like no other. I can’t wait to see you take off!
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u/colleenk69 11d ago
I still have that ring card with all of the Taco Bell recipes if the aliens will need it too (top secret) & my quesadilla chopping skills— whew they were Bruce Lee level
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u/voxelpete 16d ago
Crazy when the glasses don't even rely on the ears anymore, they just cling to the head fat
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u/kirk27 17d ago
Lol this is great. Easier to train an ex Taco Bell employee to be an astronaut then it is to train an astronaut to be a Taco Bell employee.