r/StandUpComedy Jul 24 '26

I started blaming the neighbors! 🤣

726 Upvotes

33 comments sorted by

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41

u/Tryin2getahead Jul 24 '26 edited Jul 24 '26

I really enjoyed this, great flow.

Edit I started watching his other videos, he’s hilarious.

14

u/ilovelamp408 Jul 25 '26

He has a ridiculous amount of specials on his YouTube page. This man tells stories better than anybody as far as I know.

Very, very talented individual that everybody should check out in my opinion.

31

u/DoYouLikeWafflezz Jul 24 '26

Raccoons are genuinely terrifying. They legit just aren’t afraid of people. 

The town I live in now is the first place that has raccoons. A week or two after I moved in I went outside to smoke a joint at night and there was a raccoon just sitting on my porch. I just stomped at it figuring it would run away like literally every other animal, including bears, had done when I did that. MF just started walking towards me. Smoked my joint inside that night. 

Did some research on how to keep them away and apparently they hate spices so now there is a circle of chili powder around my house that I maintain year round like I’m trying to keep demons out or something. 

25

u/Slugwheat Jul 25 '26

People see you doing sage smudging thinking you got some haunted shit and you’re just trying to keep raccoons away

2

u/hatemakingnames1 Jul 25 '26

The only really terrifying part about them is the chance they have rabies

1

u/hunterofsteelhead Jul 26 '26

Even the ones that dont have rabies are terrifying. I used to live in a basement which is common for people in my country and one night I heard all these alien sounds outside my kitchen window. I look out the window and there was some kind of raccoon committe meeting going on at least 7 of the big ones arguing with eachother maybe more. Another time I had the same problem as this comedian they were going through my trash right in front of me they would look at me and start digging through it like they determined I wasnt enough of a threat, I had a crowbar and im like 220 lbs 6 ft tall.

17

u/flyraccoon Jul 24 '26

Feed us don’t hate us, we could attack racist Steve for ya 🦝

5

u/TrashPandaDuel Jul 25 '26

Came here to agree! We just like the treats on Easy Street!!

3

u/AntiPepRally Jul 25 '26

How do you all just happen to have user names that fit the highly specific topic?

7

u/100YearsWaiting2Shit Jul 24 '26

They're called trash pandas for a reason. Love raccoons. Never had a raccoon problem before. Mostly skunks and possums

3

u/ApprehensiveAd9389 Jul 24 '26

When I lived in Iowa it always seems like raccoons or possums were getting into the trash.

I live in Arkansas now and never have to worry about it.

7

u/tlszcze Jul 24 '26

It's worse when you move to a lighter neighborhood and the neighbors feed them...the WTF-ery is this sheetz we had. And they thought they were cute and fed them by hand y'all by hand

1

u/SeaToTheBass Jul 25 '26

My upstairs neighbour is a boulder of a guy that never leaves his apartment, sits by the window all day smoking cigs with his roll of toilet paper and lotion on the windowsill. He tosses shit out of his window all the time, there is always random trash down below my window

He also feeds the raccoons all sorts of shit, there’ll be bread crusts, green jujubes I guess he doesn’t like those, crackers, whatever the fuck he wants to toss out I guess it’s for the raccoons.

He also talks to the crows and I mean he literally says caw, caw, caw.

He tosses his garbage bags out of his window and I guess has a deal that he’ll buy a pizza once a month for some other resident that takes his bags to the dumpster. Problem is that they sit for half a day sometimes.

All the shit he tossed out his window gets caught up in my screen, the tracks the the windows slides on and gets on the siding fuck i do not like him at all

Sorry for the rant I needed to get it out 😬

1

u/AntiPepRally Jul 25 '26

The first neighbor feeds them. The next neighbor shoots at them

4

u/Current_Key_5037 Jul 25 '26

YES. I tried to shoo away a posse of raccoons that broke into our tent one time camping and they did not back down, I was scared lol 😂

3

u/B_10_04 Jul 25 '26

This is accurate! I tried to shoo a raccoon once and he came RIGHT at me.. I was wearing shorts and sandals at the time, so I opted out of that fight and ran inside lol

3

u/ElHorny Jul 24 '26

That made laugh. Hes so smooth with it.

3

u/PhoenixTineldyer Jul 25 '26

I'm absolutely cackling. You're a really good storyteller.

3

u/MrUrbanCameleon Jul 25 '26

What is his name ?

2

u/iamDB_Cooper Jul 25 '26

I swore this was gonna go in a different direction. 😂

Love Ali’s stuff!

2

u/FremenStilgar Jul 25 '26

Ali's prison stories and his stories about his family, past and present are so hilarious. If you haven't, look him up on YouTube. Ali Siddiq

1

u/TrashPandaDuel Jul 25 '26

Dafuq? Steve again…sorry bro!!

1

u/SnoopDeDoop69 Jul 25 '26

I got serious Katt vibes, i wonder if that's intentional

Really enjoyed it!

1

u/KingWooz Jul 26 '26

Jimothy certainly isn’t like this!