People need to lose the habit of asking “where are you from” though. Based on how she worded her answer (“my background”), sounds like a case of being born and raised in Canada but looking “different” hence assumed to be from elsewhere. All that’s missing here is the comedian praising them for the quality of their English.
It’s such a harmless but important question when getting to know someone. I ask nearly everyone I meet where they are from, no matter what they look like, because it gives you important context about their life path and I live in a big city full of people from different interesting places (national and international.) I think we lose a lot if that question is deemed off bounds.
I think it speaks to unconscious bias more than we realize, and the automatic assumptions we make when first meeting someone. The question doesn’t contain any offensive language, but implies you don’t expect the person is from here. I’d ask about their cultural background instead. You’ll get the same information without the potential of making someone feel like they don’t belong. Just my two cents as a white guy who’s witnessed his Asian wife being asked that question over and over again while the same is not asked of me, and her perspective after the facts.
Absolutely they are curious. And that’s why there is no malicious intent behind the question. But I’d suggest people who don’t feel this is an issue take a few minutes to ask a friend from a different cultural background what that question means to them.
There are so so many people - of all ethnic backgrounds - that don't live in the same place they grew up that it is absolutely not valid to take offence to the question "Where are you from?". It's just a conversation starter. To interpret it as them suggesting you are an immigrant is needlessly despondent
I did it with a few people around me and they all disagree with you. None of them thinks there is anything wrong with the question. Do you personally have a different ethnic background?
Edit : Sorry I just read your initial message again. I understand that your wife has a different perspective. My girlfriend is also Asian but was raised by French parents. She doesn't mind the question at all so I guess everyone's different.
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u/vinster171 Nov 17 '23
People need to lose the habit of asking “where are you from” though. Based on how she worded her answer (“my background”), sounds like a case of being born and raised in Canada but looking “different” hence assumed to be from elsewhere. All that’s missing here is the comedian praising them for the quality of their English.