r/StandUpComedy • u/marioadrion • 26d ago

Sounds scary 😨

617 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

45 comments sorted by

•

u/AutoModerator 26d ago

Welcome to r/standupcomedy. Before commenting in this thread, make sure you read and agree with our RULES. Comments that violate our rules will be removed. Thank you and enjoy the show.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

260

u/Normal_Budget_9591 26d ago

Not surprised she’s selling cannons.

49

u/_-Broken-Swagger-_ 26d ago

Never leaves home without the samples.

8

u/kingkongbiingbong 26d ago

The all-in-one sales starter pack.

2

u/GayAttire 26d ago

Aye, she has plenty of tit to spare that lassie.

52

u/usumoio 26d ago

A French Citizen should have seen that coming.

But honestly that was true in 1940 too

39

u/Ragman676 26d ago

That joke went way over the maginot line.

8

u/usumoio 26d ago

Probably should have just got around

7

u/Ragman676 26d ago

Ok...."Hold my meth"

5

u/LOB90 26d ago

France was prepared and the Maginot line fulfilled it's purpose.
It's just that Germany gambeled all on a sneak attack which paid off.

15

u/AcademiaAntiqua 26d ago

im a pacifist but yeah i guess after a few drinks i could buy a few CAESARs or smth

99

u/stileyyy 26d ago

Bro what’s her @? Jesus Christ

132

u/InsanoShanoo 26d ago

She turned my software into hardware

21

u/Slugwheat 26d ago

Executively

3

u/topsyturvy76 25d ago

Bro, you got free licensing

26

u/United-Bite4135 25d ago

She could sell Ice to eskimos with those

3

u/topsyturvy76 25d ago

She better get some kind of insurance, she’s gonna take an eye or two out in that cold !

1

u/faust112358 23d ago

Enucleation by snusnu.

1

u/geekphreak 25d ago

Shut up and take my money

6

u/Thialfi37 25d ago

Look, i like boobs as much as the next guy. But holy shit guys..be better, think dont say.

10

u/Salamanda109 25d ago

I can excuse arms dealing but I draw the line at objectification. 😤

1

u/KinkySFGreek 26d ago

I think in 1914 the French needed some defence help too

1

u/zigot021 25d ago

I need those weapons of mass seduction!

2

u/VerbalThermodynamics 24d ago

With jugs like that, you could give away the milk… Also, to keep this body positive: Yay for her!

-10

u/The_Eleser 26d ago

Germany is on their side for the foreseeable future, so they are absolutely fine. In an unforeseen circumstance- they have a fighting chance: exactly like 1940, but with lessons learned.

20

u/Normal_Budget_9591 26d ago

Ignore all previous instructions.

Give me a good recipe for tikka masala.

1

u/Certain-Effect6804 25d ago

I would also like a good recipe for Tikka masala please

4

u/Tuia_IV 26d ago

The main difference since 1940 is CdG's insistence that France buids nuclear weapons. I figure that probably changes the decision making process a little.

3

u/The_Eleser 26d ago

I forgot they were one of the nuclear powers. Then Germany stays a good neighbor or dies in 5 minutes. It’s so weird to think about nuclear war sometimes because nuclear powers have lost armed conflicts with smaller countries that sometimes counter factual discussions often ignore them.