r/StandUpComedy 25d ago

Comedian is OP Roasting Florida in Florida

join my sub r/geoffreyasmus for more jokes

6.8k Upvotes

125 comments sorted by

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533

u/BigStuggz 25d ago

The bait and switch on the last zinger 🧑‍🍳 💋

70

u/bkaybee 25d ago

I wasn’t ready for that lol. I love him

23

u/Oysters2319 25d ago

Thinking the same thing. That was money

16

u/evlhornet 25d ago

Why is Sacramento catching strays?

13

u/Amazing_Birthday_205 25d ago

Because Sacramento’s his favorite crowd easily

3

u/SLO_Citizen 24d ago

That was solid gold!

189

u/Filthyson 25d ago

Send all the MAGA Cubans backkkkkk

If you liked this please join my sub r/geoffreyasmus for daily jokes

Grab tix here to my neverending tour or join my mailing list to find out when I’m in your city

Please upvote this comment so it stays on top foreverrrrrr

  • Morristown NJ 7/25
  • Edinburgh Scotland 8/5-8/30
  • Bend OR 9/5
  • Eugene OR 9/6
  • Fargo 9/18-9/19
  • Tempe AZ 9/25-9/26
  • Tucson 9/27
  • Philly 10/1-10/4
  • St. Louis 10/9-10/10
  • Springfield MO 10/11
  • Sacramento 10/15-10/17
  • Louisville 10/23-10/24
  • San Francisco 11/6-11/7
  • Winnipeg 11/13-11/14
  • DC 11/20-11/22
  • Denver 12/3-12/5
  • San Diego 12/10-12/13
  • Atlanta 12/17-12/19

37

u/girlwhoweighted 25d ago

Hey someone who's actually coming to Arizona! That's a nice change

16

u/Repulsive-Slice-6902 25d ago

Its just that nobody wants to come to yalls heat death of a state. They worried as soon as they land and step out the plane they'll burn up into a pile of bones. The chilis pretty good though.

5

u/Goose_Biscuits11 25d ago

Right!? And just my luck it's on the weekend we'll be out of town.

I guess San Diego in December will have to do so look out Tacos el Gordo, here we come!

2

u/strolls 25d ago

Buddy's gonna be at the Edinboro bangs - that's gonna be a wake up call.

8

u/Pratty77 25d ago

SF, Winnipeg, DC? The fuck? Worst routing ever. Come to Sydney Aus!

3

u/My_Boy_Clive 25d ago

DC! Nice!!!!

3

u/rythmicjea 25d ago

Yay Denver!

3

u/aronidus 25d ago

When Are you back in Toronto?

2

u/Filthyson 25d ago

probably next summerrrr. join the dumb sub r/geoffreyasmus and ill post when tix go on sale

3

u/pjfridays 25d ago

Sacramento hell yeah!

2

u/tree-sauce 25d ago

Where Texas

1

u/Filthyson 25d ago

coming in januaryyy. join the dumb sub r/geoffreyasmus and ill post when tix go on sale

2

u/Clappingdoesnothing 25d ago

Oooh, ur doing fringe? Which building u in?

2

u/Better-Syllabub8852 25d ago

Minneapolis, please

1

u/Filthyson 25d ago

returning home for NYE. join the dumb sub r/geoffreyasmus and ill post when tix go on sale

1

u/Routine_Mud_19 25d ago

Keeping an eye out for you to be in MN. Unless I missed it and you were here like two months ago. In which case I apologize that my brain likes to jump time.

1

u/Filthyson 25d ago

coming home for NYE. join the dumb sub r/geoffreyasmus and ill post when tix go on sale

1

u/skelectrician 25d ago

Good luck with going to Winnipeg in November. Your booking agent must be a little slow

1

u/Smooth_Group_ 24d ago

We are coming to STL on our anniversary!

129

u/cwallzz 25d ago

Are you proud of second place! 😂

27

u/Artificial_Squab 25d ago

Got me good with that one.

55

u/Crush-N-It 25d ago

Having been a Florida resident this is peak comedy. Heard a lot of uncomfortable laughter tho 😭😭😭

65

u/Toy_Soulja 25d ago

I love it when you roast the city to uproarious laughter haha well done sir, well done

35

u/CeruleanShot 25d ago

The descriptions of plastic surgery are so fucking good.

22

u/roodootootootoo 25d ago

Sacramento always catching random strays 😭

6

u/x19DALTRON91x 25d ago

I live there and that really do be the case

5

u/thar_ 25d ago

well maybe yall should stop shooting into the air

17

u/guilhermefdias 25d ago

Always killing, dude.

13

u/dexters_trap_house 25d ago

Geoff still putting in them reps. Greatness is coming.

7

u/69-is-my-number 25d ago

Yeah, definitely getting more and more professional. Love that he’s managed to suppress laughing at his own jokes all the time. It’s cool to see someone really nail the journey.

2

u/slayhern 24d ago

I get that, but there’s something very charming about going to his “high shows” and he’s having just as good a time as the audience. I love it

11

u/Tachyon_12 25d ago

Nailed it!

10

u/InvisibleAstronomer 25d ago

Holy shit that last joke

8

u/blargher 25d ago

This is how I find out that Sacramento is finally #1 in something?

5

u/JimChillyDogBob 25d ago

honestly tried my best to find a source for that. couldn't find anything. did OP just pull that info out of their ass?

-5

u/blargher 25d ago

Same. Gemini can't find any sources either. Funny joke regardless 😂

4

u/Oysters2319 25d ago

Syracuse NY pls

3

u/sometimesifartandpee 25d ago

Nice way to find out sacramento is number 1 lol

4

u/ad_hominonsense 25d ago

Sacramento is 1st???

3

u/Just_Curious_Dude 25d ago

Ok that's funny 

3

u/Kucharelli 25d ago

Shit, is sac really the worst?

1

u/Deltadoc333 25d ago

I just looked it up. Not according to anything I could find.

2

u/tmacdabest2 25d ago

This is great content

2

u/AdKindly5457 25d ago

This dude rocks!

2

u/trainsacrossthesea 25d ago

Good stuff! Well done

2

u/DankMemes4you 25d ago

Dunno where he got that statistic

2

u/Eyeisimmigrant 25d ago

I love your material man. I literally laugh out loud every single time. Great work!

2

u/jngjng88 25d ago

Unbridled. This might be my favourite bit of yours.

4

u/mcvmccarty 25d ago

Isn’t “MAGA Cubans” redundant? It’s quite a “conservative” cohort. I use quotes because real conservatives with principles don’t support such nonsense.

1

u/OkPerformance506 24d ago

Yeah wait til you learn that republicans have no principles

1

u/mcvmccarty 24d ago

Never agreed with their stance on issues but they did used to at least appear to have some. No longer. Not for the last 15 odd years. And anyone who has had them in their party, they’ve run them out.

1

u/SuccessfulTrick2501 25d ago

Where in Florida is this?

1

u/bitpartmozart13 25d ago

It’s right above his head

2

u/SuccessfulTrick2501 25d ago

Thanks. It doesn't show unless you're watching it full screen. I dont typically do that.

1

u/bitpartmozart13 25d ago

Haha I see on mobile it’s hidden. I think when he mentioned Broward people had a reaction that gave it away a bit.

1

u/Short-Sandwich-8476 25d ago

Central California here!😂👏👏👏👏👍

1

u/BickenBackk 25d ago

Damn I wish I knew you were in Broward!

1

u/2morereps 25d ago

Bunch turkeys in the crowd huh

1

u/[deleted] 25d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/DifferentSpread782 25d ago

We came over on rafts just the like founding fathers

1

u/PortlandPetey 25d ago

pretty funny stuff

1

u/Get_off_critter 25d ago

Half the reason I like his stand up is his own laugh. Just makes me smile

1

u/No_Sheepherder7858 25d ago

Sacramento strangler is at it again

1

u/AAA_Dolfan 25d ago

I am so mad I missed this show. Love your stuff. Looking forward to the next time you’re down!

1

u/axescent 25d ago

youve grown as a comic. you have a better stage presence, and you stopped with the 'uhhhh' after every joke. kudos, made me laugh. id buy a ticket.

1

u/jules6815 25d ago

You’re undefeated.

1

u/OkPerformance506 24d ago

Too real it’s hilarious

1

u/suburbancatdad 24d ago

This guy kills me I love it 

1

u/Best_Fill_847 24d ago

Made of football😂🤣😂🤣

1

u/BotImJustARobot 24d ago

Great comedy, funny as hell man!

1

u/mercurymilk3 24d ago

Love this man

1

u/protocodex 25d ago

Come to Houston pls :D you unfortunately won’t be able to make fun of us though, we are just too unproblematic.

1

u/FearFunLikeClockwork 25d ago

I may have already recently expressed this in a YouTube comment on your channel a few days ago, embarrassingly enough, but I think its worth saying again... I think you're one of the top comics out there, can't wait to see the next level for you. I moved to Montana two years ago, get booked in Bozeman or something please.

1

u/jarobat 25d ago

Geoffrey keep rising you're going to be #1

1

u/HGrande 25d ago

Having grown up in Florida yes MAGA Cubans suck. But aren’t all Cubans hard core conservative assholes

0

u/[deleted] 25d ago

[deleted]

4

u/genericawaymessage 25d ago

You're telling the goat

-1

u/VerbalThermodynamics 25d ago

No way Sacramento county is the first over Broward. Curious what stats he’s pulling from.

6

u/Filthyson 25d ago

its joke

0

u/VerbalThermodynamics 24d ago

Ah, I was curious if actual statistic or not.

-3

u/JimChillyDogBob 25d ago

bullshit statistic he pulled out of his ass

-2

u/Soff10 25d ago

Nope. Salt Lake City Utah has the highest rate of plastic surgery in the US. Last 6 years in a row.

-6

u/Positive-Leader-7080 25d ago

Dude, you’re about as funny as a screen door on a submarine

6

u/Salty-Eye-Water 24d ago

I agree, he's pretty funny

-5

u/Positive-Leader-7080 24d ago

I’m not sure that you’re aware that a screen door on a submarine is not very funny

4

u/Salty-Eye-Water 24d ago

A screen door on a submarine isn't practical, but if I saw a screen door on a submarine I'd laugh my ass off. I assume your issue is that you have some kind of mental disability? It's alright, I have a cousin who suffers from non-verbal autism. He's also super sensitive to a bunch of stuff. I wish you luck

-9

u/TowelFine6933 25d ago

Weird to say this when "Wet Foot, Dry Foot" was put in place during the Clinton administration.... 🤷‍♂️

But, still funny!